What’s your pressing question about dating online? Here’s my 10 FAQ, then my answer to 3. What is the best dating site for me? below. I’ve already answered the first two, and you can see what I had to say by clicking the link after 1 and 2.
1. I am so scared I don’t know where to start. What can I do? For my answer, click here.
2. Does Internet dating work? For my answer, click here.
3. What is the best dating site for me?
4. Why don’t they answer my emails?
5. I don’t want to be recognized on a dating site by my family/friends/clients/co-workers/students. What can I do to prevent that?
6. Shouldn’t I try eHarmony?
7. Is it okay to lie about my age?
8. How do I tell my date about xyz?
9. There are no good men/women where I live. Should I even try?
10. This shouldn’t be so hard. Why does Internet dating take so much time? Shouldn’t love “just happen”?
Everyone wants to know what the best dating site is for their search. It’s a good question, because there are hundreds if not thousands of dating sites out there at any one time. For good reason: Internet dating sites – the big ones, anyway – make a lot of money. So lots of folks are trying to get in on the game by starting a dating site with some new angle. And most of them fade away. As appealing as it may seem to be on a site that caters to vegetarians, dog-lovers, or the tattooed, the name of this mating game is numbers: the higher the numbers, the more choice you have, and the more likely it is that you will find just the right mate.
The biggest site, actually, is free: PlentyofFish.com, but I do not recommend it, ever. First, you get what you pay for. Free sites attract people who can’t pay or don’t want to, folks who are there to play or for all sorts of reasons other than to look for serious love. PlentyofFish wastes no money on frills like good resolution so that your pictures won’t get distorted. In short, don’t got there.
eHarmony advertizes a lot, and usually comes to mind for people thinking about looking for love online. eHarmony has appeal, sending you matches based on your own answers to hundreds of questions. But eHarmony has a number of serious flaws, the biggest of which are the matches that they do send. How do you (or they) know what is the best match for you, and what about the people that they do NOT send you, those you never see? Most of my clients report frustration with the process, how long it takes, and the huge numbers of inappropriate candidates they are sent. If you want to know more about my gripes with eHarmony, go to my blog and click eHarmony (listed in the categories on the lower left) My advice: avoid eHarmony.
Why waste your time and money? Match.com is really the best place to go. Not only is Match.com about the oldest of the dating sites, but also, they now run Yahoo! Personals, which was Match’s biggest competitor. It’s hard to get real figures on dating sites, and even Match’s own numbers conflict (Match variously claims 20,000 and 60,000 new registrants daily), but suffice it to say, Match is where the best action is. Match has also worked hard to keep the site “clean” (no crotch shot photos or erotic essays) and stylish. Yes, the numbers are big, but really, that’s what you want. Match will send you suggestions for matches. But you will have the best results if you search and contact potentials yourself. You just need to figure out how to wade through and sort. Remember, you only have to get lucky once. Go to Match.com and get started. Now.
I’m working on answers to my 10 Most Frequently Asked Questions. This entry is my response to question 2. Does Internet dating work? Here’s the list of the full 10, then my answer to 2. Does Internet dating work? below. Probably one or two are questions that you have too. I’ve already answered 1., and you can find those responses by clicking the link.
1. I am so scared I don’t know where to start. What can I do? For my answer, click here.
2. Does Internet dating work?
3. What is the best dating site for me?
4. Why don’t they answer my emails?
5. I don’t want to be recognized on a dating site by my family/friends/clients/co-workers/students. What can I do to prevent that?
6. Shouldn’t I try eHarmony?
7. Is it okay to lie about my age?
8. How do I tell my date about xyz?
9. There are no good men/women where I live. Should I even try?
10. This shouldn’t be so hard. Why does Internet dating take so much time? Shouldn’t love “just happen”?
2. Does Internet dating work?
Now, on the surface, this sounds like a dumb question to a Romance Coach who met her husband on Match.com. Of course! We are living evidence that Internet dating does indeed work, and work well. And it is not just Drew and me. Internet dating is working so well now that 17% of newly marrieds over the last three years say they met online, 30% of those on Match.com. Particularly since 9/11, online dating has gone mainstream. If it wasn’t working, people wouldn’t be saying so.
The important thing to recognize is that Internet dating sites are not really the matchmakers some would like you to think. It’s better to realize that they are like glorified telephone books or catalogs.
Everyone listed is looking for someone. You can’t be sure what they are looking FOR, or how available they really are, but they are looking.
It’s up to you, though, to do the work and make your luck. The phone book won’t make the call for you, but will help you find the phone number for an individual or business. The catalogue won’t order a shirt or dress for you that is the right size and looks great. You have to do the picking and choosing yourself.
A better question would be “Does hiring a Romance Coach work?” For that, the answer is an unqualified “Yes!” At least, hiring THIS Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord.
Every one of the singles who have hired me to help them find love, have taken my advice, and have stuck with the process has found a loving partner. Every single one. And by the way, I have NEVER advised anyone to stop looking. Very occasionally, there will be someone who, for whatever reason, I simply cannot work with. We may agree to disagree. But never have I given up working with someone who really wants to find love and is willing to keep going until they do.
So here’s the secret: Internet dating works, and works very well, IF you know how to work it and are willing to keep at it until you succeed. Part of the success may be hiring a coach to help you with what you don’t know. But if you find yourself saying “Internet dating doesn’t work,” the real reason is that you haven’t figured out how to make it work for you. That’s where I can help. Because Internet dating DOES work.
Years ago, when I was a newer Romance Coach, a prospective client with a fine-tuned sense of business asked me about my success rate in helping singles find love. I said that was hard to establish, because people hired me for various reasons and jobs, plus I had no control over what they did with the help I gave. And that is still true.
Most folks that I help, truthfully, I never talk to. Thousands of people get my enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*, visit my blog and website, buy and read my books, and I never hear from them otherwise. Some people talk to me once only, and that is enough for them. More people hire me to do a specific job, like helping them build a quality profile package, and then I never hear from them again either.
But the clients I truly love working with hire me to get the job done – to help them find a mate – and stick with me until the job IS done, sometimes even longer. With those folks, I can confidently say that my success rate is 100%. Yes, that is right: 100% of the people who hire me, stick with me, take my advice, no matter how long it takes, eventually find the love they are looking for. Here’s why: I am good at what I do.
But…though I’d like to take full responsibility, a huge factor in mate-finding success is persistence. These folks stick to it. They may get discouraged or scared. They may get angry at me or the whole darned process. They may take a break now and then. But they are persistent, do not waver from their overall goal of finding love, and eventually, by God and with help from me, they do.
Now, many people who I help but never hear the results from also find love, because they too persevere. They keep at it. You only have to get lucky once at this game, and you make your own luck.
I know that some people give up. But the people who are successful do NOT give up. And those who stick with me never give up. I never give up on them either.
So want a 100% guarantee that you will find love? Hire me to help and stick with me. We’ll figure it out. I promise.
|
