Why do singles who are looking for love lie?
Basically, people lie to get some control in a situation. They may feel out of control (not “good enough” to compete by telling the truth) or the situation may feel out of control (they feel vulnerable to the actions of others). Lying gives the liar a feeling of advantage that they do not have by telling the truth.
It’s easy to see why looking for love on an Internet dating site would encourage lying. First, putting oneself out in the dating market feels competitive, and naturally stirs up worries about not measuring up, not being “good enough.” Folks understandably feel vulnerable to the actions of strangers, as well. And Internet dating sites add other powerful ingredients to the mix: Anonymity (particularly if you don’t post a photo) and the lack of “real time and space” checks. Basically, people lie because they think it gives them an advantage over others and because it is easy to deceive, at least in the beginning. They lie because they can.
Just like in real life, you’ll run into people who are absolutely, strait-arrow honest about everything, then folks who maybe fudge about what they think are little things that won’t be noticed. Bigger liars tell bigger lies, and some folks lie about absolutely everything, even when telling the truth would be much easier.
Lying on a dating site or in your communications is very short- sighted, though. The purpose of signing up on a dating site is to form a romantic, perhaps life-long relationship. The foundation for good marriages is trust, so by lying, one or both of the participants are setting the relationship up to fail before they even meet.
While lying in other Internet venues may be relatively harmless (like making up a completely new character on a gaming site, like an Avatar, that bears no relation at all to your real self), the implied goal of dating online is to eventually meet in the real world and build a real relationship. The biggest problem with lying for daters is that the lies may and probably will be found out at some point. Maybe on the first date.
If you are serious about finding true love through an Internet dating site, IT IS TO YOUR GREATEST ADVANTAGE to tell the truth. Even if the truth is painful, puts you to a disadvantage, or makes you feel vulnerable, truth-telling is the very best quality any single can put forward. And truth-telling is free. It doesn’t cost you a cent. Whereas lying can be very, very expensive.
