Kathryn's Blog

Married and Wanting to Fool Around?

KOLR in the Ozarks is doing an investigation of online adultery and the AshleyMadison.com dating site. AshleyMadison.com, for those who don’t know, bills itself as the site for folks “When monogamy becomes Monotony.” The site helps married men and women connect to have affairs.

KOLR had a man and a woman list themselves on the site. Within two days, the woman got 40 messages from interested men. The KOLR man got none. I’ve heard that the men far outnumber the women on these sites, and the KOLR findings support that.

I’ve written about ol’ Ashley before. While I cringe at the whole premise, let’s get those married cruisers off the mainline sites like Match.com and Yahoo! Personals.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord

Comments

“KOLR had a man and a woman list themselves on the site. Within two days, the woman got 40 messages from interested men. The KOLR man got none.”

—have the same man and woman post to YahooPersonals, Match, or similar. I bet the message results will be identical.

Just read a tidbit about AshleyMadison’s fees: $240 for three month’s unlimited messages. Makes Match.com sound cheap. Seems like you can buy “credits” to communicate, but I couldn’t find out what those fees are. AshleyMadison did not indicate fees anywhere on the site before you register, and I didn’t register, but you can sign up for free.

Kathryn

I have been an Ashley Madison member, and you are right that the price seems steep. I guess the only thing I found unfulfilling about the website is I never actually got to meet anyone in real life. It’s a tough world. There are just too many guys on there as compared to girls. Maybe the website appeals to men more so than girls? What I don’t understand is why there are other AshleyMadison Alternative dating websites such as SeekingArrangement Sugar Daddy Dating where the number of females outnumber men 10 to 1? Are women just more interested in wealthy and powerful men?

I am male and was a member of both Ashley Madison and Seekingarrangement. I had a premium account on both. I never got a single email on Ashley Madison. On seekingarrangment, I got about a 70% response rate from 50 emails I sent. I actually found someone I like alot on seekingarrangement (and no I am not paying her to be my gf - she is married too). The woman I have connected with said she had received as many as 450 messages on seeking during a one week period (she is very attractive). She got about half that on ashley madison. I guess I got lucky, but I would say the Ashley Madison site was a complete waste of time and money. Seekingarrangement was much better for me. I think, but cannot prove, that many of the women posting on ashley madison are actually fake.

I guess I should have done more research on Ashley Madison before purchasing 200 credits for $79. The $240 gets you unlimited messages. I have to pay 5 credits to initiate contact. Problem is, I get no responses. So it is certainly a waste of time and money.

I have no reason to doubt that deceptive business practices were used against me before I paid the $79. While I was still a “guest” member, I received several “winks” and a request to begin an IM session. Of course, as a guest, I could not initiate contact. I was excited about the prospect of becoming a “full” member so that I could initiate contact with these women who were so interested in me. Now I am convinced that employees of Ashley Madison have the job of teasing the male “guest” members with “winks” and IM requests to generate that interest so that they will pay for “full” membership.

If you want to meet chicks for free just go to “Plenty Of Fish” ifs free free free always. Their motto is “put away your credit card” for goodness sake!! Let every one know about this site and put the Ashlel Madisins of the world out of business.

I have my suspicions also about Ashley Madison. It seems that I get about one response a month. By an incredibly beautiful woman. I’ll initiate a response but never hear anything again. Then after a few weeks of an empty mailbox another incredibly beautiful woman winks me again and process repeats itself. I have my suspicions that it’s actually AM employees baiting the empty mailboxes to use up the credits. Just my 2 cents.

yep am is a scam. i am not going to repeat all you guys ,but the same thing is happing with me.

AM is very unproductive for men. I think the women on it seem to get many messages. I’ve sent out many messages with no response. The one response I had result in a chat session and then a cancelled meeting. This is after 4 months.

There should be a ratings for users so real people can be seperated from fake profiles.

Joe

Better try something new. There are a lots of dating website out there. If you had no success with the other, find another.

I’ve been on AM for a year and a half, and I’ve met and had relationships with five attractive women. There definitely is a lot of spam on there, but there are real women too. The key is to make your message stand out amongst the hundreds that they get per week. Many won’t respond, but some will, and I can tell you that AM works.

On AM I get responses or winks but it’s only a one time deal. I think AM is 90 % fake. Someone should do an investigation and make hem prove differently.

I caught my husband on AshleyMadison, read his profile, signed up as a woman trying to meet men… and he hit on me! While “trying” to work it out, I corresponded with the girl he was talking to from AM, then I met her, she thought she was still talking to my husband and meeting him for sex. I just had to confront a married woman that was trying to sleep with my husband. I knew everything about her, her husbands name, her kids names, where they lived, how many times she had cheated etc., I threatened to tell her husband but never did.
My life and my childnre’s lives have been devistated by ashleymadison, but the only one I can blame is my now ex-husband. It’s a sickness, like an alcoholic.

Ashley Madison is a pure money sucking scam.

AM is a rip off. It’s fun in a way, but everyone should know that most of the profiles are fake and the “service” is designed to lock you into a clunky, expensive and inefficient cell so that you can’t communicate except through expensive email and IM. And the IM service not only costs you, it truly sucks. You get knocked offline for no reason and lose your credits, and the service is crawling with paid flunkies whose only job is to entice you to start a chat, then disappear while you’re stuck with 25 useless minutes of chat you paid for and cannot save. Like I said, it’s fun and sometimes you can meet a real person, but the best thing is to exchange email addresses and Yahoo messenger IDs and kiss AM goodbye.

I’ve been on and off AM for about 3 years and have met, in person, about 7 women and actually had several relationships that were everything you would think they would be (the good AND the bad). There ARE real women out there in unsatisfying relationships seeking exactly what the site is about, but the other posters are right - you HAVE to be persistent. Men outnumber women on the site by nearly 10:1 - and alot of men just spam new women arrivals to the point that they are just sick of surfing through disgusting email. You’re well-intended and well-written approach might never even have been read. Easily 90% of my initiated contact goes unanswered. It’s really a numbers game and a bit of luck.

A note for Keleigh - you’re certainly justified being angry and hurt, but your vindictive and threatening actions to the other woman only proved your husband wasn’t so out of the ballpark. You should have kept your relationship issues to your own household and let the other party move along their merry way. Just my two cents, you’re welcome to disagree. Some men are just going to cheat, no matter how good the relationship is. It’s in our nature despite all the Dr. Phil books you might read. But many men want to stay faithful but are very much driven to seek fulfillment outside their marriage. Pay attention to your relationship and this won’t be an issue.

Very obvious scam. I tried a Guest Membership. I received numerous “Collect” messages (for which one must purchase “credits” to read) from several women with different names from various cities, who, incredibly, happen to have the exact same picture…imagine that! All send identical to-the-letter message: “I’ve been trying to contact you, but you only have a guest membership” . Geez, how obvious; they don’t even TRY to disguise the fact that the site as a fake.

I’m a guy, Been on AM for over a year, sent out some intelligent emails and only once got a true response (that went nowhere since she sounded like a whore :-). One problem is that I’m not about to place my photo on the front page, and even when I send someone out a key to my private showcase of photos, I’ve never heard a word from them, and if they don’t respond in 5 days (and they have been online), I revoke the key - who needs that kind of risk. I paid less than $100 for my membership way back, and will not ever renew - it is a waste.

I find it odd, that this site came up, by typing in Ashley Madison Alternatives in to Dogpile, then to find it bashing AM.
Not that AM might need some bashing, I have been a member on and of over the last 8 years.
I have had 2 wonderful long term affairs which began there.(one, non-sexual) Both are still friends.
My marriage? Frankly, we do not sleep in the same part of the house and we have not been intimate in 15 years, literally and honestly, no joke. and it is not like I haven’t tired to do the things suggested on all the advice sites, including yours, to make things better.
It is not what she is interested in. She has two loves, money and other peoples “dramas”, more important than family or kids even.
I stay to give my kids a balance of what parents should be. I make sure they get support in anything they need or do. For heaven sakes do not inconvenience this woman!

BUT my comment is the following about AM and other sites:
You really should bash on 2 things other than AM in general.
1.
AdultFriendFinder if you think AM is bad, check out that site. It is very low class, so are most of the people there. BUT what is peculiar is AffairLink. It is the same as AFF. Use your same profile name and password, same profiles same everything, just a different door to walk in.
This got me to do some exploring.
I found that there are 3 sites enticing a person to join (that is married) that are accociated with AFF.
Then we go to cheatingwives, I found at least 5 sites that you can use your same profile name and password to login, that have “wives” in the name. Different sites that all funnel down to one.

Why did I do this? I could not figure how the numbers of people were out there. One site says it has 10 million members. So did the other site.
Then look at how many per state or region and the numbers were almost identical. That raised suspicion with me. I found it very interesting doing this.
Also some of the sites you indicate on here for “cheating” are overseas and so is their clientele, so it is not really relevant to being in the States.

2.
Don’t ding the married people that are misserable and just want something extra.
YOU SHOULD ding the people that are SINGLE that are on AM or other “married” sites cruising. They all have the opportunity to go to eharmony, match, chemistry, yahoo, etc. I have had inquiries from single, divorce woman, after they see my profile, (I state clearly why I am there and my intent. I have never wanted a fling or one night stand.) I simply tell them no thank you, and suggest they go to one of the singles sites.
Why are they there?????
Then the question should be asked, if there are married sites available, then why are the married people on singles sites? Which you do.

NOW I will agree, AM is does not have the best setup for their clients. It has gotten more expensive over the last 8 years, plus I can spot the ones that are there that “work” for the site to get you to “pony up”. I still wonder if AM gives those gals a “cut” for their time? It would only be fair. (that is a tongue in cheek remark, if you can see what I am implying by that!)

To the guys that complain about spending the money on these sites and getting nothing?

Is it cheaper than sitting at a bar and getting no where, because you are not being yourself? Are you presenting yourself as something your not?
Honesty is what these women are looking for, not how “big” or important or rich you THINK you are.
If you are looking for a fling or one night stand,
my advice is to set some money aside each month and treat yourself to a very good escort a couple times a year. You will get what “you” want, and there is no commitment, which is what I have read from most of the profiles.

But I have found the few woman that I have exchange messages with have more class, are more descent on AM than what is on AFF. I can not tell you how close AFF is to just a porn/hooker site. And yes I have politely declined inquiries from woman that have illicit pictures on their profiles.

Any way that is my two cents.

I will say you have some great ideas, but there are some very lonely married people out there and there sometimes is no choice of changing the situation for years.

ASK YOURSELF, could you possibly go over 10 years, with out ANY intimacy? At all. The only kiss you get in that time, is peck on the cheek from your mother when you visit her.

I have been through this. and I will not go with out again. But I look for someone, that is compatible with me, in thoughts and values (ok, scruples) and has the same goal in a “relationship”. It takes time, but it is worth the effort.

Plus don’t expect you will find a Super Model.
One of the gals that I was with for 3 years, she showed me a reply she got from an inquiry she made and sent with a picture, to a married male profile. The response was, “you are not attractive enough for me, I want a woman that others will take notice of” And this gal was a pretty woman!
That can be very hurtful to the person you responded to and to your chances of “meeting” someone. On some sites, profile owners can communicate with others and the website owners about this.

Well I have ranted long enough,
thank you for the opportunity.

A$hley Madi$on only exists to make one man filthy rich.
AM Employees post pictures posing as clients to lure men into spending money. This is a complete rip-off. They can do this legally because they clearly state that they do it in their fine print.
From Ashley Madisons Legal Notices and Disclaimers:
“From time to time this service may include, offer, or initiate winks, collect messages or instant chat from Market Researchers (Online Hosts) simulating attached or single men or women.” ...“Market Researchers (Online Hosts) will NOT be conspicuously identified. You accept and acknowledge that any written statements, mail messages or instant messages made by Market Researchers are provided for “entertainment” purposes that serve to enhance the user’s personal online experience.”

Beware

Absolutely right, it is much better to find real profiles and coming up fast is MutualArrangements.com . It is same as SeekingArrangement but about 2000% times more user friendly…Watch out Ashlet M! I met about 10 girls on Mutual Arrangments in less than a month lol!

Keleigh:

Are you giving your husband a lot of “love” at home? And yes, “love” is that dreaded sex you are suppose to provide your husband. You need to do your part as a loving wife.

Absolute scam. Was ask to give someone my phone number which I did. They called me with a blocked call. Came on with stuff right away how we were going to have sex like this and that? Are you kidding me? Then never heard from them again??? What about all the great sex we were supposed to have??? I deleted my profile and created a new one. Then got a message from someone else. Started talking by email but they acted just like other fake messages and emails I recieved. I challenged them that they were fake and they gave me their cell number insisting they were not. Guess what? When I called it was the same person from before! Hey, Don’t I know you? Click!! What a scam! Going to try to charge them back through my credit company for not receiving services as stated. Heck, why not? Worth the try and nothing to loose. Stay away from AM! Glad I only tried the service for the lowest fee of $50 using PayPal.

I’m a woman who was on AM for about 6 months during that time I have meet many men, some of whom I am still friends with. AM works it is not a scam. There’s another site that I have been very successful with also is http://www.meetmillionairessite.com

Thanks, Very interesting read, I�ve been really enjoying checking up your posts from time to time. Looking forward to see your future posts smile.
montreal exotic massage

ITS A SCAM! Especially for men! Don�t join �they�ll take your money and string your around with NO RESULTS. Spend that same money on women you meet on business trips, much (much!) better results. Think about it: the people making these negative comments aren�t pushing you to another site �we�re pointing out that this website is just bad (I�d be much more suspicious of the anonymous online defenders! All it takes is a staff member and a computer to create these fantasies for suckers). Don�t let yourself think �oh, maybe they�re wrong and I�ll be lucky�� how do you think they get their money? When guys let their junk think for them (which we�re often waaay too guilty of, myself included). You�ve been warned.

Question: WHY, you ask are divorced women at whatever site/s they’re on?

Answer: Because every single one of them has a TON of the same type of people… for me, as a woman, it’s men just looking to score. Doesn’t matter whether it’s at e-Harmony, Match, Yahoo, AFF, Plenty of Fish, Chemistry ... you get the picture.

Very discouraging, I’m sure for well meaning men as well as women. Don’t I know!!!

you know, I never thought a site dedicted to cheaters could be legit. I mean, its about cheaters for heavens sake! Doesnt surprise me that its one big scam. Check this out for Ashley Madison Scam

Before thinking its a scam, you’ll want to read about ashley madison reviews at Ashley Madison Reviews

I heard about Ashley Madison on some TV news program concerned about married men and women having affairs. Sounded too good to be true. So after a bit of checking on their site, I bought a credit package and sent out a couple IMs.

Almost immediately I received a collect message from �NibblyNeck� living in Pennsylvania. �So how long have you been here? Met any interesting people?� I sent her a reply which I had to split into two messages even though it was under the maximum size limit. I received no reply back which was odd since I am a very good and romantic writer.

A few days later I received another collect message from �Chemistry_1? living in Canada. This message also said �So how long have you been here? Met any interesting people?�

Now tell me, what are the odds of two women, living more than a 1000 miles apart, sending exactly the same message. They were of course fake, probably computer generated by AM in order to solicit charges to my account. For these two fake messages that they sent, their charges totaled about $50!

Complaints to AM produced evasive answers, none of which addressed the fakery that I accused them of. Now they have sent me a customer support phone number. I�ll call, but I don�t expect much from them. I disputed the charge on my credit card and will probably get the money back. I�ll let you know what happens.

By the way, read their Terms and Conditions. This paragraph is very revealing, but you probably would never see it buried in all the fine print:

�E. Market Research

From time to time the Service may include, offer, initiate or send winks, virtual gifts, collect messages instant chat and/or replies from individuals or programs (�Market Research�) for market research and/or customer experience and/or quality control and/or compliance purposes. Market Research information is used to provide analysis, feedback, trends, patterns, social commentary and information in the aggregate and aides in the process of monitoring our system for compliance with our operating standards. Market Research will NOT be conspicuously identified. We do not guarantee the authenticity of any member using our site. Any interaction or communication with Market Research is independent of, and separate from, our general database of Member�s seeking personal or physical or other kinds of encounters or introductions. You accept and acknowledge that any written statements, mail messages or instant messages made by Market Research are provided for �entertainment� purposes that serve to enhance the user�s personal online experience.�

It seems that they are trying to protect themselves from lawsuits regarding their fraud!

I couldn�t find out what those fees are. AshleyMadison did not indicate fees anywhere on the site before you register, and I didn�t register, but you can sign up for free. cna training class

My law firm is considering filing a class action lawsuit against Avid Life Media, which owns and operates Ashley Madison. As many of you already know, Ashley Madison is, in part, a scam that fraudulently solicits men and woman to pay to view �collect messages,� from fake profiles created by the site. Ashley Madison, knowing its site is a fraud, hides behind the fact that most people are unwilling to come forward about the site for fear of exposing the fact that they were seeking an affair. If anyone is interested in speaking with me about their experience please contact me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). I can help you get your money back!

Seeking Arrangement is a total scam, I tried it and I either got contacted by escorts or fake bots pretending to be escorts! What the hell is that! Google “Seeking Arrangement Scam” and see what you’ll find

If you guys ever did some checking you would see that AM ownes numerous sites including ashleymadisoncheating.com ashleymadisonreviews.org
ashleymadison.im

I love it! They write articles about how good AM is on these other sites which they own when in fact the are nothing more than a scam.

Let me ask you a question. If you were a lady that wanted sex why would you go onto a site like AM when you can go to a bar, nightclub, or a swing club. In those locations, you get to see who you are fooling around with and most importantly you can determine if you are safe with that person.

Only a whore is going to engage in sex with just anyone. If you listen to AM, every man will find someone on AM and that includes a 320 pound man, a drug infested person or just a man that couldn’t get a date if his life depended on it.

I forgot to mention you get a PLAYBOY quality women. GIVE ME A BREAK! Only a fool would believe this.

There are many women out there. Try a dating site and don’t talk about sex. Let the girl know who you are and that you are a nice person to be with. Be respectful and you will get all the sex you want. I own sereral dating services and I AM NOT HERE TO SELL YOU ON my dating services so I will not mention which ones I own.

The propagators of the Ashley Madison scam generally fall into one of six categories:
- owners of competing websites who use the Ashley Madison scam myth to lure people to their offers
- affiliate marketers promoting competing “married dating” websites who do the same as owners of competing websites
- people/groups opposed to “married dating” in general (and Ashley Madison in particular) on moral or religious grounds and who are waging war against Ashley Madison
- people who’ve been cheated on by the spouse through Ashley Madison who have scores to settle
- people who took out free memberships (90% of all guys don’t every go past the free guest memberships) and got nowhere…no shock here
- people who took out paid memberships but who failed to meet anyone because they’re clueless about how to approach a member of the opposite sex (hey’re overly aggressive in their approaches, they send nude pictures to everyone, and so forth…no tact whatsoever)
It’s worth noting that Ashley Madison has grown from about 2 million members in 2008 to nearly 9 million members as of today. If there were truly an Ashley Madison scam, would the membership really be growing at this rate?

Ashley Madison provides a safe venue for people to meet, connect and explore needed intimacy.

The site is NOT FAKE. NOT FAKE. NOT FAKE. I am a 23 year old female. Someone suggested I join this site and just may meet someone special, educated, nice, and looking for someone hot, young, and exciting to spend time with. She told me she met someone who was nice carring, showered her with gifts, and truly cared for who cared for her. When I first joined I recieved many messages from men, and chatted with them through instant messager. I got to know many nice men that just wanted someone to give them attention, to listen, notice how wonderful they were and spend time with them. Many want someone that connect with them, and connect with them the way they did with their wives sooooo many years ago. I ended up getting to know a nice gentleman that told me how his wife didnt appreciate him, the spark was gone, and loved her but wasnt satisfied anymore. I guess sometimes love isnt enough. I ended up meeting him for coffee and got to finally meet the person I got to know over many chats on the computer. We connected and after meeting in person there were definintly sparks and chemistry there. We started meeting more and more and had nice dinners, drinks, nights out on the town and even ended up taking a trip together (after knowing each other for a good amount of time). He was nice and complete gentleman and wined and dined me. He was a very successful man who just wanted someone to show him the attention he wasnt getting.Wanted someone he could converse within a way they dont get at home. Its nice for me because I am young, not looking to get married, and like spending time with a nice intelligent man who is on a different level then guys my age. He isnt clingy and we both get our space. We only meet and have wonderful times. For all of you thinking that means sex you are sadly mistaken. Like any relationship I took things slow and got to know him and when the time was right it happened. Its a relationship without all the drama, routien, daily hassel of a traditional relationship. AND FOR ALL OF YOU THINKING IM SOME YOUNG UNEDUCATED LOW CLASS GIRL YOU ARE WRONG. I have two bachelors degrees in Biology and Chemistry. I have a career in my field that pays pretty well for someone who has little experience and graduated in 2011. There are many men on there who are looking for a sugar baby, some dumb hot chick to screw, someone to have sex with for money, a one nightstand, someone they want to fly out to them for a week of fun, and many are successful at getting this (I know because I know someone who meets men on AM for that reason). I had many men offer those things. But my guy was different. Its nice to have a guy who takes care of me without all the hassel. He enjoys helping me my financial, physical, and emotional needs. Its a win for everyone. I am happy and taken care of, he is happy and has someone he cares for and gives him the things he doesnt get at home, and his wife still has her husband and gets to keep her happy life with her husband (who comes home to her most nights when he isnt “working late” or “away on business”) everyone wins. To me AM keeps marriages together in a way. Think about it!!!

My experience is that Ashley Madison is pure fraud or scam . I tried (curiosity , since I am single) and only got messages from young chicks that definitely wouldn’t choose a more mature man or invitations to chat . on top my original credits were not respected : they claimed more money when I hadn’t used them by far . complaining I could continue , but only for a little while .
But the worst was that after it was clear that nothing was real , I wanted to cancel and delete my profile : they directed me to a page for paying for cancelation of profile (22 eur.) . I didn’t want that of course , and I saw 2 options : a) cancelation with fee and b) cancelation . so I pinched on the second one to see what would happen . to my big surprise I was charged immediately . not passing to a confirmation page or nothing . PURE ILLEGAL . PURE FRAUD .
my advice never step into this webpage .

Ashley Madison is a complete fraud. This is the classic con. The con tells you you’re getting something immoral or illegal and so makes you believe that it is real because why would they say that if it was fake? Well Ashley Madison is all computer generated and their staff is well trained at getting you to pay your money for NOTHING.

That’s what you’ll get, nothing. Anyone who says they had a good experience with Ashley Madison works for the company. AM regularly tries to hijack websites like this one with these faked replies.

I’m going to check out that lawyer who posted above. If he’s real I’ll let you all know.

By the way, if we keep replying to Ashley Madison’s fake posts on this website, they will stop posting here because they are attracting unwanted attention by doing so. I saw this in another site that notified of follow-up comments. But if you google Am you’ll see that they are regularly posting on many other sites.

AM is real. It basically consists of either escorts, swingers or fairly unattractive women if you’re a nice looking guy.

You can hook up on it, but chances are if you have something going on for yourself in the looks department, you won’t find much that you’ll like.

I met a few in person and was attracted to zero. Better off an a free site and being honest about your situation and what you want.

Next entry: Feng Shui to Find Sweeties?

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Contact Kathryn by phone at 850.878.7779, by email at kathryn@find-a-sweetheart.com

3045 Dickinson Drive, Tallahassee, FL 32311

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