“Blink,” Malcolm Gladwell, and Speed Dating
My latest favorite book came right from my Sweetie Drew. Drew is an NPR and PBS fan and is forever ordering books he hears about on radio and TV. Recently he heard about “Blink - The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” by Malcolm Galdwell. He loved the book, and while he was reading it, Drew kept telling me how much he thought I would like it. Well, I did.
“Blink” is all about that instantaneous flash of insight we can have that does not seem to be connected to rational thought. The coaching world calls this flash “intuition,” and we are taught to pay attention to such flashes and use them in our work with clients. Gladwell never uses the word “intuition,” but he tells story after story of instances where people “just knew” something that defied logic. Gladwell attributes these flashes of insight to the unconscious mind, a huge repository of information which we all have and of which we are largely unaware. Unaware however does not mean unused.
I think that much of what Gladwell describes is the process daters call “chemistry.” Internet daters are particularly concerned about chemistry, because meeting online, even with pictures and phone calls, leaves out all the subtle physical cues that come full force when people meet face to face. And as we all know, that chemistry can be Wow! Or Yick. And it’s important.
Gladwell even writes about speed dating! Hooray! Speed dating seems MADE for the thin slicing of decision making, and in some ways, that is so. I’ll talk more about speed dating in future postings. Speed dating relies on instant decision-making about interest and attraction. Gladwell writes much about how these flashes of insight proved correct. But also, he gives plenty of examples of when the insight does not work well, and is sometimes dead wrong. We all know of couples who hated each other on first meeting, but later felt strongly attracted. He says that good decision making rests on a balance between deliberate and instinctual thinking. And secondly, that too many choices reduces the effectiveness of the process. Speed dating involves many choices, and what might actually be a good match could get lost in the frenzy.
If you are interested in broadening your knowledge of the mysteries of attraction, then “Blink” needs to be on your reading list.
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Napster
Online Dating
Posted by Napster on 01/09 at 01:26 AM