Oprah, Truthiness, and Internet Dating
Did you happen to catch the “Oprah” show on Thursday when Ms. O (live) took on James Frey, the author of “A Million Little Pieces,” an Oprah Book Club pick in late 2005? If you don’t know it already, getting Oprah Book Club stamp on a book cover is worth millions to both the author and publisher in gigantic sales. Unfortunately, Mr. Frey’s riveting “memoir” of sobering up from cocaine and alcohol addiction contained more fiction than the label memoir should allow. Basically, the author fabricated incidents and details which enhanced his image of big bad tough guy. (You can see clips and read transcripts of the show on Oprah’s website.)
I was sure glad that I wasn’t James Frey. For about 1/3 of the program, Oprah drilled him to the wall, then in the rest of the show took on Nan Talese, his editor, and interviewed and showed clips from other prominent journalists on the topic of truth. It was a stellar performance and a profound strike for literary and journalistic truth. For the victim, such a public dressing down was worse than “60 Minutes” and Morley Safer. And three times longer.
Oprah and some of the guests talked about a term that I had not heard before: “Truthiness.” Here’s the definition from the American Dialect Society, who gave “truthiness” the award for “Word of the Year”:
truthiness: the quality of stating concepts or facts one wishes or believes to be true, rather than concepts or facts known to be true.
Now you tell me: Is truthiness the word of choice to describe most Internet dating profiles or what? Unbridled truthiness results in angry dates. Maybe as angry as Oprah was, though likely, not as good with words. Truthiness makes people feel duped. Played for a sucker. Cynical—after all, what and who can you trust anyway?
The only way to avoid this kind of response is with brutal honesty. Maybe even some modesty. One of my clients told me yesterday that a recent date gasped and told her that she looked much better in reality than in her picture. Now isn’t that refreshing? Certainly, better than the reverse.
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
I am new to blogging, but it’s fun.
I watched the entire show and so did my kids who watched with mixed reactions to why I was so interested. I don’t feel that James Frey is the smartest person but now he is getting quite an education on the truth…
As for the online dating…I have already found that yes, people lie. Something I have to watch or I get either disappointed, angry or disillusioned, which is not best because I already am, to some extent.
My approach is that w/online dating, you have to come at it w/no expectations except for sociological study and entertainment.
Best wishes!
Posted by northwestgrrl on 01/28 at 10:05 PM