Transgendered Dating Woes
I get letters from visitors to my website and readers of my enewsletter all the time. When I think that the questions posed are of interest to more than the writer, I often alter the writer’s note to conceal identifying details, then publish the relevant content here or in my free *eMAIL to eMATE* enewsletter. (Not a subscriber? Sign up here!)
well hi iam a transgender m to f and i been on sites looking for love on everyone of them from paid ones to free ones and none of them worked ... all i got is people who are married or had lover ... or just people who have interest to u but then have many other people they are being with at the same time being with me… i want someone who will give me just me the attention but i cant find that ... its just that since most are online they feel like there are more options than me so they see many many people and when they get tired them they come back to me and i get that all the time ... so after a while i started to try a relationship over seas cus iam in the U.S. and it did not work either it was even worser ... i did not get the attention i wanted ... like i said to many options ... i guess u can say iam picky but i know what i want ... iam really attracted to other transgenders like me or girls ... and iam looking for someone who is asian like(chinese, thai , f!
ilipino, japanese , etc) .... kind of tall but not real talk just kind of talk ... and just someone who can be there for me no matter what and not make up excuses ... but just wondering if u can help me on this i have posted on sites i have done everything ... spent money on some just a waste of meoney ... and it seems like no matter what i say i want people who i dont want always respond even when i say it cleary what i want ... so if u can cud u plz help me ok bye and take care and thanks…
Trish
Hey Trish—I have been trying to think of how to respond to your letter. You have one complicated set of issues here, and certainly a difficult one. I see the biggest obstacle that you have is the small number of people in the group that you are interested in and who would be interested in you. First off, you are transgendered, and while things have changed a lot for TG’s in the last few years, still, the proportion of people who would be willing to consider a TG partner for a monogamous, long term relationship has to be quite small, well less than 10% of available singles, and maybe even less than 1%. That factor alone restricts your potential pool drastically. Then you list your own requirements: other TG’s (probably the best group for you to consider, since they understand your situation so well), girls (lesbians), Asian, and kind of tall (Asians tend not to be that tall). These each eliminate more and more people from your pool. No wonder your search has been so long.
I would encourage you to widen your parameters as much as possible. The biggest factor limiting your numbers is that you are transgendered, which is a fact and can’t be changed. So look in the group of people who would consider a TG partner. Then look seriously at ALL that you find in that group and stop looking for kind of tall Asian women. You need to expand your market as much as possible.
Good luck!
Best, Kathryn
I am a transgender and have been dating for years. I am not full-time, nor on hormones, nor plan any permanant physical changes. I dress for fun, the excitement of it, the feeling of being a woman, being accepted and treated as one, and to date out as a woman.
Unfortunately, finding a sincere admirer who accepts us, AND who enjoys dating us is a real challenge. Many men still sterotype us as she-males (term from the porn industry), or drag queens, etc. And from seeing all of the posts from other girls only wishing discreet hookups.
Posted by Ashli Kleier on 10/07 at 04:30 PM