More Reasons to Always Tell the Truth
Just about the biggest and most frequent complaint that I hear about Internet dating is that people lie, distort, omit, and in general do not present themselves accurately online. Yet very often, these same folks who complain will shave a few years or pounds off their own descriptions, or use a very old photo.
I tell my romance clients to ALWAYS tell the truth. The simplest reason is that it is easier. You don’t have to remember as much. And you don’t have to worry about when the truth will come out. At the very least, you should never lie about something that will be obvious in the first meeting, like height, looks, or age.
The second big reason for telling the truth is that you are trying to start a relationship, and relationships are built on trust. What does it mean if you start out lying? It’s only natural that your date will be wondering what else you are lying about too. That’s a terrible way to start out, and it doesn’t bode well for the future.
Here are another set of reasons not to lie: Like anything else, when a need is identified, someone will step in to fill it. Since Internet daters are concerned about if their dates are lying, sites are popping up where you can report those kinds of inconsistencies and general bad behavior. TrueDater.com is one such site. Bop on over to TrueDater.com and see what’s coming down the pike. It’s a little chilling. Click on “Browse Reviews” and you’ll get a sense of what people are writing. Some of the reviews are linked to active profiles, so you can read the review, then check out what the person reviewed posted. On a positive note, some of the reviews are good, in fact, a lot seem to be.
You can also select a dating site (they currently include five major sites), type in a screen name, and see if there are any reviews of the person. Like Googling yourself, it’s probably going to be a good idea to check your own screen names here from time to time to see if anyone has reported on YOU. Here’s an article with more about what you can find there.
Clearly, as online daters become more sophisticated and learn about how to do background searches and utilize resources like TrueDater.com, it’ll be harder and harder to get away with lying. Good. Pay attention now, tell the truth, and you won’t get caught.
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
Don’t know about Truedater.Com. In some cases, people put their own profiles on there and say that they are “true daters”. There is nothing to stop that from happening from an anonymous source making it look like it’s truly anonymous. There is also nothing to stop someone from changing their ad/handle name so that it no longer is linkable from truedater.com.
Good concept, but nothing there to ensure credibility and integrity of the information.
Posted by Anonymous on 08/14 at 09:29 AM