I don’t like to see other’s misfortune or say “I told you so,” but I did: In my May 2006 blog posting about sites with “executive” in the title, in this case, ExecutiveChristianDating. And here we’ve got evidence in the article below: the owner of the sites has been arrested for fraud. In general, it is a bad idea to go for any site whose title and premise is based on assumed affiliation, like all Christian or all millionaires. That simply draws false hope and unrealistic sense of security. No way that the sites can guarantee the presence of only Christians (and what does that mean if it could?) or only millionaires? Both Christians and millionaires can be lousy people. Beware.
Canadian owner of online dating site arrested for fraud
The Canadian owner of a site offering online dating services has been arrested for fraud.
Barrie Turner,65, from British Columbia, Canada is alleged to be in connection with the operation of more than 200 web sites offering “executive dating” services. The accused is the owner of Executive Dating LLC, a company which offered online dating services through various linked websites such as Executive Catholic Dating, Executive Gay Dating and Executive Seattle Dating.
Each of his sites demographically targets a particular group of customers, according to the complaint filed in U.S. District Court by officials with the U.S. Postal Inspection Services.
Turner was arrested Friday, after he crossed the border into the United States to pick up mail at a Point Roberts post-office box - the address where payments for his sites’ services were addressed to.
Customers said they paid as much as $997 for a six month membership and were told the fee would pay for “two to seven introductions or ‘matches’ per month.” Most of them received the same “match” profile and sometimes fictitious ones, and when they attempted to date this person, the system replayed that the person had chosen to date someone else.
Since 2005, more than 100 people filed consumer complaints accusing Turner of fraud for failing to provide any legitimate matchmaking services which they had paid for. Investigators estimate that Executive Dating received more than $1.2 million in mailed and wired payments.
A bugaboo since the dawn of Internet dating has been how easy it is for people to stretch, fudge, or bend the truth—let’s be blunt: Lie. What folks have a hard time understanding is that whatever you put in your online dating profile will eventually be checked out in reality, on that first coffee date and beyond. Now, not only is it left to the wits of the individual to figure out if their date is lying or not. Resources are popping up all over the Net that allow you to check out the veracity of anybody. Google was the first biggie. Now it is routine to Google a date. Then background checks. And now, even your smartphone can do the job. See the article below for “The future is now.”
Is your date a ‘stud or dud?’ Ask your phone
By Doug Gross, CNN
If that dreamy blind date seems too good to be true, or the guy at the bar with a martini and a pencil-thin moustache looks a little sketchy, the truth about them—or at least some of it—could be found on your phone.
Designers at a pair of companies say their new applications for smartphones can tell you in real time whether someone is married or divorced, has a criminal record, has filed for bankruptcy or has any number of potential red flags in their past.
Using Google to search for information on a prospective romantic partner is standard practice for many single people in the digital age. But these new apps, combined with the growth of smartphones and wireless networks, now allow for quick background checks on the go, potentially before a date is even over.
The lighthearted iPhone apps Stud or Dud? and Are They Really Single?—from online information broker PeopleFinders—have far-reaching potential for convenient snooping, and not just on potential dates. Their makers say that in today’s society it’s increasingly important to check out people’s backstories.
“There are more and more strangers in people’s lives,” said Bryce Lane, president of the PeopleFinders Network. “There’s this digital awakening where people are in online communities—they’re meeting people they don’t have information on.
“We think that’s a problem. Yes, there are a lot of opportunities to meet great new people, but a lot of people are misrepresenting who they are.”
Meanwhile, another data company, Intelius, is offering a similar app called DateCheck for the Android and BlackBerry, with other platforms in the works.
Marketed with the slogan, “Look up before you hook up,” the application has such features as a Sleaze Detector, which checks for criminal offenses, and $$$, which uses property ownership records to gauge someone’s financial assets.
DateCheck offers some less-serious information, too. Its Interests feature trolls for information on educational background, social networking activities and professional history while Compatibility compares the subject’s horoscope and astrological sign with the user’s.
With Stud or Dud? the user punches in as much information as they have on their subject. Results can range from past addresses, real estate ownership and business and professional licenses to bankruptcies, evictions, criminal records and what the company calls “possible relationships.”
Are They Really Single? scans marriage and divorce records.
Accurate searches also require a date of birth, which may be tricky to extract tactfully from someone on a first or second date.
Lane said all information comes from public records that are available to anyone. But PeopleFinders, which has been collecting data for more than 20 years from sources all over the United States, pulls it all together into one database.
“We’re hoping they’re fun apps and they’re helping you learn about the people that you come into contact with,” Lane said. “They’re easy to use and we’re pretty hopeful that they’re going to be popular.”
Both PeopleFinders apps will only return results on people 18 or older.
Advocates of online privacy say they see some problems.
Paul Stephens, a director at consumer group Privacy Rights Clearinghouse, said the main danger lies in thinking you’ve dug up dirt on someone when you’ve actually found someone else.
“If you only have limited information about the individual, it’s going to be culling from various sources that may or may not [find] the person you’re trying to investigate,” said Stephens. “You need to take the information with a grain of salt.”
While the iPhone apps are aimed at dating, the information is bound to be used in other ways, he said.
“In the case of a person not dating somebody, it’s not that big a deal,” said Stephens. “But we’ve had cases where somebody might not get a job because of an inaccuracy [from online information brokers], so it does become a big deal.”
He said his group, based in San Diego, California, would like to see more organizations regulated by the same federal laws that monitor fair and accurate credit reporting.
Lane, whose PeopleFinders Web site offers detailed background checks on people for a fee, said he’s providing a public service by making legally available information more accessible.
“We feel very strongly that it’s educational, it’s informative, it’s actually helping the public,” he said. “It’s what you don’t know about people that could potentially hurt you.”
He said the applications clearly show when results include multiple people and tell users that the more detail they provide, the more likely they will get an exact match.
Lane said anyone who asks can be removed from the company’s database, but he suggested that most of those who do have something to hide.
“Criminals ... of course they don’t want this information out there,” he said.
In a column on technology Web site Gizmodo, editor Rosa Golijan described the PeopleFinders apps as fun and joked that it was depressing to find out how many of her ex-boyfriends were “duds.”
She also noted at least one apparent glitch, when Are They Really Single? told her that a former high school sweetheart might be married to his grandmother. (In fairness, the app did say it was unlikely.)
Golijan dismissed privacy concerns, saying most of the info on the apps could be found “from a few clever Google searches.”
“I don’t think there’s reason to panic about privacy due to this app,” she said. “The same information and searches have been available for a long time.”
I just stumbled on a great resource for Internet daters: RomanceScams.org This is the best site I have seen for helping the average single looking for love online to identify scammers and scams. Here’s the site’s list of “Red Flags”—but go to RomanceScams.org and take a look around yourself. You’ll want to bookmark the site for future reference.
When Contact is First Made
* They immediately want to get off the website and onto Yahoo IM or MSN IM
* Their profile seems to disappear off the website immediately after conversation begins
* They claim it was destiny or fate and you are meant to be together
* They immediately ask for your picture and they send you a picture of themselves
* They immediately want your address so as to send you flowers, candy, and teddy bears, often purchased with stolen credit cards
* They claim to love you either immediately or within 24-48 hours
* They immediately start using pet names with you: hon/hun baby/babe sweety/sweetie
* They claim God brought you to him/her
* They typically claim to be from the US (or your local region) but they are overseas, or going overseas mainly to Nigeria, sometimes the UK for business or family matters
Communication Skills
* Their spelling is atrocious
* Their grammar is not consistent with how Americans speak, French speak etc.
* They appear uneducated with their speaking/writing skills
* They over-use emotions
* They are notorious for using BUZZ
* They are notorious for using “i” instead of “I”
* They consistently use webspeak or abbreviations; u r ur cos pls/plz ma sry brb div
* They often mix up their phrases: “i” will like to heer from you soonest, I am kool, Do you have any man you care to meet, Do you have any man you planning to meet, Looking for someone to love and care for in life, Am cheerfull in life, I will like to meet someone that is careing and loveing for real in life, “i” am too young for my age if you don’t know, Ok so how will you feel if i says i dont mind you, i will like you to be my best friend, You are so pretty for my likeness
* They misunderstand our slang or comparisons such as night owl/early bird, poker face
Their Habits
* They are not usually around on the weekends to IM
* They IM at unusual hours for your time zone
* There are times they are gone from the conversation for a length of time and will sometimes come back at you with a different name, they’re usually conversing with more than one person at a time
* If you ask them a question they don’t know they will usually be offline for a length of time so they can go look up the answer on the internet always claiming they had a phone call or had to go to the bathroom etc.
* They like to send you poems or love letters, most of which can be traced back to lovingyou.com. Sometimes they even forget to change the name in the poem or letter to match your name
* They send you flowers, teddy bears, and candy within the first few weeks of talking
* They typically ask you to get on your webcam yet they never seem to have a webcam of their own
* They ask for your phone number but when they call you can barely understand a word they say because of their accent and back ground noise
* They may give you a phone number but it’s typically a calling card or a call center, you can rarely get them on the phone
* They do not like to answer personal questions about themselves and tend to ignore questions
* They often do not know the correct time difference between where you are and where they claim to be
* They often claim to have one parent that is of African descent
* A majority of them claim to have lost a spouse/child/parent in a horrific traffic accident or airplane accident or any of the above are sick or in the hospital
* They have no close family or friend or business associates to turn to, even the US embassy, instead they can only rely on a stranger they picked off the internet
* To them love equals financial assistance…if you do not send them money or help them out with what they ask, you do not love them
* If you deny them or question them they become verbally abusive and will resort to threats
* They will insist you keep the relationship a secret until “they” come to you live with you
* Above all, if you call them a scammer they are highly offended and some will start throwing words at you in their native language
Their Inconsistencies
* The details they give you on IM are often different that what was stated on their profiles, one of the more common ones they give different answers to is their birth date, height/weight, and age etc.
* If you catch them on an inconsistency they will claim a friend or relative must’ve been using their id to chat with you, they will always try to come up with a cover-up and of course, you are always wrong or mistaken
* They often misspell the cities/towns they claim they are from and are unfamiliar with any of the local landmarks and attractions
* They do not know common questions that every US citizen would know the answer to
As if the thought of Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies weren’t distasteful enough, here’s the seamier side of an already seamy proposition: Sugar Daddies getting scammed, and then the potential baby ending up in the slammer.
‘Victim’ is convicted of trying extortion
A Newport Beach woman was convicted of trying to extort $15,000 from a 37-year-old man she met on an online dating website for wealthy men and women and their younger lovers.
Susanna Maria Coetzee, 28, pleaded guilty to threatening and attempting extortion and a misdemeanor count of filing a false police report.
On April 1, 2009, Coetzee met her victim for drinks after talking online through http://www.seekingarrangments.com, geared toward “Sugar Daddies, Mommies and Babies.”
The website is designed for wealthy men and women seeking attractive “babies” they will financially support as part of their relationship.
After drinks in a hotel in Anaheim, the two went upstairs to a room and began having consensual sex.
Within moments of starting to have sex, prosecutors said Coetzee stopped and demanded money. When the man refused, she accused him of trying to rape her and ran out of the room, screaming she’d been attacked. She later filed a police report with Anaheim police. She told police the man had shoved a pillow over her face to keep her from screaming and raped her and hit her on the head with the hand set from hotel room phone. She said he had unplugged the phone to keep her from calling for help.
Over the next two weeks, Coetzee sent the man dozens of text messages trying to extort $15,000 in exchange for her not moving forward with her rape allegation.
On April 14 Coetzee met the man outside of the Block in Orange to exchange $5,000 for a letter from her exonerating him from her rape allegations. Police had set up the meeting and arrested Coetzee after the money was exchanged.
Coetzee was sentenced to 127 days in jail and five years’ formal probation.
Another sad story of a woman duped by a Nigerian scammer. It’s worth reading her story, because it is so clear about how the scam worked. The woman paid this guy to tell her what she wanted to hear.
Romeo 419ers take Canadian women for $300k
Lonely hearts, empty wallets
By Lester Haines
Nigerian fraudsters have relieved a number of Edmonton women of a total of $300,000 in what the local Sun describes as “an online dating scam”.
One unnamed middle-aged divorcee - who admitted to losing “a lot” of money - was baited last September by a text message purportedly from a US businessman buying antiques in Nigeria. It read: “You know, you’re a very pretty lady, I like your profile.”
The victim, who was presumably identified on an online dating site, said: “You feel very flattered.”
The romance blossomed via text messages, emails and instant messaging, and the scammer faithfully promised to fly to Canada to marry the lovestruck mugu. She explained: “You can’t wait to get home from work, to message them. They’re not like your partner in life - they’re always there. And it’s always good things [they say], right? It’s never bad stuff. It’s what everybody wants to hear.”
Once firmly hooked, the woman then fell for a classic fleece. Requests for cash quickly “flooded in”, including a claim that the con artist’s son was in a NIgerian hospital and “needed money for three surgeries”.
She said: “I had so many friends tell me, ‘don’t send money’. But you love that person, you believe what they say. You don’t want to stop.”
After five months, during which other scammers also moved to extract cash from the unwitting victim - including one who offered unspecified Nigerian “police help” in return for wonga - the woman finally called the Canadian police.
She said of the Casanova crook: “How could you do this to me? Take away my money, my self-esteem. They took my life, basically.”
The victim concluded: “You think you’re smarter than [the crooks], but you’re not. It can happen to anyone.”
Detective Mark Johnson of Edmonton police explained that the woman was “not alone in getting duped by the same elaborate scam”. He admitted cops would “have to rely on Nigerian police to find and arrest the crooks”, but stressed that the victims could probably wave goodbye to their cash due to a “patchy foreign court system”.
Internet daters worry—legitimately—about online scammers. In short, scammers haunt dating sites for vulnerable lonely singles willing to believe anything to hear loving words. I’ve written extensively here about scamming (you can read my posts at http://www.find-a-sweetheart.com/blog/C48/). This story below is a horrific description of a complicated scam that goes beyond the typical “sweet words for money” that is more usual. Victoria really asked for trouble with her “Love is blind” statement. It’s not clear from the article where Lisa wrote “Love is blind”, but if someone is asking to be taken advantage of, “Love is blind” is a good clue. Lesson: be careful what you write that may set you up as a target. And stay suspicious.
Lonely heart’s kindy teacher horrifying journey: from to drug mule to jailbird
LES KENNEDY AND LEESHA MCKENNY
“LOVE is blind,” wrote Victoria Nicholson when, down and out in Somerset, England, she logged her profile onto an internet dating site.
Two years later the preschool teacher is paying dearly for her lonely search for love.
Nicholson, 46, chased a Shirley Valentine dream from England to China in 2007 but wound up serving time for smuggling heroin worth up to $88,000 into a country she has only ever seen through the window of a prison truck.
“I’ve never been in trouble in my life,” she told The Sun-Herald from Dillwynia women’s prison on Sydney’s north-western outskirts.
“I’ve made a mistake and I’ve been stupid for the person I fell in love with and I have also been used. I think it all goes together.”
Nicholson’s search for love and companionship on the internet was “like an addiction” and she eventually met a charming Nigerian called Emmanuel, a 32-year-old trader, online in April 2007. He quickly offered her a new life in China.
“He said, ‘I think I’m in love with you.’ I believed him because I so badly didn’t want to be alone,” she said.
Despite pleas from her 22-year-old daughter, Nicholson decided to fly to Guangzhou in July 2007, lured by the promise of a job and a lover, and the chance to leave behind a string of abusive and broken relationships, and a constant battle to make ends meet.
“My family and [others] tried to stop me, especially my daughter,” she said. “I said I’ve got nothing to lose, I’m going, I’ve made my mind up.”
When Emmanuel met her at the airport, he was everything she’d hoped he would be. Tall, dark and charming, he helped her find a job at a private school located hours out of town, while he worked as an importer-exporter in Guangzhou.
But after a few weeks, things started to change. Her return ticket to England disappeared and along with it went her plans of returning home by Christmas. Then the man who said he wanted to marry her started going out alone late at night.
“I thought he had another woman and he said ‘No, it’s not another woman,”’ she said.
“He said ‘Nothing’s for nothing, Victoria.”
On September 24, Emmanuel came home with two other Nigerian men and they had a package of “important medicine”. She said he told her they would be delivering it to Australia in what would be a holiday for them both. Then she discovered the flight booking was just for her.
“I blame myself,” she said. “All I keep thinking in my head is why was I so stupid?”
She said one of the men barked a clear and chilling instruction at Emmanuel: have sex with her, violently, to “make it fit”.
“It began to get fierce and that’s when he brought out the package,” she said. “I was crying and sweating and he got the package and tried to ram it between my legs.”
Screaming and bleeding, she begged him to stop.
“He said: ‘I’m sorry, I have to do this. He said, ‘There’s no time, you’re committed.”’
In those shocking few minutes, Nicholson became a drug mule.
Still in shock and pain, she said she was forced into several pairs of pants, given $US600 ($930) in cash - including $US200 in forgeries - and an address in Sydney. She was put on a plane with an escort, who disappeared after holding her in the transit lounge of Bangkok airport to ensure she boarded the connecting flight to Sydney.
“Somebody said ‘Why didn’t you go to the authorities in Bangkok?”’ she said. “I didn’t even think. I had no feeling, I was emotionless.”
She spent the entire flight in fear, thinking another member of the drug ring was aboard the flight, watching her to see if she made it through Customs.
Nicholson was near hysterical, sweating, shaking and in pain when she was pulled aside by Customs officers after her flight touched down at 12.30pm on September 25, 2007.
She confessed immediately and begged to be allowed to go to the toilet. She suspected the package inside her had started to leak.
“I [still] thought I was going to see the Sydney Opera House,” she said. “They must have thought I was a joke.”
Among her few possessions was a piece of paper with an address on it for a motel in Chullora. “I didn’t know where Chullora was,” she said.
Last November, having pleaded guilty to a charge of importing a marketable quantity of a border-controlled drug, Nicholson was sentenced to a maximum 4? years in jail with a non-parole period of 2? years.
Today she languishes in Dillwynia, longing to leave Australia and her darkest days behind her.
She jumps when doors open. She’s scared of men. Most of all she worries about her two children, one of whom is serving with the British navy.
“If I’m truthful to myself I’ve been a fool,” she said.
Finding love usually involves spending some money. “Smart Money” weighs in with advice for online daters:
Avoid Being Duped By Online Dating Sites
From Smart Money:
THOSE WHO’VE TRIED their hand at online dating recently may feel like they’re looking for love in all of the wrong places.
Complaints about online matchmaking and dating sites are up 73% from 2005, according to the Better Business Bureau. Among the growing number of grievances: so-called sweetheart scams and misleading claims from the sites themselves. Attracted by the money-making prospects of the $890 million the online-dating industry pulled in last year, virtual Cupids have been popping up everywhere, says David Card, a senior analyst with Jupiter Research. Yet, while the number of online dating and matchmaking services has grown by 173% since 2004, the number of dating hopefuls using these sites has remained relatively flat. That’s resulted in fierce competition among the online-dating services, which are desperate to squeeze whatever profits they can out of their ventures, whether by hiking subscription fees or embarking on even less scrupulous practices.
These deceptions are only exacerbated by users more apt to think of online dating as a means to a fairy tale ending, rather than a purchase requiring careful research, says Diana Falzone, host of Maxim Radio’s dating talk show “DeVore and Diana.” “At the end of the day, online dating is capitalism at its best, and we’re the products,” she points out. “This isn’t just about the heart. It’s about being a smart consumer.”
Opt to try a free site, and there’s little to lose. But the bulk of serious online dating happens on the pay-for-play sites, which can cost an average $30 per month. Add-on services and tiered memberships can easily double that cost. If your heart’s still set on finding your true love online, use these six tips to ensure that you’re getting the most out of your money.
Crunch the numbers
A common complaint about online dating is that sites exaggerate the number of potential dates that you’ll have exposure to. In 2007, while 10% of Internet users posted a personal ad on an online dating site, only 5% became paid subscribers, according to Jupiter Research. The problem: Typically only subscribers can reach out or respond to other users, says Trish McDermott, a co-founder of Match.com who left to co-found Engage.com, a social-networking site geared toward dating. Considering that you’ll be narrowing your options further by location, age and other factors, it’s important to start with as wide a field as possible. For data on the true number of subscribers at a site, search its “About Us” or “Frequently Asked Questions” pages.
Browse the wares
The most common complaint about matchmaking sites, which choose potential dates for you, is that the quality of the singles don’t meet the seeker’s criteria (i.e., you asked for nonsmokers and got a smoker, or you’re based in New York City and the closest date, geographically, lives in Philadelphia), according to the Better Business Bureau. Don’t pay for access to a site that doesn’t first give you a free glimpse of the subscribers that meet your list of qualifications, cautions Steve Cox, a spokesman for the BBB. You may not be able to contact the prospective dates directly until you pay, but at least you know that you won’t be matched up with a bunch of duds.
Conduct a background check
Your penchant for bad boys (or girls) shouldn’t pertain to the dating service you select. A squeaky clean image is key to ensuring a healthier relationship. Check for complaints online at the Better Business Bureau. Read consumer reviews at online dating review sites like eDateReview, as well as general review sites like ConsumerSearch.com.
Don’t be blinded by sweetheart scams
There are more dangerous deceptions in online dating than a middle-aged guy with a spare tire posting a photo from his college football days. Sites are rife with so-called sweetheart scams, which aim to swindle online daters out of cash, warns Dale Miskell, supervisory special agent in charge of an FBI cybercrime squad in Birmingham, Ala. “They’ll send some candy, flowers or a teddy bear, all paid for with a stolen credit card,” he says. “Then suddenly it’s: ‘I’d love to see you, but I need money for a plane ticket; I need money for my visa.’” Or the scammer might ask you to cash a (fake) check for them.
Before posting that profile, look into the dating service’s policies regarding background checks or account suspensions for suspicious behavior. New Jersey just passed the Internet Dating Safety Act, requiring online-dating services to disclose their criminal background screening processes, including what they look for, or if they look at all. If you do meet someone online, don’t be so blinded by love that you ignore a few red flags: would-be dates who live far away, who can’t seem to arrange phone calls or in-person meetings, or who continually ask for favors, says Miskell.
Guarantees are for suckers
Dating sites try to woo new customers with money-back guarantees if they fail to find love within a certain time period. But you’d be a fool to trust that advertising sweet talk, says Falzone. It takes just a few emails from another user to nullify the deal. “From their perspective, you met someone but it just didn’t work out,” she says.
Learn how to break up
Nearly 70% of complaints against online-dating sites stem from billing issues. Unless you specifically cancel your account, your membership may be automatically renewed — or, in the case of free trials, segue right into a paid membership. Consumers also complain that canceling an account doesn’t always stop subscription fees from being charged to their account. Read the fine print when you sign up to find out what you need to do to wiggle out of your subscription once you’ve met Mr. or Ms. Right. Always pay with a credit card to protect against auto billing pitfalls. When you do cancel, secure a confirmation from the company.
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Marks Brooks at OnlinePersonalsWatch recently got permission to publish ChristianCafe.com’s gender ratios, by age groups. You don’t often see these kind of stats, because dating sites don’t want you to know if you may be at a statistical disadvantage on their site. But I suspect that these ratios are typical for religious themed sites. Look at how quickly the stats get skewed, putting women at a distinct disadvantage:
Male/Female
18-20 - 50.7% / 49.3%
21-30 - 42.8% / 57.2%
31-40 - 40.8% / 59.2%
41-50 - 37.5% / 62.5%
51-60 - 33% / 67%
61+ - 31.9% / 68.1%
Avg overall - 39.9% / 60.1%
When you look at the attendance at most churches, women usually predominate. Therefore it would make sense that on Christian themed sites, women would be in the majority. So not only are the stats bad for women, but also, men target these sites to find vulnerable women. Folks assume that a site that welcomes Christians, let’s say, is safer, that all on the site embrace Christian values. But the site can do little if anything to assure that this is so. I have had several clients and others report getting scammed with dates that came from a Christian site or eHarmony, which has evangelical Christian roots. So ladies, beware. Christian or not, you probably would be served better on a site that has better gender ratios and didn’t lull you into thinking you were safe.
I’m always on the lookout for more information to help you stay safe. Oprah is usually on top of the most recent stuff, and Cindy Surette publishes some of the findings on her blog. Take a look at this summary:
On Cindy Surette’s blog:
Oprah Romance Scam
On yesterday’s Oprah show, they dedicated a whole show to SCAMS, not just Nigerian email scams, but all kinds of other scams. I’m going to focus on one of those scams—- The Romance Scam. This online scam is conducted at many of the popular dating sites. They meet you in the normal way. They send you a picture of a very good looking man/woman (the real person to whom this picture belongs is also being scammed since they have no idea that their picture is being used in these kind of scams!) They tell you everything you want to hear, so you are going along thinking you’ve met the perfect guy/girl (yes, there are also women scammers) until they start asking you for money. Here are some warning signs taken directly off this site romancescams.org/
When Contact is First Made
* They immediately want to get off the website and onto Yahoo IM or MSN IM
* Their profile seems to disappear off the website immediately after conversation begins
* They claim it was destiny or fate and you are meant to be together
* They immediately ask for your picture and they send you a picture of themselves
* They immediately want your address so as to send you flowers, candy, and teddy bears, often purchased with stolen credit cards
* They claim to love you either immediately or within 24-48 hours
* They immediately start using pet names with you: hon/hun baby/babe sweety/sweetie
* They claim God brought you to him/her
* They typically claim to be from the US (or your local region) but they are overseas, or going overseas mainly to Nigeria, sometimes the UK for business or family matters
Thus if you have been taken by a Romance Scam like the Oprah Romance scam go to the above mentioned site. They have a lot of resources there to help you.
When the Better Business Bureau puts out suggestions for online daters, it’s a good idea to pay attention.
The BBB recommends the following tips when considering a matchmaking site:
• Think with your head, not with your heart. If you’ve just signed up for a matchmaking site and you suddenly have three people contacting you before you’ve even put up a profile or picture, reconsider joining. Ask yourself if you’ve been on for a reasonable amount of time to actually have real people see your profile and decide to contact you.
• Don’t give in to high-pressure sales tactics. Watch out for sales techniques where a site claims that a price is “good for this day only” or associates may pressure consumers into signing a contract. Take the time to read over any contracts you agree to in order to make sure you know what you’re getting into.
• Watch out for automatic renewal programs. Many subscription-based sites on the Internet offer automatic renewal to make it easier for consumers to remain members without having to constantly renew their membership. However, many matchmaking services sign you up for automatic renewal by default. If you don’t want to be renewed automatically at the end of your subscription, make sure you figure out how to turn off that feature early in your membership.
• Don’t fall in love with the advertising. Beware of claims such as “an exclusive network of people,”“for sincere daters only,” and “beautiful singles just like you.” Online Web sites don’t discriminate against who joins their site outside of members who pay.
RussianScamCheck.com that I wrote about in the last posting (August 31, 2008) has a neat questionnaire that will help you decided if you are being scammed. The questions alone will help alert you to clues of potential scamming.
Here are a couple of examples:
2. Did she ask you (or hinted) to send her money for one of the following:
* Apartment rent
* Visa or Tickets for trip to you
* Education
* Internet cafe expenses or/and telephone bills
* Illness in the family
* Anything else that asks for your financial support
5. Does her street address contain: “Lenin street”, “Lenina street” or “Sovetskaya street” ?
If you are communicating with a supposedly Russian woman and want to know if you might be being scammed, this free quiz is a “must do.”
You know about American ingenuity? Well, how about those Russians? Look what this floral company came up with to help those who might be getting scammed by purported Russian women:
Interview with Dmitry Peregudov, RussianFlora.com
Andrey Malygin: Dmitry, as a Head of RussianFlora.com please tell us more about your company.
Dmitry Peregudov: RussianFlora.com was established in 2002. We started [flowers and gifts] delivery services 6 years ago; started with Moscow and then spread [services] through other towns in Russia and Ukraine. Today we deliver to more than 1000 cities and towns on the territory of ex-USSR countries and Eastern Europe.
Andrey Malygin: What was the reason for starting anti-scam services?
Dmitry Peregudov: During the first 2-3 years in business we started to note that approximately one of every 20 orders was sent to the address without intended recipient – the person was either not living there, or wasn’t ever seen [by couriers]. It could happen in various cities: in Volgograd, Moscow or Melitopol – in any city. In fact, it was typically like this – a courier arrives to deliver flowers (or gifts, or even money), and flowers were received by some other person; not the intended recipient. This situation led us to the conclusion that we are, somehow, helping some people who are trying to earn money by scamming Americans [men]. That’s why we offered another service that is very helpful for the [foreign brides] online dating industry.
The service is called RussianScamCheck.org. The main idea of this site is to help our clients to check if their contact [foreign lady] isn’t a fake. I’ll describe it. A man meets a woman in Internet and she sends him a fantastic, gorgeous photo of herself. The man, sure enough, is very happy to see that she is so sweet and good looking, and he is also interested to see her in real life. But a ticket for flying abroad is expensive, or he doesn’t have much free time for this – in any case, he isn’t sure that this woman is real and not a ‘fake profile’. So, he can use RussianScamCheck.org service – for $40-$59 depending on options. Basically, for $40 our courier delivers one beautifully wrapped rose, with a message on a card to the woman of client’s concern. If the girl exist, she opens the door and gets rose and a card, shows us some piece of ID and signs the acknowledgement of receipt. For an additional small charge, courier also makes a photo of this woman and we send it to the client.
Andrey Malygin: With permission from the woman, right?
Dmitry Peregudov: Yes, of course. We can’t make a photo without woman’s permission. The whole service gives an opportunity for the client to check whether, first of all, the woman really lives on the provided address, and, secondly, if she is really the person she claims to be. The client can also check the resemblance of real woman with her photo.
Andrey Malygin: Do you have any statistics regarding such scam checks?
Dmitry Peregudov: In each case we make thorough analysis and, based on its results, we provide some advice in a form of email, where it is stated that there is a certain % of probability that examined person is a scammer.
We also have a special anti-scam quiz. Clients answer a series of questions and receive a probability report. If chances are higher than 50% – we recommend conducting a scam check. And in this case clients can make a more thorough check. Approximately 80% of all scam checks we conduct lead to scammers of different kinds. While the other 20% are absolutely normal people, who then become recipients for the gifts and flowers of our clients.
This sounds SO ridiculous to me: Getting matched based on your DNA? Come on,now, folks. What does your DNA have to do with love and attraction and long-term relationships? Don’t get sucked into this one.
From the Washington Post:
Ok, We Have Our First DNA-Based Dating Service: GenePartner
Tuesday, July 22, 2008; 1:48 AM
It was only a matter of time before someone launched a dating site that looks for potential matches based on DNA compatibility. That time is apparently today with the launch of GenePartner (ok, it’s not the first, but it’s the cheapest).
The Switzerland-based company says they can use a $199 DNA test (compare to $1,000 for 23andMe) to help you find your perfect match, statistically speaking. They’ve analyzed “hundreds of couples” and have determined the genetic patterns found in successful relationships. Based on their algorithm and your DNA, they’ll determine the probability for a satisfying and long-lasting relationship between two people (color me skeptical).
What about romance? Chemistry? That certain je ne sais quoi when you meet someone and get a tingling sensation in your stomach? Forget it. The future of dating is DNA tests and buccal swabs, so get used to it:
A brush for collecting your DNA sample from your saliva ? called a buccal swab kit ? will be sent to your address. Following the simple instructions included with the kit you will gently collect the DNA from the inside of your cheek. Use the addressed envelope supplied for returning the brushes.
GenePartner is looking to partner with dating sites and have those services encourage users to see if they’re a DNA match.
Will they be able to avoid tough emerging U.S. laws around genetic testing? Well, they’re in Switzerland. My guess is they’re not going to be too worried about California and other state laws prohibiting their service.
From the Roanoke Times:
What your DNA can (and can’t) tell you about you
Mehmet and Mike are happily married. No, not to each other. To two wonderful ladies (one each, of course). But if they weren’t and they lived, say, near Boston, a peculiar dating service might arouse their curiosity.
For $1,995.95, a company called ScientificMatch.-com claims that if you crack open its special kit, rub a cotton swab on the insides of your cheeks and ship the swab to its lab, that the company will use the DNA it collects to find your soul mate.
The company examines the genes that relate to your immune system—technically, the genes in your major histocompatibility complex—to match you with another member of the dating service who has a very different MHC makeup.
Studies suggest that people are more likely to feel that romantic lightning-in-a-bottle called “chemistry” when they have genetically dissimilar immune systems. (One theory suggests that blending diverse genes gives children stronger immune systems, so it’s an evolutionary advantage.)
This matchmaking venture is just one of dozens of consumer-based genetic testing services that have popped up in recent years. Many others promise to look into your DNA and tell you whether you’re susceptible to certain medical disorders. For about $1,000 and up (not covered by health insurance), services such as 23andMe, Navigenics, Genelex, deCODE Genetics and others will scan your DNA for gene markers linked to heart disease, Alzheimer’s, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, certain cancers and more. Other tests claim to identify nutritional deficiencies and then provide diet advice.
Beyond these pricey services, many over-the-counter DNA test kits are now sold in drugstores for as little as $30. Send in your swab and, for an additional $200 and up, they’ll test your DNA for markers of lupus, sickle cell anemia, depression, glaucoma, celiac disease, cystic fibrosis, high blood iron ... the list goes on.
Are they legitimate? In the case of romantic bliss, we have seen the studies linking diverse MHC with sexual attraction in animals and humans.
But we also know that these limited studies—like nearly all research involving genetic testing—probably reveal only a tiny part of a complex process that nobody truly understands yet. So we’d take any advice from ScientificMatch.com (or any other personal DNA-mapping or -matching service) with a grain of salt the size of a Volkswagen.
Gene testing is an amazing tool. Mapping the human genome has yielded powerful new weapons against cancers of the breast, ovaries, colon, prostate and others.
In fact, we have colleagues who refer people for testing for the BRCA 1 and 2 breast-cancer genes every week. For adopted children, gene testing may be the only way to acquire valuable medical information. These tests are conducted by certified laboratories and interpreted by physicians who can help patients decipher and use the findings.
Also, while research has identified genes that contribute to about 1,400 diseases or disorders, so far most of these provide only preliminary clues. And with certain diseases, such as Alzheimer’s, genetic mutations don’t always mean you’ll get a disease. So you really need a counselor help you interpret the results.
The Food and Drug Administration doesn’t regulate the quality of the counseling you get after using one of these consumer DNA tests. These kits could give you helpful information, or leave you feeling falsely safe or needlessly scared. Before trying one, start with these steps:
n Thoroughly discuss your family medical history with your doctor, going back to your grandparents. This can yield vital information. Counselors should ask for this history; if they don’t, you need a different laboratory and counselor.
n If you decide to go ahead, be sure that the company keeps your test results confidential. A recent federal law prohibits job or health insurance discrimination based on genetic tests, but we’re still in uncharted legal territory.
n Review the test results with your doctor or a certified genetic counselor (ask your doc for a referral), not just a rep from the testing company, especially before buying pricey supplements or additional services.
Comment on posting on OnlinePersonalsWatch:
When you take a healthy objective and critical look at these claims of “chemistry” related to DNA matching, one quickly realizes that there’s nothing substantive there to back them up. In fact, some companies have no grasp of the very research they tout to justify their methods.
However, my team has volunteered pro bono to conduct a real-world test of at least one company’s claims. The double-blind experiment would then be submitted for academic publication. It’s disappointing, but not that surprising, that this particular company desperately avoided this offer.
Interested reporters are encouraged to contact me for full details.
As an industry insider and respected compatibility researcher, my professional opinion is that consumers should stay away from DNA dating (and save money on these costly services) until real-world validation studies on their services prove they actually predict relationship quality.
Thanks,
James Houran, Ph.D.
OnlineDatingMagazine.com
As far as I am concerned, I can never warn you too much about scamming. You have to pay attention when you are dating, online or otherwise. It is all too easy to let what you want to happen get in the way of what actually is going on. Here’s an article from ConsumerAffairs.com that says it all again, with some good guidelines that I have put in bold.
Love’s Labors Looted: Internet Dating Scams Can Get Expensive
Organized crime preys on the lonely; sites don’t check backgrounds
By Joseph S. Enoch
ConsumerAffairs.com
July 28, 2008
Like so many others who go looking for love on Internet dating sites, Annette was lonely.
She thought she had found the answer to her loneliness when in early March, Eharmony.com matched her with John, a fair-skinned 41-year-old Christian building engineer from California.
The only problem was that he was working on a project in Nigeria, but would be back in the U.S. soon with his daughter, Hailey.
John was everything a lonely woman could want. He was attentive, sent lots of text messages and e-cards and even called Annette’s cell phone. He even said he was a millionaire.
Everything was fine until John said the customs agents at the airport in Nigeria confiscated his luggage for a week containing his $45,000 in travelers’ checks, he told Annette. He just needed $1,300 to get him and his daughter by for a week. Annette didn’t think twice about helping the man of her dreams.
But John’s situation worsened by the day after that. His luggage was stolen, his daughter was kidnapped, they were ambushed by thugs and by the end of it all in June, Annette had wiped out her life savings by wiring $36,300 – not to mention $733 in wire transfer fees—to Nigeria.
John kept pushing until she had nothing left to give, said Annette’s brother, Warren, who spoke on the condition that he and his sister’s full identities would not be published for fear of shaming their family. Warren spoke for Annette because she was too embarrassed to be interviewed by ConsumerAffairs.com over the phone.
In saved chats Annette provided, John wooed her by calling her cutesy names and making promises of a life together. Despite his terrible grammar and her hesitancy later in their relationship, she still gave him everything he wanted.
“Honey,i just wanted you to know the sitaution here is getting worse and i’ve negotiated with the man that brought me back to Africa,” John wrote. “He said i should bring the sum of $2600 before i would be able to sign the document belonging to my house. ... Honey i know i’m causing you alot of stress but i want to promise you this problem i’m facing here will end in time. ... I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Hailey.”
He repeatedly promised he would pay her back in full with interest.
John made repeated comments about “God” and “going to church.”
God will provide
“I believe the almighty God will see both of us through,” he wrote.
When she balked at his requests, John would say, “If you don’t give me the money, it means you don’t love me,” Warren said.
Although Annette’s case may be the most extreme, it’s not the first. ConsumerAffairs.com has received at least 20 complaints from consumers who fell or nearly fell for scammers they met on online dating sites.
“I met someone whom I thought was special and he turned out to be a con artist from Nigeria who asked me for $300,” Minerva of Long Beach, Calif. wrote. That was not an isolated incidence. “These predators contacted me about eight different times on Match.com, but I learned from the first one.”
In October 2006 ConsumerAffairs.com published the story of Eduard of Mantua, N.J. who wired $13,000 to a woman in France he met online.
Mark Brooks, editor of the Internet dating publication, OnlinePersonalsWatch.com and a consultant for the industry, said every dating Web site has problems with scammers from all over the world.
“This is organized crime,” Brooks said. “This is not necessarily individuals out there. They are targeting lots of different industries, but idating is one of them. They have it down to a science – knowing what threshold people will take.”
Organized crime
Many of these scammers work together to create enormous fraud rings and share data on how best to scam people, said Scott Olson, vice president of marketing for iovation, a company that tracks computers so that Web sites can block devices that have a history of being connected with fraud.
“We’ve seen fraud rings that have hundreds of accounts per device that they basically are repeating their scams over and over again with many different people,” Olson said. “These are organized fraud rings that do this as a big business. They have a formula very much like telemarketing where they have a script.”
Brooks said he has spoken with many consumers who have been the victim of fraud on Internet dating sites.
“You look at these cases and you think ‘how could anybody be daft enough to part with so much money?’ But one only needs to talk to these victims one on one to realize that these are vulnerable people and these people open up their hearts and minds to meeting new people and trusting Internet dating sites with these very precious things,” Brooks said.
Scammers sometimes take several months to develop relationships before they start asking for money, Brooks said.
“They’re very good at pulling on the heartstrings,” Brooks said. “They want to get as much emotional connection with their victim as quickly as possible so they can convert them to whatever scam they want to. The main thing is that they want to open up the wallet as soon as possible and as soon as they have the wallet open for any amount ... then they know they can extend that and they can keep upping the ante.”
Besides Nigeria, Brooks said Russia is also on the cutting edge of online date site fraud.
“The males tend to fall for the picture of the beautiful Russian woman and they get to the stage that they want to fly her into the country, she can’t buy a ticket on her side ... so he’ll spring a thousand plus dollars to fly her from Russia, (he waits) at the airport and no one shows up,” Brooks said. “That’s a very common scam.”
Eharmony.com’s vice president of marketing, Fiona Posell, said the company is not responsible for any money its consumers lose to scammers that Eharmony.com matches them up with.
“We are very clear with our users, but ultimately it’s their responsibility and with many things, finding a relationship is an emotional experience and judgment can be clouded and that’s why we tell them to follow the guidelines we give them,” Possell said.
According to Eharmony.com’s Web site, customers should avoid those who:
• Ask for money
• Ask inappropriate questions
• Want to speed up the pace beyond the user’s comfort level
• Tell stories with inconsistencies, some which may sound grandiose
• Give vague answers to specific questions
• Urge consumers to compromise their principles
• Constantly blame others for troubles in his or her life
• Insist on getting overly close, overly fast
• Ask for the user’s login or password information
Eharmony.com relies on its network of 20 million users to turn in those who break the rules so representatives can remove them, Posell said.
In the case of “John,” Eharmony.com discovered he was using a stolen credit card 15 days after he signed up and notified Annette three days later on March 14, three days before she wired John the first loan of $1,300, Posell wrote in an e-mail.
“This is a very unfortunate, very unusual case and we feel really bad about it,” Posell said.
No background checks
Eharmony.com clearly states on its Web site that it does not perform background checks.
“There is no way to do that with complete certainty that it can be done in a way that wouldn’t convey to our users some sort of safety net that we can’t provide,” Posell said. “It’s very hard to perform a background check on an individual to the extent that you would want to. We are very clear that we don’t do that.”
Some Web sites do offer background checks, but Brooks agreed with Posell that most background checks would be costly with little increase in safety.
“They inspire a false sense of security, they don’t really work that well and they kind of cost a lot,” Brooks said.
A very basic background check costs about $10, Brooks said but warned that most scammers would still be able to get around that layer of security.
“If you did a real background check that actually did sophisticated phone verification and friend verification and other things like that, it would be so cost prohibitive the industry couldn’t even exist,” Brooks said.
Everyone ConsumerAffairs.com interviewed for this story said consumers should never give any money to anyone they meet online and that’s why Warren said he doesn’t completely blame Eharmony.com for what happened to Annette.
“Ultimately, it’s my sister’s fault,” Warren said. “I believe people should take personal responsibility. Maybe (Eharmony.com) was a bit too lax, but at the end of the day, we should all be grown ups. ... We should be smart enough, mature enough and wise enough not to fall for these things.”
Now, if the following piece isn’t enough to put you off those millionaire sites, I don’t know what is. This guy was able to swindle eight women by posing as a music mogul. It seems pretty clear that these women assumed that the guy was telling the truth. Likely, that he had presented himself as rich and that these women were looking for rich (since both were listed on MillionaireMatch) blinded these ladies. The guy was HOMELESS. They sent the money to his ex-wife’s address! A simple background search would have alerted a wise single.
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Homeless man gets more than $100,000 from online conquests
By Sofia Diogo Mateus
Last updated: 1:17 PM BST 05/06/2008
A homeless man posing as a millionaire was arrested for scamming 13 women for more than $100,000.
Through the website MillionaireMatch.com, Paul Kruger, 50, met and convinced eight women that he was a Grammy-nominated music mogul who had worked with Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones, amongst others.
He met the other five alleged victims through one of the women he met on the website.
Later he said needed money for a CD and DVD manufacturing investment, for which the women sent him a total $102,000.
One of the victims was even shown a false stock reports, the court heard, since the operation apparently involved group investment in stock options.
“He did have a good story,” said one victim, a sales manager in Costa Mesa, Calif., who records show gave him $10,000.
The website, which describes itself as the “number one dating site for succesful singles and admirers”, is free and unregulated and anyone can join and claim to be a millionaire, simply by saying that they win $150,000 or more annually.
Steve Kasper, the marketing vice president of Successfulmatch.com, the parent company of MillionaireMatch.com, both bases in Toronto, said it was up to users to self-police.
“We do tell all of our members on all of our sites that you have to take precautions when you’re on the Internet and looking at people that you’re going to meet,” he said.
Charges were filed in Souderton, Pennsylvania, because that is where he told women to send him money; it is also the address of the home of his ex-wife, authorities said.
The money was used to fuel his gambling addiction, since he had various VIP casino accounts, authorities said.
Mr Krueger declined to comment to reporters as he was arraigned on charges of theft by unlawful taking or disposition, theft by deception, deceptive or fraudulent business practices and Pennsylvania Securities Act violations.
The Californian woman said she was willing to be a witness but that the experience had not put her off online dating.
“You have to be careful whereever you go,” said the woman, who is in her 30s. “You could get scammed meeting someone at a bar. It doesn’t matter. You just have to do your due diligence, and I didn’t.”
Anyone who reads my blog or newsletter *eMAIL to eMATE* knows that I am constantly harping about safety. While I don’t think scamming is as much of a problem as most folks think, still, you are the only one who can protect you. Being educated is the first line of defense. Reading what I have posted here on this blog is a great place to start your education. I’ve also started developing products to help you get informed, the distilled, “nitty-gritty” about scamming (and lying!) in cheap ($1 each) easy to digest bites: My One Page $1 Wonders.
I’ve also located a great resource for singles concerned about their safety: AssetSearchPros.com Asset Search Pros has offered an excellent deal for my Find-a-Sweetheart readers and clients: A big 25% discount on all their search packages! Yea! We like deals!
To get you to make yourself just that much safer, all you have to do to take advantage of AssetSearchPros.com’s offer is to buy one or more of my One Page $1 Wonders. After your purchase, you’ll get a followup email with a promotional code that you will use on the AssetSearchPros.com’s site for your selections there. Is that a deal or what?
AssetSearchPros sent me the following description about background searches that will help you figure out if they are something you can use. You might want to think about having a search done on yourself. After all, someone you are dating could easily do a search on YOU. Shouldn’t you be aware of what might come up?
The Value of a Dating Background Check
Online dating is the fastest growing method for singles who are looking for compatible partners. Whether a person is in their 20’s and just looking for someone to “hang out with” or is older and seeks a “serious relationship”, online dating is the preferred method of millions of people.
Companies such as Match.com, eHarmony, and PlentyofFish provide information on millions of profiles, and sustain business by enrolling hundreds of thousands of new members every year. While it is exciting to find someone whose profile appears compatible with yours, remember that all information is provided by the member themselves. Each member understandably portrays themselves in the best light. Who hasn’t wanted to shave a few pounds of extra weight off of their waistline or deduct a year or two from their actual age? Doesn’t every 41 year old have a better chance of meeting “Mr. Right” when they say that they are 39?
While it is never a good idea to lie when you are looking to build a long-term, trusting relationship, some convenient fudging might be excusable, like height and weight. But perverts, predators, rapists and murders have equal access to computers and dating sites. While online dating is “safe” and impersonal while you are behind a computer and emailing someone, there comes the time when you actually meet your online partner. How do you know that they are in reality who they claim to be?
A Dating Background Check is an inexpensive method to verify information that you have received. While it can seem minor that someone tries to cover over a few gray hairs or denies owning a herd of cats, information regarding current marital status, financial and legal problems are important, and will be revealed by having a Background Check from a service provider such as Asset Search Pros.
Here are some frequently asked questions and recommendations from our clients.
Q: I just met my date for the first time. We had a cup of coffee. When we discussed jobs and families, he told me that he had just moved to the area and didn’t really know anyone. How do I know he was telling me the truth?
A: We would recommend our Bronze Peace of Mind background check package. It is priced at less than $20 and will verify the name, and possible aliases, as well as current and previous addresses.
Q: I am in my fifties and am just starting to try to meet someone after my spouse died. What kind of things should I be wary of?
A: You need to be protect your personal finances. You may be self-sufficient in the area of money, but in today’s society, many people have had financial reversals. Some of these people are victims and some are guilty of fraud. You don’t want yourself and your children to lose everything to someone who has bankruptcies or court ordered judgments against them. If you should get married, remember, you could become liable for their debts. We recommend our Silver Peace of Mind background check for only $39. It is a small price to pay to discover any public information financial records including bankruptcies, tax liens and property ownership. This package also includes the name and address information provided in the Bronze package.
Q: I am a single mom with two teenage daughters. I just met the most wonderful man. He told me he has children, but doesn’t have much contact with them. How can I know that he is on the up and up?
A: Although it is exciting to meet someone, our children’s safety must be our major priority. Asset Search Pros has access to nationwide criminal databases. We specialize in obtaining names of convicted sex offenders. Our Golden Peace of Mind background check is available for $59 and includes searches for criminals and sex offenders. The package also includes the financials and other information provided in the Bronze and Silver packages.
Q: The person that I have been dating says he has never been married before. He always avoids looking me in the eyes when he talks about his past. He makes good money, but never seems to pay for his share of the expenses on our dates. Things just seem fishy. Any recommendations?
A: Many of us have things in our past that we are not proud of and are reluctant to reveal. Still, it is better to learn as much as you can about someone before a major surprise comes at you unexpectedly. There could be financial problems or a past criminal conviction. He could have been married before and the reason he is not paying for your dates is the fact that he has court-ordered child support garnishments. There are steps you can take to verify the information he provided. One of the simplest, most economical and accurate methods is to purchase our Platinum Peace of Mind dating background check. It is only $89 and will provide information for: Nationwide criminal convictions, sex offender search, previous marriages, maiden name, bankruptcies, tax liens, civil judgments, possible aliases, extensive address history, property ownership and property values, vehicle ownership, professional licenses, and business ownerships.
All of these packages are available by going to http://www.assetsearchpros.com and clicking on the button “Dating Background”. Just click on Dating Background Check packages and you will see the description of each package. There is a convenient shopping cart for your benefit.
In Internet dating, the caveat is always “Buyer beware!” and here is another good example of why. I haven’t the vaguest idea why any millionaire would list on a dating site like MillionaireMatch.com, or why anyone would believe the riches story. But clearly folks do—believe, I mean. Remember the other adage, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.” Underlines below are mine.
Homeless man gets more than $100,000 from online conquests
By Sofia Diogo Mateus
A homeless man posing as a millionaire was arrested for scamming 13 women for more than $100,000.
Through the website MillionaireMatch.com, Paul Kruger, 50, met and convinced eight women that he was a Grammy-nominated music mogul who had worked with Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones, amongst others.
He met the other five alleged victims through one of the women he met on the website.
Later he said needed money for a CD and DVD manufacturing investment, for which the women sent him a total $102,000.
One of the victims was even shown a false stock reports, the court heard, since the operation apparently involved group investment in stock options.
“He did have a good story,” said one victim, a sales manager in Costa Mesa, Calif., who records show gave him $10,000.
The website, which describes itself as the “number one dating site for succesful singles and admirers”, is free and unregulated and anyone can join and claim to be a millionaire, simply by saying that they win $150,000 or more annually.
Steve Kasper, the marketing vice president of Successfulmatch.com, the parent company of MillionaireMatch.com, both bases in Toronto, said it was up to users to self-police.
“We do tell all of our members on all of our sites that you have to take precautions when you’re on the Internet and looking at people that you’re going to meet,” he said.
Charges were filed in Souderton, Pennsylvania, because that is where he told women to send him money; it is also the address of the home of his ex-wife, authorities said.
The money was used to fuel his gambling addiction, since he had various VIP casino accounts, authorities said.
Mr Krueger declined to comment to reporters as he was arraigned on charges of theft by unlawful taking or disposition, theft by deception, deceptive or fraudulent business practices and Pennsylvania Securities Act violations.
The Californian woman said she was willing to be a witness but that the experience had not put her off online dating.
“You have to be careful whereever you go,” said the woman, who is in her 30s. “You could get scammed meeting someone at a bar. It doesn’t matter. You just have to do your due diligence, and I didn’t.”
The United States Embassy in Moscow clearly gets frequent reports about US citizens who are victims of Russian based dating scams. Here’s what the Embassy has put out in response, good advice no matter what country you are dealing with:
Internet Dating Scams
The U.S. Embassy receives reports almost every day of fraud committed against U.S. citizens by Internet correspondents professing love and romantic interest. Typically, the Russian correspondent asks the U.S. citizen to send money or credit card information for living expenses, travel expenses, or “visa costs.” The anonymity of the Internet means that the U.S. citizen cannot be sure of the real name, age, marital status, nationality, or even gender of the correspondent. The U.S. Embassy has received many reports of citizens losing thousands of dollars through such scams. American citizens are advised never to send money to anyone they have not met in person.
The internet dating scams include some common elements:
* Misrepresentation about the costs and requirements of a U.S. visa,
* Claims that they must buy airline tickets only in Russia,
* Use of professional models’ photos gleaned from internet web sites,
* Sudden financial hurdles to leaving Russia,
* Requests to send money only through a specific company,
* A scan of a (usually fraudulent) U.S. visa to prove intent to travel.
Please keep in mind that, while the U.S. Embassy in Moscow does not have the authorization to initiate investigations of these scams, the Fraud Prevention Unit can verify the authenticity of any U.S. visa via e-mail at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). In addition, complete and authoritative information on applying for a U.S. visa is available on the Department of State’s webpage on Visa Information for Temporary Visitors.
Even the post office puts out guidelines to help you detect a scam:
Love Losses
Learn the warning signs:
* They say they are located in a foreign country and they have a check or money order in U.S. dollars that they can’t cash. But there’s no real reason why they couldn’t use the financial services in their own country to cash it.
* They claim to have a medical emergency or some other problem and ask you to help by cashing a check or money order.
* They promise to come to the U.S. to be with you, but they need you to cash a check or money order to cover travel expenses.
* Only cash a check or money order for a close relative, someone you have actually met in person or someone you have known for a long period of time. You will be responsible if the check is phony.
Once I started writing about scams, I saw it everywhere. Even in the advice columns. Here’s a letter in “Annie’s Mailbox” that appeared in our local paper on 4/16. While it is not about Internet dating scams per se, the writer does describe the oh-so-typical Nigerian scam. The “Annie’s” writers give some good resources. I’ve been writing about scamming for all of you singles out there who are looking for love online. You want to stay safe, and I want to help. If you are looking for specific answers to you questions about scamming, go take a look at my One Page $1 Wonders.
Dear Annie: In the past month, I have received three e-mails from different people asking me to send a deposit and they will forward a winning lottery ticket to me. In exchange for cashing it for them, I will get a portion of the money. One letter said I had won a contest from Chevron, but the address was from Nigeria.
I know these are scams, but I’m sure there are a few people who might fall for them. What do I do with these e-mails? — Palmdale, Calif.
Dear Palmdale: Report them to the Federal Trade Commission. Most such scams involve people claiming to be Nigerian officials or surviving spouses of former government officials, who very politely offer to give you money if you will help them transfer funds out of the country.
You are then asked to provide your bank account number and some money to cover legal and transaction fees. You may even be encouraged to travel to Nigeria or a border country to complete the transaction. Sometimes, the con artists will produce fake money to verify their claims.
According to the State Department, people who have responded have been beaten, subjected to threats and extortion, and in some cases, murdered. And, of course, there is a stream of excuses why there was never any transfer of funds to your account.
If you receive an e-mail from someone claiming to need your help getting money out of another country, do NOT respond. Forward it to the FTC at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). If you have lost money to one of these schemes, call your local Secret Service field office (listed in the Blue Pages of your telephone directory). To file a complaint or get information, visit ftc.gov or call 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357).
What kind of people are most vulnerable to Internet dating scams?
According to Alan Prince, who writes a blog on internet dating scams:
1. Elderly people and other lonely groups: Elderly women and men looking for companionship are believed to be especially vulnerable to the romance scams.They are believed to be soft at heart,and willing to part with their money in return for romantic affection and attention. Other lonely groups of people are also a prime target. Their loneliness makes them to be in need of some form of company,which may not be readily available around them in their immediate environment and which the scammers readily provide.
2.Separated women,recently divorced women and the like are easy targets of the scammers. The trauma of their divorce or separation makes them vulnerable to internet love scams. The scammers hunt on various dating sites for women like these,often sifting through thousands of profiles in the process.
3.Overweight people:these set of people are about the easiest to target and to scam,according to the scammers. It appears some overweight people need someone to admire them and to love them the way they are. And it also appears that a number of them are insecure emotionally.Maybe as a result of this, some overweight women seem to do anything to hold on to a man,even if they do not know if he is for real. It appears that it is their sense of insecurity and their need for acceptance that is often exploited to get money of them.
4.People Looking For Sex: Many adult websites are a special target of the scammers.The scammers show nude pictures of themselves and pretend to engage in sexual acts with the persons they meet on the site. Usually,the people scammed through adult sites never disclose that they were scammed or they keep their losses to themselves. All who lost money to scams through this means declined to give figures of how much they were scammed of when interviewed.
People living with AIDS, and differently-abled people are also a target of the scams.
Men are not immune from being scammed. Here’s advice from a site call Russian Women Blacklist, with both hints on how to identify a possible scam as well as how to protect yourself:
Avoiding being scammed is, in fact, easy.
The simple rule of thumb is: DO NOT SEND MONEY.
Men who end up being scammed manage to ignore numerous red flags on their way in.
Anyway, here are a few thoughts you might find useful:
• All services on this site, as well as any other reputable dating service, ARE FREE FOR WOMEN. Internet access in Russia is more or less affordable these days to anyone. Quite a few people have computers at home, even more at work. Even if a girl has to use an internet cafe of a kind, the fees there would not be so unbearable, that she has to ask you to sponsor her correspondence if she is interested in corresponding with you.
• Be realistic. Unless you are a rich movie/pop/sports star, it is rather unlikely that a model looking girl will fall deeply in love with you right after your first letter.
This is NOT serious relationship you are looking for
Plots mainly utilized by scammers are not so many
a) A US visa is hard to get, but there is a tourist agency that has connections with the US consulate and the problem can be taken care of for $1000.
No matter how much of your $1000 the ‘tourist agency’ is willing to pay at the consulate/embassy, this just CANNOT be enough to bribe the consul.
Unless you have a senator friend who can personally call the embassy, practically the only way for a single girl to get into the US is by means of FIANCEE VISA you have to apply for. You do not have to marry a girl you invited on a fiancee visa, you can apply for as many visas as you wish later, as long as it is one at a time.
b) After you get the first very promising response from a girl, she disappears for a week, then comes up with a tragic story: father (mother) needs money for urgent heart surgery, or she (her father) has been in a road accident and the mob now wants $$$ in damages or she (her kid sister) is to become a sex slave to a mafia boss, or she has lost her job, or a combination of the above.
The possibility of such a story to be true is very low. Moreover, it is very unlikely that a person has nobody but a resent Internet acquaintance to ask for help when something bad does, in fact, happen. And, on top of that, it very unlikely that a good Russian woman would do so too. Use your discretion.
I’m always on the lookout for ways to keep singles safe in their search for love. Here’s a description of how a typical Internet dating scam works—
From hoax-slayer.com:
Internet Dating Scams
There are a great many quite legitimate dating service websites that allow members to establish online relationships. Often, these online friendships blossom into genuine long-term relationships. An increasing number of people have found life-partners via relationships started online.
Sadly however, scammers have managed to effectively exploit this trend to further their own nefarious ends. Many people around the world have been duped into sending money to Internet fraudsters posing as would-be girlfriends or boyfriends.
A typical Internet dating scam goes like this:
1. A person registers at an online dating service and creates a profile. The profile will include information, and possibly a photograph, of the person along with a way for interested people to make contact.
2. In due course, a scammer contacts the person posing as someone interested in exploring a possible romantic relationship.
3. The victim responds and the pair begins corresponding regularly. They may soon bypass the dating service contact system and start communicating directly, usually via email.
4. Over time, the scammer will slowly earn the trust of the victim. He or she may discuss family, jobs and other details designed to make the correspondent seem like a real person who is genuinely interested in the victim. Photographs may be exchanged. However, the “person” that the victim thinks he or she is corresponding with, is likely to be purely an invention of the scammer. Photographs may not even show the real sender. The victim’s apparent love interest may look completely different to the person in the photograph and, in reality, may not even be the same gender.
5. After the scammer has established the illusion of a genuine and meaningful relationship, he or she will begin asking the victim for money. For example. the scammer may claim that he or she wants to meet in person and ask the victim to send money for an airfare so that a meeting can take place. Or the scammer may claim that there has been a family medical emergency and request financial assistance. The scammer may use a variety of excuses to entice the victim to send funds.
6. If the victim complies and sends money, he or she will probably receive further such requests. With his or her judgement clouded by a burgeoning love for the scammer’s imaginary character, he or she may continue to send money.
7. Finally, the victim will come to realize that he or she has been duped, perhaps after waiting fruitlessly at the airport for a “lover” who, will, of course, never arrive.
8. Meanwhile, the scammer pockets the money and moves on to the next victim. In fact, the scammer may be stringing along several victims simultaneously.
In many cases, the victim will not only have lost out financially, but will also be left broken-hearted and thoroughly disillusioned. These scammers tend to pray on victims that may be especially lonely, shy or isolated and therefore more vulnerable.
There are a number of variations on the same basic scam. In some cases the scammers may be the one to create a profile on a dating site and wait for a potential victim to contact them. Typically, the profile will include a photograph of a very attractive young woman who will have no trouble attracting would-be suitors.
In other cases, the scammers may simply send out random unsolicited emails professing a desire to begin a relationship in the hope that some gullible recipients will favourably respond. Alternatively, they may strike up a conversation with a potential victim via an Internet chat room.
In some variations of the scam, the fraudsters may not ask for money directly. Instead, they may ask their victim to cash money orders or cheques and wire them the proceeds. The money orders or cheques will turn out to be fake or stolen and the victim will be left out of pocket and possibly held responsible for receiving stolen funds. The scammers may also try to trick victims into revealing sensitive information such as credit card numbers.
If you begin corresponding with a person with a view to a possible romantic relationship, remain cautious even if the relationship seems to be progressing very well. These scammers are very skilled at building trust and know how to make vulnerable victims fall in love with them. Regardless of the strength of your feelings towards a correspondent, you should view any requests for money as highly suspicious. If you do suspect a scam, you may be able to find information on a dating blacklist website such as the Russian women dating scam list . These sites publish information and photographs of known dating scammers. Internet dating scammers often used the same names, family details and cover stories in multiple dating scams. Therefore, you may be able to expose a scam by conducting Internet searches on the names used by the scammers or key phrases from their emails.
I just scanned a long report from Pew Internet & American Life Project which contained the following snippet specific to online daters:
From Pewresearch.com: Digital Footprints: Online Identity Management and Search in the Age of Transparency
9% of online adults say they have searched online for information about someone they are dating or in a relationship with. Perhaps due to safety concerns, online women tend to do their dating homework more than online men.
I frankly think that 9% is an underestimate, from what I have been hearing, especially from the ladies. Most routinely now Google prospective Internet generated dates. While the article really deals with managing online information about yourself, it’s worth a read. Regularly Googling yourself is just plain a good idea. And be ready to explain what comes up, even if some porn star has the same name as you. You’ll probably need to prove it somehow.
Michelle Singletary writes an excellent article about the “Sweetheart Swindle” of which all singles need to be aware. See below, I have underlined parts of the article that I think are particularly relevant.
Online dating scammers will tugat your heartstrings and wallets
By Michelle Singletary
Thursday, February 14, 2008
If you’re looking online for a sweetheart, beware: You may find a new meaning for the expression “money can’t buy love.”
The National Consumers League has issued a warning to people looking for love on the Internet to watch out for con artists whose only mission is to separate them from their cash.
“Scammers lurk in chat rooms and on online dating sites, attempting to earn someone’s affections and trust so that they can persuade him or her to send money,” said Sally Greenberg, executive director of the National Consumers League.
The league, a nonprofit consumer advocacy group, is calling such scams the “Sweetheart Swindle.” It’s a simple scheme, really. The con artist spends time nurturing a relationship. The goal of this online courtship, Greenberg said, is to eventually get the victim to repeatedly send cash.
Greenberg said the group’s Fraud Center only began tracking this type of scam last summer. However, it’s become so pervasive that the organization says it has moved into its top 10 list of scams. Last year the average lovesick victim lost more than $3,000, according to complaints logged at the center’s Web site (http://www.fraud.org).
The scams vary but the typical swindler will begin to weave a tale of how he (or she) has gotten into a financial jam, Greenberg said. Feeling sorry for their online lover, the victim eventually sends money.
In one case, a woman gave $35,000 to a man she met on Match.com, who claimed he was from her hometown of Kansas City, Mo. He said he worked as an engineer in Nigeria. For four months the two had long online exchanges, much like you have at the beginning of a courtship. He even sent her flowers and professed his love for her.
Then the man began requesting money to pay for medical care for his 11-year-old son, whom he claimed had a congenital heart condition.
It was all a con. Eventually the woman took out a second mortgage on her home to pay off the credit cards she used to get advances to send him money.
“I’m not a stupid woman,” she told me in an interview. “I have a master’s degree. I hold down a good job.”
But, she said, she felt sorry for the kid. “That was where my heart strings were.”
If you’re inclined to be harsh on these victims, don’t be so smug to think this couldn’t happen to you, Greenberg said.
“Scammers are really good at figuring out and preying on the vulnerabilities of the people they are scamming,” she said.
The Consumers League said if you want to avoid heartache from a sweet-talking swindler, look for these red flags:
* You are being asked for money.
* There is a confession of love soon after you begin communicating.
* The person claims to be a U.S. citizen who is living abroad. Or they pump up their professional credentials.
* The person wants you to help with their business or get involved in a business deal.
Greenberg advises that you give money only to someone you’ve met in person, have known for a long time and can truly trust.
I would suggest that you make it a personal money rule not to give or loan a significant amount of cash to anyone you’re romantically interested in.
If your honey needs money, look at the situation as an opportunity to see how he or she handles a financial crisis. When faced with an unplanned expense, does your Pookey have to resort to borrowing the money?
Step back from your emotions and you will gain some important information about a person you may view as a potential spouse.
I’m not saying never give any money to your boo (that’s the hip way of referring to your romantic companion). Of course, you will trade off paying for dates or transferring a little money between the two of you. But I want to emphasize it should be only a little money.
Whether you are dating in person or online, you should not be paying the person’s rent, car note or any other bill. Don’t give her money to get her hair done. Don’t lend or give him money to fix his car. These are all expenses that your sweetheart should be paying without your help.
And certainly don’t ever borrow money to help out your sweetie, no matter how desperate the situation seems. If they need financial assistance, help them find another resource.
Don’t get a cash advance on your credit card. Don’t take a loan against your 401(k). And for goodness sake, don’t borrow against your home.
Bailing out your boo is not an indication of your love. It’s an indication you’re dating someone who needs to budget or get another job (or a job) or move back home with his or her mama.
When I was researching the previous blog posting about the con man on Dr. Phil (“Faking it?”), I ran across this article on Phil’s site on how to spot a con man (or con woman). The tips are so good that I have reprinted them below. Every single ought to be well-verse in the attributes of a con:
Tips to Keep You Away From a Con Man
Con artists charm their way into a woman’s heart, lie to her, and too often, take her for all she’s worth. Candace Delong, former FBI Profiler and author, shares tips to keep you away from a con man.
Signs You’re Involved with a Con Artist:
* Pressure to get married.
Marriage is far too important in life to be rushed. Be wary of a wedding or proposal out of the blue. If a man makes you believe your marrying him is a matter of life or death — he’s up to something.
* Vague answers to questions about his past.
Always ask questions about your mate’s background or past. If he refuses to answer these questions, be suspicious. If he does answer the questions, and you wonder if he is telling you the truth, look up the information he gives you on the Internet.
* Questionable financial worth.
If a man brags about how much he is worth or claims to be broke because he is paying child support, that can be checked out also. Have him show you income tax records for several years before you merge finances. Always get proof if you aren’t sure. Also, be aware if he is always asking to borrow money.
* Lies about his age.
A man lying about his age is cause for concern. He may try to change the date because the real date of his birth is on a warrant for his arrest somewhere. If he claims that there was a mistake on his birth certificate, or his job made a mistake, he is lying. It’s illegal to change your birth date.
* Multiple social security numbers.
Having more than one social security number is illegal. If a man has more than one, he is using it to scam money or avoid the criminal justice system. If he claims to be a victim of identity theft, have him show you documentation.
What You Have and Do That Makes You Vulnerable to a Con:
* You have something worth getting.
These types of men are looking for a woman with something they can take. You don’t have to be wealthy or be an heiress to a huge fortune. If you have a job and a little bit of room on your credit card, this may attract him.
* Gullibility.
You have a willingness to believe anything the con artist is telling you. You may think you’re a good judge of character, but these guys are really slick. They start learning how to lie at age 3.
* Believing the grand gesture.
Willingness to interpret questionable behavior as love. For example, a man goes to a woman’s house when she is not there, gets her stuff and puts it in his place. This is not the loving gesture it might appear to be. For one thing, it’s theft. Secondly, it is meant to control her and get her in his world as soon as possible. Also, be wary if he proposes quickly in the relationship.
* Testing boundaries with money.
Usually, this occurs early in the relationship. For example, he may ask you out to dinner and when the check comes say, “Oh, honey, I left my wallet in the car.” Your response should be, “Oh, honey, I left mine at home.”
When we got our new satellite tv system, we got a dvd recorder as part of the package, like a Tivo, and boy, do I love it! Finally, like the answering machine tamed the telephone, the tv is now our servant, rather than it feeling the other way around.
I set it to automatically record various shows like Nova and Nature that we like—and also, Oprah and Dr. Phil. I don’t watch all of the Oprah and Phil shows, just delete those that have no interest. And frankly, a lot more of Oprah gets zapped. Because I fancy that Dr. Phil and I are in the same business and I like to see how he handles things. Sometimes he is good, a few times, very very good. Often so-so (I feel good in comparison), sometimes down-right bad. Then I can’t stand to watch and just zap the whole business.
What I have gotten the most from Dr. Phil has been accidental: I get to watch show after show of people lying and evading the truth, close up. Sometimes Phil does pretty well at pinning those folks to the wall. It is impressive.
If for no other reason than to train yourself to spot liars, watch Phil regularly. Very cheap and effective training.
The best show I have seen yet for “putting pathology right on the screen” was shown on 12/31/2007. Probably a pretty dead day for viewers, but I taped it and watched a few days later. If you want to see a character-disordered con man, super-slick, you have GOT to see this show. The show is called “Faking it?” There’s a writeup and slide show available online, but if I were you, I’d buy the video for $29 which you can through the website. It’ll be worth every penny. The skillfulness of this guy does not come through in the write-up.
Being about to spot character disorders was the most difficult part of mental health diagnosis for me. (I’m a professional therapist, have been for 30 years.) The short definition that works for me is that “Normal neurotics,” folks like most of us, feel too much responsibility and too much guilt. Those who are character disordered don’t feel enough responsibility or enough guilt. The jails are full of character disordered folks: “I didn’t do it.” Higher functioning character disordered folks can do very well in things like politics, even get elected president (or in present case, vice president).
If you can get a copy of this show, just watch Fred slip and slide, or at least try to, while he evades getting pinned down in lies and inconsistencies. Phil does pretty well keeping up with Fred, but you can tell that Fred simply doesn’t get Phil’s side of the discussion, he is so character disordered and convinced of his view of the world.
Then, for dramatic contrast, stay tuned for the second guest, Linda. While Linda too is a con and deeply disturbed, she is not character disordered. She knows what she does is wrong, feels guilt, and wants to change. Far different than the way Fred presents. As crazy as Linda’s behavior is, you can feel some empathy for her.
Not Fred. People like Fred make the rest of us feel crazy. They are master manipulators. Watch Fred carefully to see how a good one does it.
Hey, I’m always looking for helps for singles looking for love, and unfortunately, that means alerting you to scams and how to report. Here’s the meat of the matter…
Internet Scam Reporting
Mark Brooks, Online Personals Watch
Users who have been scammed should report the crime to the Internet Crime Complaint Center. Statistics on internet scamming are available here. Of those individuals who reported a dollar loss, the highest median losses were found among Nigerian letter fraud ($5,100), check fraud ($3,744), and other investment fraud ($2,695) complainants
Oooh, I hate seeing these scamming stories. I’d much rather post tales about happy couples, but alas, not all pairings are. Thank goodness, by far the most prominent are the successes, but there are folks out to get you, in all areas of life. In love, just as in every day, you need to keep your guard up and your brain engaged. This guy did not.
SA man ‘duped’ by internet dating, brother says
Fifty-six-year-old Desmond Gregor from Adelaide travelled to Mali last month to see a woman he met through the internet.
But after arriving, he was held for 12 days by people demanding a $100,000 ransom.
State and Federal Police worked with Mali national police to secure Mr Gregor’s release, by tricking the kidnappers into taking him to the Canadian embassy.
His brother, Phillip Gregor from Hoyleton, north of Adelaide, says Mr Gregor has learned his lesson.
“Definitely it was an internet romance, I guess you would call it, and certainly he was very taken by this and completely tunnel-visioned and couldn’t see the scam behind it,” he said.
“To him [it was] obviously very convincing but as soon as I had seen some of the material that was found at his place, anyone should have seen through it.”
Authorities in Mali want to question three men over Mr Gregor’s kidnap.
Mr Gregor is expected to arrive back home in Australia tomorrow.
More for your resource list on how to check up on potential dates…
Sites help with background check
Question: I am going to try online dating, with some trepidation. Can I use the Internet to check the men I meet online?
Answer: There are many free search options. Start with a general search, such as at Google.com, Yahoo.com or Live.com. Also look at social-networking sites, such as MySpace.com. Go to business sites, like Xing.com, Ecademy.com and Ryze.com. Look for inconsistencies. Court records can be illuminating. Start with the National Center for State Courts (Ncsconline.org). Many pay sites offer endless databases. Beware of “free” offers that are too good to be true. Such research is still specialized. If things are serious enough, consider hiring a private investigator.
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