I’ve been collecting romantic recipes. You never know when you’ll feel the urge to spoil a Sweetheart or impress a date. Here’s my most recent effort, a first attempt at Milk Chocolate Truffle Hearts:
Recipe:
8 ounces milk chocolate, chopped fine
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped fine
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
3/4 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1. Line a 9” baking pan with aluminum foil so that the foil covers the bottom and sides, overhanging the edge by about 1”.
2. Place chocolates and butter in a large heatproof bowl. Bring cream and sugar just to a boil in a small saucepan. Fold hot cream mixture into chocolate and butter until both are melted and the mixture is smooth. Scrape mixture into prepared pan, smooth and chill until set, at least one hour.
3. Using foil as handles, remove chocolate from pan and place on cutting board. If the chocolate surface is uneven, you can try smoothing it with a rolling pin. I used parchment between the chocolate and the rolling pin.
4. Use a small heart-shaped cutter to cut the chocolate int bite-sized pieces. I got over 4 dozen tiny candies out of this batch. Roll the scraps into balls. Sift cocoa powder over all, place candies between parchment paper and store in fridge for a week or more.
5. Serve simply on a pretty plate with perhaps some green leaves and a blossom or two.
Here’s some of the ingredients—I got really good chocolate and cream from the local organic food store:
And this is how I chopped the chocolate—without nibbling:
Stir in the cream and sugar ...
Stir…
Pour into the pan…
And smooth, then chill.
After chilling, remove from the pan…
Cut with heart-shaped cutter (this was the hardest part, getting the cut dough out of the cutter—I used my little finger and pushed)
Finished cutting, then dusted with cocoa powder (put powder through a sifter)...
For the final product…
These truffles are really easy and DELICIOUS!
The longer you have been single, the more used to the single state you are and the more likely it is that you will stay that way.
I don’t have any research to back me up on that, but frankly I am pretty sure that is so. Particularly if you have never been coupled (living together for a year or more) or married before at all.
It’s pretty hard in our culture to have managed not to marry at least once by the time you are 35 or 40, if you are heterosexual. The pressures to couple and marry are fierce. In fact, you probably worked a bit to stay uncoupled, either avoiding dating at all, or getting out of developing relationships before committing.
Being and staying single is what you know how to do. Your thoughts and behaviors keep you that way. And you will probably stay single without putting in enormous effort to get different results.
Interestingly, singles are often unaware of what they do that keeps them single.
Most folks have some ambivalence about looking for love. Ambivalence means having thoughts, feelings, or actions that are in contradiction to each other, like love and hate. Because it is hard for us to keep two conflicting thoughts or emotions conscious and in focus, we are often aware of only one side of the ambivalence. Therefore, you may think and believe that you want to find a partner, that you are willing to do anything in order to get one, but you may also be equally unsure or not wanting to give up your single privileges, and you act unconsciously to undermine your best efforts to get what you think you want.
What might you be doing that undermines your finding love?
If you are stumped, take a hop over to my readers’ “50 Ways to BLEEP Your Lover” for a funny take on the question. But I’ve got some serious suggestions that might be indications of ambivalence:
 You do nothing that will move you towards finding love.
You think that love should “just happen” with no effort on your part.
You are always “too busy” in the present and vow to start sometime in the future when you have time. But that time never comes.
Perhaps you are listed on a dating site, but you do not post a photo. Or your profile essay is negative or otherwise poorly written.
You never make the first contact to potential partners.
You are critical of those who contact you.
You do not answer first or later emails promptly, waiting days or weeks to respond.
You complain about how much time Internet dating takes and the poor quality of people on your dating site.
You have long lists of “must have’s” and “deal breakers” that eliminate just about everyone.
Your schedule is so full that it is next to impossible to arrange even a coffee date.
You don’t show up at the first meeting, or you get lost, or you are late, or you change plans multiple times and then complain when your date backs out.
You are negative and critical at you first meeting, complaining about other dates or your ex.
You focus on some small detail that totally turns you off to your date, like he is balding or she is a little heavier than her pictures indicated, or he doesn’t talk easily, or she can’t spell.
You do not express positive interest, even if you are interested, and leave getting in contact again after that meeting to your date.
You consistently are not interested in people who are attracted to you, are reasonably healthy emotionally, and are truly available for a relationship.
You are interested in complicated, artistic, wealthy, elusive, moody, or eccentric people who perhaps are married or otherwise paired, or never married, alcoholic or drug-addicted, unemployed or deviant.
You expect your partner to make your life exciting. But exciting may really be a synonym for scary.
Well, as you probably can guess, I could go on and on. But I am sure you get the picture.
Now, if you keep reading, fair warning: I’m going to spoil it for you. You won’t be able to use your old excuses as reasons why you are single.
You are the reason. The consistent factor in your staying single is you.
And it’s not because you are fat or short or bald or use a cane to get around. Plenty of short, fat, bald, lame people are in relationships or married. The fact that you aren’t one of them is you.
Ugh. That’s the bad news, hard to hear and not easy to deliver, believe me. But there’s good news, too, because if you are the reason you are single, then you can do something about it.
Single’s Misery Awareness Day?
If Valentine’s Day is your worst holiday of the year, use the misery to get you moving towards finding love.
Instead of just waiting until Valentine’s Day is over, try magnifying your distress to get you moving. I’ve got a brand new product that is perfect for those folks who have been waiting at the edge of the dating pool, too scared to jump in: My Sweetheartology 101 ecourse. Hop on over to take a look. Sweetheartology 101 will get you going. Here’s a hint: By the end of the first lesson, you will have signed up on a dating site. That’s how fast this course moves.
If even that seems like too much, you may need to do some serious “getting ready.” Well, I have something for that, too: My book “Find a Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women.” “Find a Sweetheart Soon!” does nothing to help you get a date EXCEPT get you readier than you can imagine. Readiness is an extremely important factor in finding a partner.
The message here is if you do nothing, nothing is what you are likely to get. Use your unhappiness about being single today to get you moving towards love!
Everyone should have a few romantic, indulgent recipes for special occasions. I love simple and elegant food. Add the romance and you’ve got a sure winner. Martha Stewart has this one—Rose Water Panna Cotta—below in her current magazine, at least a version of it. I didn’t like the fruits she paired with it—canned lychees? And where do you find edible rose petals, fresh ones, at this time of year? Not in my Publix, for sure. She also suggests raspberries, which I think are a good idea, but the raspberries in our market are not so good right now and VERY expensive. Minding the budget, which we all have to do these days, I went with blackberries, strawberries, and blueberries which are all at bargain rates and in perfect shape. Here is the result:
Rose Water Panna Cotta
(adapted from Martha Stewart’s recipe)
1 cup heavy cream
2 T sugar
1 tsp unflavored gelatin
1 T cold water
1/3 cup mascarpone cheese
2 - 3 tsp rose water (or 1/2 tsp vanilla or 1/4 tsp almond flavoring)
1 drop red food coloring (optional)
fresh berries for decoration
1. MIx cream and sugar in a small saucepan, heat over medium heat until sugar dissolves and remove from heat. Do not allow cream to boil.
2. Sprinkle gelatin over cold water in a small bowl and allow to soften, about 2 minutes. Add to hot cream mixture and stir until dissolved.
3. Put mascarpone in a medium bowl and strain cream mixture over it. Straining twice may seem silly, but it will make the result silken smooth. Stir until mascarpone is thoroughly mixed in.
4. Add rose water and coloring, stir and strain again into measuring cup or bowl with a pour spout.
5. Pour mixture into 4 demitasse cups, decorative bowls, or pretty wine glasses. Chill at least 2 hours.
6. Just before serving, either unmold or leave in containers, decorate with berries, and serve.
Here’s the hardest part of this very easy recipe—the ingredients. Mascarpone is Italian cream cheese—milder than what we think of as cream cheese—don’t know if you could substitute. Rose water I happened to have in the cupboard, and it has been there for years and is still good. The cream I got was exceptionally thick and rich, which of course made the results even more so:
The rose water going in—you probably could use vanilla or almond flavoring, but the rose water was really lovely and unusual:
And now the dishes—Martha used demitasse cups and then unmolded the panna cotta after it chilled. Why go to that trouble? Use a pretty dish that shows it off, like wine glasses. Then decorate with berries. I finished off with a dusting of powdered sugar. Pretty or what? And really very easy.
Martha’s got lots more Valentine goodie ideas on her website: http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/valentines-day-treats. But this one (slightly revised) is in her February magazine with the gorgeous cupcakes on the cover.
Guys who dance have a distinct advantage over those who don’t. Even guys who aren’t particularly good dancers but are willing to try have an edge. Watching the Obama’s on the dance floor recently got lots of folks talking. My client Leslie wrote me a wonderful piece of reflection that I am publishing in my February 1 enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE* that goes out today and is posted here on my website. She refers to one of my most popular articles “Become a Babe Magnet” which deserves to be posted here for your enjoyment:
Become a Babe Magnet without Surgery or Drugs!
Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved
“I’d like to find a partner who dances. Do you?” my profile on
Match.com asked. My now-husband Drew emailed that he was willing
to take lessons, and that was enough for me. Non-dancer Drew’s
courage to put himself out on the dance floor and to show in
lesson after lesson his amateur status was truly impressive. We
took private dance instruction for a year before our wedding, and
as a result, got around the dance floor quite gracefully at our
reception.
Women are dying to dance. Any man who can ask a woman to dance,
then take charge of what happens on the floor and move relatively
smoothly to music, has enormous appeal. Fat or skinny, short,
tall, or not even close to attractive, even old, old, old, a man
who is comfortable on the dance floor has his pick of the ladies.
For whatever the reason, dancing intoxicates. Especially women.
Few men can really dance, and those guys are on the floor
constantly. Some men think they can dance and do get up, ask the
ladies, and have fun. But at least half the men sit or stand
uncomfortably on the sidelines with all the women who wish to be
on the dance floor.
We women don’t get to dance nearly as much as we’d like to, even
the ladies who are good dancers. There aren’t enough dancing men
to go around. You can almost feel the yearning, the sadness, and
the disappointment in those women and between those non-dancing
couples. And the non-dancing guys? Pathetic.
I personally know three women close to my age who met their now-
spouses on the dance floor, and those ladies were great catches!
Gentlemen and ladies, there’s a message here.
Guys:
1. Take lessons and learn how to dance. Leading well takes
skill, but if Drew could learn how, so can you.
2. Go to dances.
3. Ask women to dance. Lots of women. They’ll love it. Even
if you aren’t so good, they’ll appreciate your efforts.
Dance lessons themselves are good places to meet women, and most
dance studios have regular parties for their students to practice
what they have learned.
Ladies:
1. Take dancing lessons yourself and learn how to follow. Here
I was, 50 years old, thinking I loved to dance, and I had no idea
how to do the woman’s part! Following takes skill! You have to
figure out what your partner has in mind for you to do in a split
second, and then actually do it, all while dancing backwards.
2. Buy yourself some real ballroom dancing shoes, maybe with
high heels. Believe it or not, those shoes are comfortable. They
have to be. Not only do they look very sexy, they stay on your
feet!
3. Hang out at dances, too, if you like to dance. Single guys
go to dances.
If you are connected to a dance studio, other single women will
be at their parties as well as the studio instructors and male
students, so you will know people. Dance parties are safe and
comfortable for single women.
Guys—nothing enhances as man’s romantic marketability more
than becoming a decent dancer. Learning to dance is cost
efficient and relatively painless. No surgery or blood loss, no
sweaty hours at the gym, no personality makeovers needed. Just
dance lessons.
What’s stopping you? Look up the dance studio nearest you and
make that call! You’ll become a dancing babe magnet!
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