Want to Get Turned On? Take Tango Lessons
I’ve been hearing from my clients that tango classes are the place to go for singles. They don’t have to convince me: I’m sure that nothing turns a woman on like a man who can dance. And I’ve written about it, too. See below.
Tango is the ultra ultra sexiest of dances, and the craze seems to be spreading. Read this article in the Post Independent to get a real feel for what dance evenings can be like.
Men: The numbers are terrific. Male dancers are always in demand. Go. Take lessons.
Women: What a wonderful way to experience your femininity. If you are tired of being the boss, take an evening in a dance studio and learn to be led.
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
Become a Babe Magnet without Surgery or Drugs!
Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved
“I’d like to find a partner who dances. Do you?” my profile on Match.com asked. My now-husband Drew emailed that he was willing to take lessons, and that was enough for me.
Non-dancer Drew’s courage to put himself out on the dance floor and to show in lesson after lesson his amateur status was truly impressive. We took private dance instruction for a year before our wedding, and as a result, got around the dance floor quite gracefully at our reception.
Women are dying to dance. Any man who can ask a woman to dance, then take charge of what happens on the floor and move relatively smoothly to music, has enormous appeal. Fat or skinny, short, tall, or not even close to attractive, even old, old, old, a man who is comfortable on the dance floor has his pick of the ladies.
For whatever the reason, dancing intoxicates. Especially women. Few men can really dance, and those guys are on the floor constantly. Some men think they can dance and do get up, ask the ladies, and have fun. But at least half the men sit or stand uncomfortably on the sidelines with all the women who wish to be on the dance floor.
We women don’t get to dance nearly as much as we’d like to, even the ladies who are good dancers. There aren’t enough dancing men to go around. You can almost feel the yearning, the sadness, and the disappointment in those women and between those non-dancing couples. And the non-dancing guys? Pathetic.
I personally know three women close to my age who met their now - spouses on the dance floor, and those ladies were great catches! Gentlemen and ladies, there’s a message here.
Guys:
1. Take lessons and learn how to dance. Leading well takes skill, but if Drew could learn how, so can you.
2. Go to dances.
3. Ask women to dance. Lots of women. They’ll love it. Even if you aren’t so good, they’ll appreciate your efforts.
Dance lessons themselves are good places to meet women, and most dance studios have regular parties for their students to practice what they have learned.
Ladies:
1. Take dancing lessons yourself and learn how to follow. Here I was, 50 years old, thinking I loved to dance, and I had no idea how to do the woman’s part! Following takes skill! You have to figure out what your partner has in mind for you to do in a split second, and then actually do it, all while dancing backwards.
2. Buy yourself some real ballroom dancing shoes, maybe with high heels. Believe it or not, those shoes are comfortable. They have to be. Not only do they look very sexy, they stay on your feet!
3. Hang out at dances, too, if you like to dance. Single guys go to dances.
If you are connected to a dance studio, other single women will be at their parties as well as the studio instructors and male students, so you will know people. Dance parties are safe and comfortable for single women. Guys—nothing enhances as man’s romantic marketability more than becoming a decent dancer. Learning to dance is cost efficient and relatively painless. No surgery or blood loss, no sweaty hours at the gym, no personality makeovers needed. Just dance lessons. What’s stopping you? Look up the dance studio nearest you and make that call!
You’ll become a dancing babe magnet!
Hi Kathryn. I’m actually taking Argentine Tango lessons right now, and I’ve been dancing (Swing, Ballroom, etc.) for a number of years. I have many thoughts about the issue of dating and dancing.
I agree that dancing is a good way for singles to meet, especially for men. At dances, there are usually more women than men. Occasionally, there are dances that I’ve been to where there are more men than women, but those are rare.
For both men and women, it provides a natural opportunity to meet and talk. You don’t have to think of a pickup line—“Would you like to dance?” is all you need if you see someone interesting.
Depending on where you live, Tango might not be the best choice. Here in the Boston area, Tango is one of the more unfriendly dances. For example, in Swing dancing, saying “no” when someone asks you to dance (unless you have a good reason) is considered to be rude. In Tango, unfortunately, it tends to be normal behavior. I recommend Swing dancing as a more easygoing, friendly dance. But, perhaps the unfriendliness I’ve encountered is just an artifact of living in Boston.
Kathryn, please tell women that when they go out dancing, it is perfectly okay for women to ask men to dance. It might not always have been this way, but nowadays it is so. At the Swing dances I go to, I see women who stand at the edge of the room, clearly wanting to be asked to dance but not doing anything about it. Interestingly, some men do this, too—I guess that they are afraid to ask someone to dance. Sometimes I’ll see a man and a woman standing next to each other at the edge of the room, both clearly wanting to dance but someone they never manage to ask each other. Don’t be one of those women who stand at the edge of the room, not dancing!
Going dancing is not a good date, in my opinion, as a social dancer. When I go dancing, I want to dance with many different people (that’s the whole point). Unless your date is also a social dancer who understands how it works, they could either be offended or left alone if you go off and dance with other people. And, it is a disappointing evening if you choose to stick with your date and don’t dance with others. For two non-dancers, perhaps it might work. For two dancers, it could also work, but I think that there would be the understanding that before dancing and after dancing might be part of the date, but the actually dancing is not.
Interestingly, I’ve met quite a few married women who frequently go out dancing without their husbands. The husbands never go (at least, I’ve never seen them in the two or three years that I’ve seen the wives at dances). It makes things tricky—not all single-appearing women at dances are available.
Of the dancing movies out at the moment, I get the impression that “Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School” is the one that deals most with dancing and romance.
Any questions for me about dancing?
Posted by Ben on 04/12 at 09:32 PM