How can I protect myself from scammers?
While you are looking:
Don’t advertise that you are sad and lonely. Don’t brag about how well-off you are.
Choose a well-run, well-known dating site that works to protect you. I always recommend Match.com.
Do not broadcast sexuality. Screen names and profiles that hint at sex may signal that you can be manipulated. People who have sex foremost in their minds tend not to use as much judgment.
Do not use any versions of your name in your screen name. Avoid identifying information in your profile.
A good dating site will help you protect your anonymity, even providing private phone hook ups.
Be suspicious of how the person writes and/or speaks. Does he/she write like a non-native English speaker? Do they have a strong non-USA accent? Do they claim to be American but temporarily out of the country? Be particularly watchful for Nigeria – many scams have Nigerian connections.
Report any questionable behavior and/or requests for money to the dating site.
Set yourself up with an anonymous email address.
Immediately stop a correspondence if you feel unsure, unsafe or threatened
Block communication to people who abuse the online dating system and report them to the dating site. Abuse includes married people who pose as single or of legal age when they are not, who send harassing or offensive emails, who behave badly after meeting in person, who may be criminals or behave suspiciously, those who fake profiles, who solicit and/or ask for money.
Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Once you have met someone online:
It’s okay to ask and even snoop. It’s your responsibility to yourself. This is your life we are talking about.
Get as many details as possible before you meet in real time and space. This is the time to ask questions. And asking now will make the first date feel less like an interview.
Consider a web cam or Skype “first date.” Web cams don’t lie.
Ask to meet their family and friends.
Ask and verify where they went to school and where they work.
Ask for a background check and offer to have one done on you, too, for their benefit. But background checks only help if you are sure that you have their right identifying information in the first place. So don’t put all your trust in a “clean” check.
When you ask questions, be sure to notice if your online date answers. Are they vague, roundabout, or evasive? Do they answer your questions by questioning you?
Do some looking around yourself. Google your date’s name as soon as you know it.
Get a “dating buddy.” Find somebody who is single and looking like you are and share the details of your correspondences. A fresh pair of eyes who is not involved in the romance might see things you don’t.
Be suspicious of too quick protestations of undying love and/or marriage proposals.
Remember the online dater’s Golden Rule: Never, never, never give money to someone you essentially don’t know.
