What do singles on dating sites lie about?
Probably a better question would be “What don’t they lie about?” The anonymity that dating sites provide, combined with the anxiety about putting oneself “out there” as interested in love and the worry that no one will be interested back, provides a hot bed for stretching the truth.
Most common lies are about age, weight, height, and marital status. People lie about their age, height and weight because most dating sites ask for that information and then sort singles using the data they enter. Since online daters with any experience at all on the dating sites know that individuals search for possible dates using age, height and weight parameters, they are easily tempted to shave off years and pounds (men AND women) and add vertical inches (men). Particularly, if someone has just passed their decade birthday, it is all too tempting to bump themselves down, 41 becomes 37 or 38, 72 becomes 65. Weight is hard to judge accurately by sight, so 5 or 10 pounds less may pass easily. Height is another matter. Just about everyone knows how tall they are and what taller or shorter than themselves looks like. And most folks will look at shoes and heel height too.
Interestingly, many folks are able to justify what others would call lies. Routinely I hear people say that they look and feel younger than their calendar age, so saying they are younger than they are does not feel like a lie. Having the valued “positive self-esteem” can mean nurturing an inflated self-image. Research finds that most people judge themselves as more intelligent and attractive than average, which is statistically impossible. On the flip side, few women know that only 15% of men are six feet or more tall. And few men may be aware that the average American woman wears a size 14.
Men seem to lie more about their marital status, whether they are looking to “fool around” on their wives or are in the process of leaving or divorcing. Guesses have been as high as 30% of folks on dating sites are married. I don’t hear much about that now. Sites such as AshleyMadison.com have sprung up for married people who want to cheat, so perhaps those who were on the regular sites and lying have gone elsewhere. But, men and women known that stating they are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage makes them more marketable, even when what they are looking for may be a one-night stand.
Another form of lying is by using an old picture or one that is not accurate. Most men have learned what a glamor shot looks like and avoid them like the plague. Guys will often be wearing hats in their photo, which of course can conceal the hair that’s not there. I’ve heard many stories about people who have walked right by their prospective sweetheart on the first date because they looked so different from their photo.
Lying about anything to a prospective partner is not a good idea at all. You are talking about a possible mate for life here, and lying, especially about easily checked facts, is just plain stupid. Getting a tiny edge by lying about age or height and then being found out to be a liar sounds pretty foolish, doesn’t it?
