FAQ #7 Is it okay to lie about my age?
Here’s the short answer: No.
Here’s why: It’s just not a good idea to lie about ANYTHING in your Internet dating profile.
Because the goal is to meet your life partner, eventually, and here you are, lying. What does that say about you? It says that you are a liar, willing to trick and deceive to get a better deal. That’s not a message I would want to put out if I were you, even before meeting your potential partner in real time and space.
Lying is a short term solution with long term implications. You want a relationship for life. The foundation for such relationships is trust, and trust is fragile. Lying before you even get started absolutely goes against YOUR best interests.
Here are the justifications I hear for lying, about age, height, or whatever, and my responses:
If that is true, isn’t that nice?
Remember that there are other people your age who also have taken good care of themselves and look youthful, too. Maybe your date. And what a pleasant surprise it will be if you state your real age, your photos are recent and really look like you, and then when you meet Mr. or Ms. Right, they say “You look so young and vibrant for your age! And you look even better than your pictures!” Wonderful!
I won’t come up in searches with potentials who are looking for someone younger than me.
Yes, that’s true, but there is no reason that you can’t look for them and contact them anyway. Remember that you are much more likely to get what you want if you do the picking. And others LIKE it if you approach them first. Men, particularly.
That is not true. Not everyone lies about their age, though some do.
The direction in online dating is more and more to openness and complete honesty. Keep in mind that it is relatively easy to check someone’s age online. A simple Google search can find you out very quickly. Do you want to take that risk?
Even if you admit to lying right off, you are admitting to being willing to trick. How refreshing it would be to be able to say: “Everything I have written here in my profile is absolutely true. If you discover that I have lied about anything, you have my complete permission to end communication or our date immediately. I will do the same.”
I’m not attracted to people my age.
Yeowee! Do you sound ageist or what? You must not think too highly of yourself either.
Just like people tend to stick with fashion, hairstyles, or ideas that they formed when they were much younger, you may still have a preference for folks the age you were when you last dated. Or you are stuck at a certain prejudice, like no one over 40 (even if you are well beyond).
Even though you may FEEL much younger, you too have aged, along with your age cohorts. Don’t fool yourself. You are as old as you are. Can’t change that. You will be most likely to find the best mate for you who is within five years of your own age, on one side or another.
