I have the money, why shouldn’t I send it?
If your Internet Sweetie starts asking you for money, what do you know right off the bat? That there is some kind of problem here with their ability to manage money, at the very least. Why are they having to ask you, a stranger, to help them financially?
People tell you about themselves constantly, you just have to be willing to listen. When you are looking for love, you need to have your antennae tuned up and working, paying attention to every detail your prospective partner puts forth and following up on anything that is questionable. Them asking you for money is VERY questionable. And not just because you are a stranger.
Here is someone you essentially don’t know who has approached you first and is asking you for money, right? If that happened on the street, you’d think they were a beggar or a con, correct? This person has identified you as someone who has something they want (money) and they are setting about to get it.
If this person is willing to ask strangers for money, then they either are terrible at managing their own money (getting and keeping it legally) or have no personal ethics (it’s okay to manipulate perfect strangers to give you money for nothing) or most likely, both. That’s a big, interesting piece of information. Think about it: You are looking for a mate to share your life with. Do you really want someone who can’t manage or earn money and manipulate strangers to get it? What kind of Prince or Princess Charming is that?
Let’s look at your end of the deal: By sending money to someone you have never met, you are essentially paying them to say nice things about you, tell you what you want (or ache) to hear. Want to test that out? Refuse to send money, no matter how desperate the pleas and see how long they keep writing/saying those sweet nothings that are now costing you a pretty penny or two.
Less commonly but not unheard of, you may meet your scammer in real time and space. They may look you in the eye, kiss you and more, and then start the scam. The more deeply that they can get you involved, the more likely they will be able to get you to part from your money. Typically, some kind of crisis or business deal will come up, they will plead that they have the money, just not the access to it “right now,” the money is tied up somewhere, can you lend some? If you refuse, they may increase the pressure, offering something you really want (like marriage), or pull back until you are frantic with worry. These techniques are also used by scammers who you will never meet in real time or space, but the strategies are more effective in the flesh, because sexual involvement makes your investment more intense and you more manipulatable.
The biggest reason not to give money is that you will never know if you are loved for you or your wallet if you do. Essentially paying someone to be intimate with you is just a baby step from prostitution. Is that what you really want? Or shouldn’t you be doing what you can to make yourself marketable as a mate without your paying being part of the equation?
