Kathryn's Blog

Gee Kathryn, I did no realize you were so anti-Christian.  I actually admire the gentleman for standing up for his values.  I also find the “steady creeping towards the religious far right in this country” refreshing.  This country was founded on Christian ethics, principles and values.  I listen to James Dobson’s radio program at every available opportunity.  His programs are timely, relevant to current trends and challeges, and often inspiring.  I find it offensive that you dis EHarmony primarily because of their adherance to Christian values and association with such estabished ministries as Focus on the Family.  Dr. Warren obviously follows the biblical teaching as to gay and lesbian relationships.  I believe he is making an ethically responsible choice not to work with a population with which he has a clear value conflict.  In the realm of free enterprise he has the right to choose with whom he will work.  I respect his willingness to make any kind of statement about it.  You are apparently not interested in working with Christian singles.  You have successfully steered me his way.

Posted by Anonymous  on  05/11  at  08:58 PM

Well, goodness, I certainly raised this reader’s ire.  First off, the writer’s statements “Gee Kathryn, I did no realize you were so anti-Christian.” and “You are apparently not interested in working with Christian singles.” are dead wrong and I don’t see how he/she could have come to either conclusion from my writings. However, we all know how difficult it is to refute a negative.  It’s like the question “When did you stop beating your wife?” There’s no answer to the question that does not validate it in some way.  So I won’t go any further.

However, the writer above actually proves that I am doing my job.

Here’s how:

First, let’s talk about what I am for:  I am for informed decision making and ‘transparency”—the manner in which decisions are made should be obvious to all.  I think people deserve to know as much as possible when they put their future in someone else’s hands. eHarmony’s evangelical Christian roots (and perhaps biases) are not apparent to the average single looking for a mate.  In fact, eHarmony seems to be actively distancing itself from those roots (which go back to the 1980’s) because it makes business sense for them to do so.  See my blog posting dated May 10 “EHarmony Again and “Focus on the Family” Connections” for more about that.

I am also for inclusion, that this wonderful technology (Internet dating) be available for all.  If a site pleads ignorance as a reason to exclude a group, well, they should go out and educate themselves.  Ignorance is a feeble excuse for discrimination.

By the way, if what the writer above states is true—“Dr. Warren obviously follows the biblical teaching as to gay and lesbian relationships. I believe he is making an ethically responsible choice not to work with population with which he has a clear value conflict”— then why doesn’t eHarmony say so?  What they do say is that they do not know how to work with Gays and Lesbians. If they are making the decisions not to serve this population because of their own beliefs or on ethical grounds, they should say so.  I too would respect eHarmony for such a stance, though I would make sure that potential eHarmony sign-ups understood that position. 

I see a big part of my job as doing the work that my clients and readers don’t have the time or expertise to do for themselves:
Doing the research on what’s available online to help singles,
watching the media to stay current about what’s going on in Internet dating, digesting all the information and giving it back in a readable and understandable form.

Another part of my job as a Romance Caoch is showing who I am to my readers so that they can make an informed decision about working with me. There’s risk involved with being that real: the comments from the reader above show that. But if who I am and what I represent is not what a person would want to buy, then I feel they should know.

That’s what I feel eHarmony is NOT doing: Making themselves known so that buyers can truly be informed.  If there is nothing to hide, why not be open?

It would be financially advantageous for me to heartily endorse eHarmony.  EHarmony pays a handsome affiliate fee for any paid customer referred.  So I am not doing my pocketbook any favors by telling what I see as truth.  However, i feel the reliability of my knowledge and opinions has much more value, and I am betting on that side of the coin.

Posted by Kathryn Lord  on  05/12  at  10:20 AM

Well, golly.  I told ya the ‘thumpers would come out and git ya.

That said, if, indeed, Eharmony is a business, and recognizing all money is green, it just comes in different colored bags, Warren should be educating himself as to how to match gays. 

If it is a profit making business, that is.  If it is an extension of Dobson’s ministry, and Gary Bauer’s hate for all that is not “right” (I had dealings with him when Cowboy Ronnie was the Prez), then he should be honest and say so.

The disengenousness of Dr. Warren concerns me.  He is always offering me a “great discount”, which is is normal price.

Plus, he doesn’t know about men, either.  We are friggin’ visual.  We want to “see the goods”.

We don’t care so much what you look like, as there is someone for everyone, but we WANT TO KNOW.

/Rant mode

The Geezer

Posted by The Geezer  on  05/12  at  09:31 PM

Way to go Kathryn for not getting shouted down or intimidated by accustions of being anti-Christian because you value diversity.

Posted by Anonymous  on  05/14  at  01:19 PM

I don’t know who left this last posting, but THANKS!  Can’t tell you how much I appreciate that kind of message.

Best, Kathryn

Posted by Kathryn Lord  on  05/14  at  01:53 PM

Kathryn I applaud you for taking on the judgemental criticizm of the rabid Christian right.  These
individuals would do better to focus on their own pathological self-righteousness and the reasons for it; rather than focusing on the perceived faults of (gay/lesbian) individuals they have never even met.

Posted by Seth  on  05/19  at  02:06 PM

Liberal babble.

Posted by Anonymous  on  05/27  at  04:41 PM

Way to go Kathryn for not getting shouted down or intimidated by accustions of being anti-Christian because you value diversity.

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Posted by David  on  02/12  at  03:01 PM

Isn’t it funny how defensive the “Christian” got regarding your comments. Actually, it was Jesus who lived, ate and slept with 11 other men. Who even had an extra close disciple whom “he loved”.

Now it looks as if Eharmony will have to provide such service to everyone. It’s a shame that it took a court order.

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