Investing for your later years – not what you think
Most of us understand the importance of planning financially for when we get older. Whether we do it or not is another matter. Go here to see some chilling facts.
But this article is not about money. It’s about time. It’s about investing time now for future payoffs.
I had two different phone calls yesterday that stirred up my thinking about time investment and future payoffs.
In the first, I listened to a fellow coach I have known for 10 years talk about her partner who is dying. They have been a couple for 15 years. I met them both on a cruise to Alaska sponsored by our coach training program MentorCoach.
All treatment for her partner has now stopped and he has been referred to Hospice. Hospice care is usually suggested for very ill people with only a short time to live.
My coach friend is exhausted, understandably. But she is pulling her resources together and trying to give her partner the most compassionate caring possible in these last few days and weeks of his life. She said she was going to decorate for Christmas this weekend.
The second phone call was with Bernice who is in a new relationship. Interestingly, Bernice is about the same age as my coach friend (early 60’s), though she has been out of a relationship for about as long as the coach friend has been in one.
Bernice is exhausted, too, but for a different set of reasons. A professional with her own business, a young adult child just “getting launched,” and elderly parents wanting her energy, her “time plate” was already full to overflowing when she met a new man. He however is essentially retired, full of energy and wanting a playmate.
While excited by the new possibilities, Bernice easily tips into the “too much” mode. How does she make the time this man wants while taking care of all her other responsibilities, not to mention herself?
No doubt about it: relationships take TIME. I’ve always been struck, when I was not in a relationship, how much time I had.
My coach friend is now paying back the time investment she and her partner have made in each other over the years. They both clearly invested in devotion. Nothing says “I’ll be there for you” like the care given when a loved one is dying.
Bernice is not alone. I see it all the time with my other clients and single friends. The common advice to singles? Stay busy, fill up your life. And they do. But what they do not do is save back time for investing into an intimate relationship, even though they want one. Their time gets so full that there never seems to be a good time to look for love. When they find the possibility, like Bernice, they then find it difficult to give the time to allow the relationship to develop.
Looking for love, then taking care of it so that love will grow, takes time. A lot of it. But given plenty, the relationship will pay off in the future. When you need it. When, if you don’t do the work now, you’ll wish that you had.
As the saying goes, no one says on their death bed “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” Where should you be investing your time, right now, for future gains? When you face your proverbial death bed, who will be there with you?
