Dating Dilemmas: Kids in the closet?
I made some money the other day from a little writing I did in response to a question posed on the Online Dating Newsletter: $5 for the best answer to an online dating dilemma. Here’s the predicament and then my answer. What would you have written?
http://www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com/youmakethecall/391/onlinedatehaskids.html/comment-page-1#comment-558” title=“From Online Dating Newsletter”>From Online Dating Newsletter:
You go out on a second date with someone you met online. The first date was great and the second date is confirming the chemistry you felt on the first date. However, midway through the second date you learn that the person you are with has two kids. It’s something that he/she said nothing about in his/her profile or on the first date. What do you do?
Not revealing that someone has children is a pretty blatant omission. Did they forget their parenthood, perhaps? More likely, they did not mention the kids in order to be more marketable. It’s possible to lie without saying anything — this is a lie by omission. The receiver of this information probably will feel tricked: they thought their date was childless and now it appears they are not. If your date will withhold such a big piece of information, what else could they be holding back? I’d first ask, “Why didn’t you tell me this beforehand?” and then listen very carefully to the answer. If the presence of children is a deal breaker for you, then you will know what to do. On the other hand, if you are neutral on the issue, then you will want to evaluate the whole of the situation, bearing in mind that this person withholds what you might need to know. Then again, children might be seen as a wonderful addition to the mix. But there is still the question of the withholding…
Now, just to try out your problem solving capabilities, how would you behave in the following dilemma, again from Online Dating Newsletter?
You’ve had great chemistry online and on the phone with a person you are about to meet for the first time at a coffee place. When your date arrives, he/she is wearing wrinkled clothes (not ugly, but definitely wrinkled) and a mismatched outfit. To top it off, he/she smells pretty bad. What do you do?
This one is a toughy. Send me your best solutions, and I’ll do at least as well as Online Dating Newsletter. Hmmm. What will the prize be, do you think?
