IN THIS ISSUE:

1. Welcome and what’s new?
2. The finances of Romance Coaching - History
3. The finances of Romance Coaching - The Investment
4. The finances of Romance Coaching - What readers want
5. The finances of Romance Coaching - Here’s the plan
6. Who is Kathryn Lord?
7. What is Romance Coaching?

WELCOME! AND WHAT'S NEW?

I am going to do something here today that is very risky. When I talked about what I was thinking of writing to you to my coaching friends, I could hear a rapid intake of breath. Yikes!

I am going to open up my virtual financial books.

Most people think that I am doing very well as a Romance Coach. In a way, that is true. I love what I do. My clients and readers (you) love what I do, too. Who can’t love love? That’s my business.

I also have cultivated a classy image. I have a good looking website, put out fresh, quality, interesting material. You know the saying “Never let them see you sweat”? Hopefully, you’ve not seen any moisture.

But it is a good thing that I haven’t had to feed a family on what I make as a Romance Coach after expenses are paid, because the kiddies would have starved years ago. Basically, Find-a-Sweetheart.com is making less than nothing.

Any business person knows that this can’t continue. As you read in the last *eMAIL to eMATE*, I’ve now been in the romance business for 10 years. 2012 will be the deciding year of whether I will be able to keep going financially. You need to help.

See my explanation below, and watch your email box over the next two weeks, right up to Valentine’s Day. You’ll get a treat every day, as well as suggestions on how to help me keep going. Basically, send money. See here, to the left, at the top of the pink column? A super easy way to send money now. You’ll be seeing that in every newsletter.

What you WON’T be seeing, other than in PBS style fundraisers that I’ll be doing a couple more times in 2012, is advertising or attempts to sell you anything. Content here will be the continued high quality you are used to, and commercial free.

So here goes! Let’s do it together.

Best, Kathryn

When people ask what I do for work, “Romance Coach” always gets their attention. It’s intriguing, and as a profession I invented myself, I know how pleasurable it is to help people find love—and it is fun.

Romance Coaching is not particularly lucrative, however.

If I am going to continue helping you find the love you want, I am going to need you to help me.

Here’s the story about why:

When I decided to focus my coaching practice on helping singles find love via the Internet, no one else was doing anything similar. I can and do call myself the first Romance Coach (at least with my 21st Century twist of using Internet dating sites). I had to invent the specialty myself.

Not only did I have to learn what singles needed and then figure out how to translate that into actions – gain solid professional expertise, I also had to learn how to design and build a website (I did find an excellent designer to help me realize the vision), how to write for two newsletters a month and then an active blog, how to produce written material (countless articles and two books) that would help singles find love, how to build a following via my website and newsletter, and how to continuously “stir the pot” with aggressive marketing to keep new people coming in. 

Internet businesses make money by generating traffic to their sites. The more people who visit, the larger the numbers who actually buy the product or service offered.  Only a tiny percent of visitors ever translate into paying customers, like 1-3%.

In the first five years or so, my numbers were good, or at least encouraging.  Because I was so early in developing the specialty, I got attention fairly easily. My big break was when I was “discovered” by an editor at Yahoo! Personals. He asked me to write articles that often got posted on the home page of Yahoo! For a day. Goodness, did traffic to my website jump enormously when I was a Yahoo! Feature writer. My enewsletter mailing list hit an all time high of 5,000+ subscribers.

But…after a great 2 year run, Yahoo downsized and my editor was fired. Worse (or better?), Yahoo! Personals was absorbed by Match.com a couple of years later. Even my old postings on Yahoo! disappeared.

As well, other people were entering the dating coaching and advice-giving arena fast. While none that I have identified have the same combination of personal experience (meeting their mate online), a solid professional background (my mental health training and practice, plus my self-made expertise in romance), and life coach training, still, some were better at self promotion, and at the very least, increased completion for the “eyeballs” so precious to Internet markets.

I invested money heavily in those early years: continued coach training through MentorCoach (after the first which I got for free, the courses carried a hefty charge), conferences and training (even heftier), many feet of shelf space devoted to any books that might help me help singles, and then the multiple charges involved in website design and the fees associated (like a shopping cart, mailing list manager, web site hosting, domain name costs … it is truly amazing the amount of fees a good website can absorb effortlessly). I wanted a sleek, stylish website that looked active and was informative. I got it, but it has been expensive.

Initially, it was worth the investment. Some of those thousands on my mailing list turned into paying clients. Those clients followed my advice (for the most part) and a very large proportion went on dates and met great partners. Many of these even got married. You have read some of their stories right here in *eMAIL to eMATE*.

However, traffic to my website has slowed and my clients got just what they wanted – true love – they no longer needed to pay me. The present economy has not helped. Many people who could use my help cannot afford it. The money coming into Find-a-Sweetheart.com has gone down. The money never was great, but it paid the costs of the business with a little left over. Now, what is coming in does NOT pay the bills, let alone me. Basically, I am paying for the privilege of helping you find love. I do consider it a privilege, and I love doing it, but it makes no sense at all for me to pay to do so, does it?

Here’s another curious piece of the pie: Over the last few months, I have been getting more and more positive comments about *eMAIL to eMATE*. It has puzzled me, because I don’t think that I have been doing anything different as far as the writing and articles are concerned. But one thing has been different: I have not been doing much of any direct marketing in the newsletters lately. ALL the articles have been content, with no attempt to sell coaching, my books, or anything else. I guess people like that. I know I would.

Plus, I hate marketing and hard sell. I am not good at it, and I don’t want (and can’t afford) to hire someone to do it for me.

So I am looking at other avenues of generating income to keep me, *eMAIL to eMATE* and Find-a-Sweetheart.com going. Like the New York Times and other previously free content site, I need to look at how to get *eMAIL to eMATE* to generate some money in order to keep going.

I’m going to use the model that Public Broadcasting does to raise funds and come to you for help.

Public Broadcasting (both TV and radio) is commercial free. It’s practically all my household watches and listens to. The federal funding has steadily decreased – in Florida, the state financial support is now gone. So it is up to us who love it to “put our money where our eyes and ears are” and pony up dollars to keep Public Broadcasting going.

Public Broadcasting goes directly to viewers several times a year with continuous appeals for money, day in and day out, for two plus weeks. Guilt plus the nag factor works. Thank goodness. I love Public Broadcasting, do my part by sending in money, and it stays on the air.

While my website and *eMAIL to eMATE* will be free, and with no commercials, if you want me to continue my high level of time and quality investment in YOU and your romantic future, you can help ensure that the good stuff keeps coming by sending me some dollars. Just like the loyal viewers at Public Broadcasting.

I’ve made it easy for you to do so. Over the next two weeks, through Valentine’s Day, it will be your turn to tell me how much you love how hard I work for you. Every day, you’ll get an extra letter from me with one of my best articles included, plus directions on how to contribute.
I’ve added a dose of fun by suggesting “virtual gifts” that would show how much you care. Let’s be clear though that it is cash I need, to support Find-a-Sweetheart.com and my work to help you. You will NOT be funding a buying spree – the “virtual gifts” are fun only.  From now on, every *eMAIL to eMATE* will have a way to send money. But it will be unobtrusive, probably in the side bar. No more sales pitches.

I’ll be using your response to these fundraisers during 2012 to help me decide whether and how to keep going in 2013 and beyond. I’ll do my part: continuing to watch, learn, synthesize, and bring to you the very best information on how to find love. You need to let me know that you value what I am doing..(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), but most of all, send money. I need it to keep going.

So let me know: What is it worth to you?

6. WHO IS KATHRYN LORD?

Kathryn Lord (that’s me) is a Romance Coach and psychotherapist with over 30 years experience in helping singles find love and happiness. If you want to know more about my qualifications, you can find lots about me on my website http://www.Find-a-Sweetheart.com.

I know that you can find the love you are looking for because I did it myself when I was 48.  It was 1998 and online dating sites were brand new.  I was terrified, but I persevered, figured out the system on my own, and met my now husband Drew.  We are a match for sure.

7. WHAT IS ROMANCE COACHING?

Kathryn Lord (that’s me) is a Romance Coach and psychotherapist with over 30 years experience in helping singles find love and happiness. If you want to know more about my qualifications, you can find lots about me on my website http://www.Find-a-Sweetheart.com.

I know that you can find the love you are looking for because I did it myself when I was 48.  It was 1998 and online dating sites were brand new.  I was terrified, but I persevered, figured out the system on my own, and met my now husband Drew.  We are a match for sure.

Pass or forward this newsletter to friends or colleagues. You may be giving them the gift of romance!

Copyright 2012 Kathryn B. Lord. All rights reserved.

The above material is copyrighted, but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added, or deleted, including contact information. You may not copy it to a web site without my permission.

Reprint information will be freely granted upon request to student newspapers, universities, and other nonprofit educational organizations. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form.