The World Is Becoming a Small Town
I grew up in a small town, and remember the relief of going off to college where practically no one know me. I could create a new “me” apart from my old history. Then I went to graduate school in New York City, where I really relished the anonymity. Rarely did I ever see anyone I knew just on the street. I loved the privacy.
Computers and the Internet have given a sense of the privacy of big cities, where no one really knows “you” and you can recreate yourself. Certainly folks do, and dating sites provide plenty of examples of that creativity, some of which stray pretty far from anything based in reality. But now, we are moving into an era that feels more small town all the time. A Google of my own name brings up over 11,000 entries, not all me, but it looks like about 2/3’s ARE me. I am not hard to find.
A recent article from Wharton at the University of Pennsylvania discusses privacy and the Internet and warns of the dangers of posting pictures and information that could be available nearly forever, for whomever wanted to take a look. Take for instance the recent Tom Foley scandal. Here are a couple of examples from that article of inadvertent exposures:
In early September, a web developer took an apparently real advertisement placed online by a woman looking for a sexual liaison and posted it on the Seattle “casual encounters” section of the Craigslist bulletin board, according to press reports. There were 178 responses to the phony sexual solicitation, many of which included compromising photos. The developer then posted all the responses on a public website, including photos, email addresses and other personal information—where anyone could view them.
And:
Then there was the case of a young woman in Seoul who was on a subway train with her pet dog when the animal relieved itself on the floor. The woman did not clean up the mess, angering other riders, and the woman herself reportedly became surly as tensions escalated. Using a camera phone—at 99%, South Korea has the highest camera-phone penetration in the world—a passenger snapped a picture of the woman and the mess her dog had created. The photo, along with language describing what had happened, was posted online and eventually appeared on many sites. Some viewers were able to identify the woman, who became such a pariah that she dropped out of college and went into hiding.
Aiyiyi!
These both point to the real publicness of both public and private behavior. Do not assume that lies or bad behavior will go unreported and/or unpunished.
As with small towns, where everyone knowing everything established strong social controls on behavior, new ways of finding out what you don’t want revealed (or tracking down what you DO reveal and wish you hadn’t) are coming out every day. The good part is that creates pressure for good behavior—truthfulness, kindness, and politeness. The bad part is that misstep can easily be discovered and plastered all over creation. Literally.
So be careful with your online behavior. Don’t do or say anything you would not want anyone anywhere to know about.
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
