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Kathryn's Blog

Online Dating Liars, Cheats and Scammers, Beware!

If you lie, cheat, or mislead people via Internet dating (or if you are concerned that someone will do it to you), you need to go on over to http://www.playersnitch.com/ and see the newest trend: reporting on who did what, with pictures, sceen names, and even full reports with identifying information.  I wrote about dontdatehimgirl.com earlier, which is a similar site. 

Playersnitch seems less catty and maybe less likely to be abused by folks who are just mad about a relationship gone bad.  I liked the reporting style—a whole list of possible sins: See list below this posting.  I was impressed frankly by the “restraint” of the reporters.  I think that the reporting style the site uses encourages preciseness and not just angry blasts.

The owner of the site sent me a video posted on YouTube that you might want to check out—to see if you are pictured, or anyone you are dating.  I looked up some of the screen names of those identified as posting on Match.com.  Some were still there, using the same screen name.

So fair warning: If you lie, cheat or behave badly, more and more ways are springing up for your behavior to be reported.  If you don’t want your name and picture appearing on one of these sites, then keep your behavior impeccable.

It’s becoming clearer and clearer that lying and bad behavior brings daters no advantage at all, and in fact, is destructive to the liar themselves.  Your best defense is absolute honesty, above-board, kind and responsible behavior.  And insist on the same from others.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord


Married
In a relationship
Last relationship is not over
Only wants sex
Dates multiple people
Sleeps with multiple people
Lies about age
Lies about height
Lies weight
Lies about body type
Lies about grey or balding hair
Lies about having children
Lies about employment status
Lies about financial security
Lies about where they live
Lies about health
Lies about smoking
Lies about drinking
Lies about drug use
Lies about what they are seeking
Lies about education
Posted old or misleading photos
Overly secretive
Is moody
Has a bad temper
Is a control freak
Is overly jealous
Will not commit to a relationship
Is an active alcoholic
Is a drug addict
Stalking
Cyber stalking
Threatening
Is physically violent
Steals money or property
Commits fraud for personal gain
Forges signatures or documents
Improperly transfers assets to self
Sexual assault
Claim of sexual interference by a child

*

Comments

Dear Kathryn,

I do not believe that some oft those so called “lies” are so uncommon among women. Do you really think all women poste “new” photos? Do you really believe, that even a new photo tells the truth about how someone looks like? With a good photographer, you can easily gain 5 years. What about heir colour, age, weight, relationships, children?

And - did you never hear about married women dating men claiming they are single?

Women usually don’t behave like saints - and men do not expect them to do so.

Yours

Gebhard a.k.a sehpferd

Thanks for posting, Gebhard.  I was a little confused by your posting, but realized that you thought I was saying that only men lie.  Not so, of course.  Take another look at what I wrote: You will see that it is gender neutral, as is http://www.playersnitch.com/  Men can report women, women can report men, or men report men, and women, women.  Lying knows no gender, nor should reporting.

Kathryn

It a rather common thing nowadays to date people on the Internet, in chat rooms or on forums. People who have difficulties in approaching others in real life do it easier on the net. That means they are more vulnerable than the rest thus easier to hurt. And there is no doubt that there are people taking advantage of that, women or men. It’s easy , it seems like fun, why not?(they’re thinking)

I don’t appreciate it when people lie at all, but considering that these people that go dating on the internet have a very sensible soul and don’t really have a life in real society where they can express their feelings. so if you lie to them it’s like double the damage, so there’s little good that can be said about you.

It’s becoming clearer and clearer that lying and bad behavior brings daters no advantage at all, and in fact, is destructive to the liar themselves.

hat means they are more vulnerable than the rest thus easier to hurt.

What i don’t get is this ... how could you trust a person without even seeing it ... just because he says he’s pretty and nice ?

Always play very carefully - as with anything in life

w w w Playersnitch.com isn’t very helpful as it does not list the very most popular sites, be them domestic to australia or not…the criteria for making a complaint must be completely filled by the one making the complaint and it asks for the dating site you discovered the culprit on. Due t its limited listing of dating sites it doesnt include scammers or liars on sites like person.com, rsvp etc and in fact, we all know that these people aren’t only discovered via dating sites and that gaining interest in someone and being lied to them can occur on many different sites, such as in my case. So thus site isn’t helpful to 1/2 of us, but is very concise and helpful for those who suit its criteria for lodging and blacklisting some scammers/liars.
PS: In my opinionthere are more females lying on dating sites as men are more the more desperate sex.

It’s is exactly what I was looking for last two weeks. One can get lots of useful info from this article, in other words, it’s never late to learn. Thanks to the author

Hey Kathryn,

Over in Hawaii, I considered building a site like playersnitch. However, there is always someone abusing it. I thought about possible lawsuits in making such a site and it was just not worth it.  In fact, http://www.playersnitch.com is down right now.  It wouldn’t surprise me that there was a “cease and desist” ordered down to the site.  The only way someone posts something online that is harmful to another’s character is if they themselves have been harmed.  I’d use caution in believing too much of what i read on a site like that, even if there is some stories that are valid.

Aloha from Hawaii.

How can you be sure Playersnitch itself is not lying?

Good point.  Of course you can’t know.  Kathryn

The human element is always part of any relationship. You never know if they are theirselves while they are trying to impress.

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It’s quite sad that some people can’t really be serious about this. After all he’s is playing with another persons feelings and beliefs and this can’t be tolerated. First of all banning them should be a solution, but i guess things will go on and on the way they are.

“I started using marijuana when I was 10 years old, graduated to LSD and ““shrooms”” at age 12 and then to heroin, cocaine, crack, and crystal meth at 14. Since most of my family, including my parents, were druggies, I didn’t see much wrong with it. At 14, I dropped out of school and my mom kicked me out on the street. At 16, I was shot in the chest over a $20.00 rock and then overdosed on heroin and nearly died. That was 7 months ago and I am now 7 months ““clean”” thanks to Jesus Christ. I lost years of my life and nearly my life, but Jesus has changed me. I still get tempted but II Peter 1:3 says that “”...His divine power (Christ’s) has given unto us all things that pertain to life and godliness…”” It’s His power that gives me all I need to stay “clean”
Regards, Rebecca
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Everybody likes to go their own way—to choose their own time and manner of devotion.
Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.
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Contact Kathryn by phone at 850.878.7779, by email at kathryn@find-a-sweetheart.com

3045 Dickinson Drive, Tallahassee, FL 32311

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