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OnlineBootyCall does it again—horrid site with dreadful premise, but they do have a sense of humor over there.
“Men get a bad rap for leading women on when we’re really just not that into them,” but according to Moses Brown, Founder of Online Booty Call, “women play a part in it too. If the ladies would relax and read the obvious signals we give them, they’d understand that most of the time it’s nothing personal. I’m just not that into you.”
Here are the Top 10 indicators that your date is just not that into you:
10. He tells you he’s just not that into you
9. He tells you he isn’t ready to settle down into a relationship
8. Doesn’t give you a hug or a kiss goodbye
7. He doesn’t call and makes poor excuses like his cell phone died
6. He suggests you date one of his friends, or asks for one of your friend’s phone numbers
5. Shows up with his wife or girlfriend to the party you invited him to
4. You find him at the club showing off his moves to some other girl on the dance floor
3. He doesn’t want to come upstairs and says he has an early meeting
2. If he doesn’t know your last name, he’s really not that into you
1. If he doesn’t call to thank you after taking him to a Lakers playoff game, lets face it, he’s just not into you
Years ago, when I was practicing as a psychotherapist in a rural Maine town, I saw a man who was in trouble at work because he had been reported for running across a field in women’s lingerie. That wasn’t the worst of it: His job was driving truck for a major beer distributor, and the truck with the beer logo plastered all over it was sitting on the roadside by the field.
The message I gave him, and is repeated in the story below, was: Don’t mix your work life with your sexuality! Particularly if your work life is easily identifiable.
Mountie rapped for ad seeking transsexual date
Officer posed in red serge, said he sought relationships with transgendered Thais
Matthew Ramsey, The Province
Published: Sunday, April 13, 2008
A Lower Mainland Mountie has received informal discipline for posting a dating profile online, using a picture of himself in a red serge uniform, to find transgendered and transsexual mates.
“I am looking to meet mature Thai women who are interested in a sincere friendship that can develop into a LTR [long-term relationship] and possible marriage,” wrote “Dave” on the thaikisses.com site.
“Special interest towards TS [transsexual], TG [transgendered] women. Any nice Katoey women looking for a serious LTR.” “Katoey” is a Thai term that typically refers to male-to-female transgendered persons, commonly known in English as “ladyboys.”
Dave identified himself as a divorced 49-year-old from Vancouver who would travel the world if he won a lottery and likes the beach and TV.
He listed his qualities as “humorous, loyal, honest, attractive, realistic, quiet, tolerant, attentive, shy, friendly, sympathetic, fond of children, intelligent, romantic.”
“Dave" registered his profile on Sept. 3, 2006. Senior officers were not aware of the posting until late March.
Staff Sgt. John Ward told The Province it’s “totally inappropriate” for any member to use the RCMP uniform, insignia and their identification as an officer in the context of an online dating forum.
“Dave" has removed RCMP reference from the site, Ward noted.
The RCMP’s chief concern for members revealing their jobs on online social sites is operational, Ward said.
“You might be telling people where you work, who you are, what you are doing,” he said.
Ward declined to reveal any details about “Dave” except that he has been with the force for a “number of years” and his unit commander initiated the discipline process.
Shawnigan Lake RCMP Const. Trent Richards was ordered to resign in February after it was revealed he used plentyoffish.com, flirtbox.com and ratemybody.com to seek sexual partners while on shift. Richards also posted images of himself in the iconic red serge.
What would it be like to be in the early “in love” stage of a new relationship for YEARS? Have you notice either in yourself or others, that when someone falls in love and it is reciprocated, the couple usually sort of disappears for a year or two, blissfully and totally absorbed in each other? Then the newness wears off a bit and they resurface, both as a couple and individually.
Here’s the interesting story of a long married couple who tried staying within 15 feet of each other, even eating out of the same dish. Click here to watch them talk about their experience.
Interestingly, what they really missed was that since they had shared the same experience all day, there were no “So what did you do today?” stories to share at the end of the day.
While I don’t like OnlineBootyCall.com and their general premise (On their home page: “You have entered the most unique singles site on the net. Let’s face it; chances are you will never find your soul mate online. So don’t promise marriage just to get a date. Join OBC today for FREE!"), they do have a sense of humor and do not take themselves too seriously. What they do take seriously is having fun. See below the humor they get out of eHarmony’s latest booboo:
OnlineBootyCall.com: eHarmony Ends ‘One Night Stand’ With Walk of Shame
Thursday May 15, 8:00 am ET
SAN DIEGO, May 15 /PRNewswire/—Contradicting its marriage-oriented brand, eHarmony ventured into unfamiliar waters last week by releasing a newsletter titled “Navigating the One Night Stand.” The newsletter instructed singles how to engage in appropriate booty call etiquette, reminiscent of OnlineBootyCall.com’s playful advice in the Booty Call Commandments. The ensuing backlash from members forced eHarmony to take the proverbial “walk of shame” back to their community and issue an apology.
eHarmony’s misstep into the casual dating scene was a tacit recognition of the increasing influence of Americans who are opting to remain single and subscribe to non-traditional dating services. Despite eHarmony’s unwillingness to admit, people joining match making sites are not always looking for marriage. OnlineBootyCall.com, recognizing the special needs of this segment of the population, caters to proud singles who “enjoy being single.” “Let’s be honest, there’s a time in people’s life when they actively choose to be single. They want to enjoy that adventurous stage in their lives. Finding the right person isn’t a one shot, one kill process. You have to explore a bit,” added Moses (Mo) Brown, CEO and founder of OnlineBootyCall.com.
The New York Times(1) piece, “To Be Married Means to Be Outnumbered,” captured the crux of this issue, noting that “a growing number of adults are spending more of their lives single or living unmarried with partners.” US Census statistics also corroborate Brown’s statement, as major studies(2) show that the majority of households in the US are comprised of single, unmarried individuals.
With its usual tongue-in-cheek humor, OnlineBootyCall pokes more fun at eHarmony’s embarrassment by releasing its spoof of eHarmony’s marriage compatibility advertisements. The video parodies eHarmony’s compatibility speech, exposing the undertones of sexuality implicit in eHarmony’s coverage of the ‘one night stand.’
eHarmony has an advice section, pretty standard for the most part, but recently the boss was snoozing and a doozy of an article got sent out. eHarmony actually ended up retracting the story pronto and issued an apology. Here it is:
A Note from the Publisher
Last week, the eHarmony Advice site published a column called “Navigating the One-Night Stand” that was also included in the eHarmony email newsletter which reached many regular readers of our Advice site. The advice contained in this column was completely inconsistent with our editorial guidelines and the relationship service that we offer to our members. The day after sending the e-mail newsletter, I was made aware of the column and it was immediately removed from our site.
eHarmony is committed to helping its members find highly compatible, long-term relationships and I regret that the inappropriate content and tone of the column could lead our members to believe that we were not interested in their long-term relationship success. For nearly a decade, eHarmony has served its members very effectively by delivering matches that have resulted in tens of thousands of marriages. We apologize to anyone who read the column and found it inappropriate.
You deserve and expect the best from eHarmony and we are dedicated to providing information that resonates with our diverse, vibrant, and thriving community. Please be assured that we are immediately upgrading our editorial review process and are also reviewing our existing content to make sure that it is consistent with the interests of our members.
Stan Holt (bio) ()
Vice President, Publishing
And here’s the offending piece, which took some sleuthing to uncover (pun intended):
“Navigating the One Night Stand”
So you’re a swinging single and you’ve had a one-night stand. What’s the etiquette for establishing boundaries, calling the day after and getting out without hurting feelings?
While most of us are looking for that special someone to spend our lives with, the single life dictates that sometimes the opportunity for companionship presents itself in the form of a one-night stand. While a one-time roll in the hay isn’t exactly emotionally fulfilling, sex in any form can be relaxing, enjoyable, and fun.
So maybe it’s closing time and you haven’t found Mr. or Ms. Right. If you are up for it, you can enjoy a romp with Mr. or Ms. Right-for-the-night. But when you find yourself in a position to get lucky, you should heed a few rendezvous rules to ensure a seamless one-night-only performance.
Be Up Front
As consenting adults, it’s absolutely fine for both of you to do what makes you happy. The key is to make your intentions clear with your date and call it what it is: sex with no strings attached. Once both of you have appropriate expectations, you can appreciate the spontaneous lovin’ for what it’s worth.
Do the Safety Dance
Keep a cell phone with you, and if you can, tell your friends where you will be and your date’s name. Further, always use protection. Without the risk of sounding like a high school health teacher, protect yourself from STDs and pregnancy every single time to avoid lingering consequences.
Don’t Spend the Night
Unless invited, don’t sleep over. Snoozing together is too official, and it should be reserved for an established relationship. Gather up your belongings and make a respectful exit. Don’t try to leave a trail of personal “bread crumbs,” such as a wallet, a purse—or, worse, your unmentionables—as a gateway for a second meeting. Hanging around implies desperation, pegging you as the sad Clingy Clarissa or Hopeless Harry.
Don’t Call
One-nighters need not call or check up on the whereabouts of the person they shared the evening with. Acting as if your near-anonymous night of passion was a first date will just confuse sex with love.
Keep Your Mouth Shut
Don’t crow about your conquest or the amazing time you had with this lover to your friends like an adolescent.
One-night stands might solicit spontaneity and liberation, but you ought to know enough not to participate in short affairs unless you are capable of the detachment they require.
If you have the ability to live in the moment and not demand a long-term relationship afterward, then you are golden.
More humor from OnlineBootyCall:
Booty Call Commandments:
I. Thou shalt get out before the sun rises
II. Thou shouldest never ask “can we see each other from now on?”
III. Thou shalt refrain from referring to our activities as “love making.”
IV. Thou shalt not request advanced plans.
V. Thou shalt kiss anything except my mouth.
VI. Thou shalt scream my name often
VII. If someone cometh over whilst thou art here, thou art my cousin from out of town.
VIII. Thou shalt not ask me to walk thee to thy car. Don’t thou knoweth what it looketh like?
IX. There shall be no “pillow talk.”
X. There shall be no cuddling—ever!
An amusing take on Internet dating cads, right out of Merry Old England:
Warning: don’t date these men!
a woman at a computer
When dating online, you’ll probably end up sifting through a lot of dodgy profiles before you find your perfect match. We’ve saved you the ground work and identified six toxic types you’ll meet on the web dating scene
The serial online dating addict
For the serial online dater (let’s call him S.O.D.), the novelty of the new date never wears off. You may think he’s going out with you, but he will never stop hunting for other women online. He’ll never love you as much as he loves the thrill of the online chase.
How to spot him
He’s probably been an active member of a dating site for many months, or even years. He seems to be online all the time. His photo is handsome and he’s open-minded about the kind of woman he wants. It’s not that he can’t get a date, it’s that he can’t get enough.
Sadly, the only real way to tell an S.O.D. is once you’re going out with him. A month or two in, he seems smitten. But he hasn’t taken his profile down, and he’s still logging in. You have to confront him, tell him it’s you or the website. A man who wants to keep you hanging on while he keeps his options open isn’t man enough for you.
The self-esteem leech
Nothing you do is ever good enough for this control freak. You spend hours making him a mix CD of your favourite songs, and he criticises your taste. You slave in the kitchen over a three-course meal, and he sneers at it like a restaurant critic. Dare to gain a couple of pounds, and you’ll get a lecture about carbs.
Do not give him the time of day. He demands perfection for you while failing to notice his own faults, and he expects you to share all his tastes rather than having a mind of your own.
How to spot him
A self-esteem leech is not easy to spot, because when he’s chasing you he’s devastatingly charming. It’s only once you’re ‘his woman’ that he’ll start to chip away at your confidence.
But once you’ve found the strength to dump him, you will quickly realise that you’re better off without him.
The computer dating gamer
The dating scene has always been full of game-players, but the online dating gamer is a special breed. He treats online dating like a computer game. He creates a profile that bears little relation to reality, and has hours of fun seeing how many ‘hits’ he can score.
He’ll enjoy flirting with you and whipping you into excitement, but will never meet you.
How to spot him
The gamer may give himself away through weird inconsistencies in his profile or emails. He’ll lose interest quickly and never meet you for an offline date.
The rebounder
A dumpee can be a very enthusiastic boyfriend. He’s grateful for your affection and desperate to prove to his ex that he’s happy without her. And that’s the point: it’s all about his ex, not you.
The rebounder still thinks about her first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He’ll never stop hoping for a reconciliation. If she offers any hint of hope, you won’t see him for dust.
How to spot him
He’ll probably fill his profile with veiled references to his heartache and not-so-veiled criticisms of his ex. ‘I’m looking for a woman who won’t slag off my clothes and make me spend weekends with her mother’ is the mark of a man who’s stuck in the past.
Don’t assume that separated or divorced men are rebounders. It takes time and courage to walk away from a marriage, so chances are he’s had a while to get over it.
The married man
Dating websites aren’t quite the adulterous knocking shops that some believe them to be. But online, just as in any bar, you’re bound to find men in search of some extra-marital pulling.
How to spot him
The biggest clue is the absence of a photo on his profile. He won’t include much personal info either, and when you start emailing he’ll neatly sidestep your questions.
He may want to meet up quickly rather than get caught up in a three-week email bonding session, and he’ll only see you at odd times, perhaps a bit of Wednesday afternoon delight or a weekday evening rendezvous.
He’s not keen on weekend dates, because he has other commitments. Like a wife and two kids!
The pretty boy
You say you want a man who is wise, witty and kind to animals. But when you’re browsing online profiles, you click on the ones with pretty faces. It’s human nature.
Worse, dating a guy who is better looking than you will leave you feeling insecure. You know that he can get any woman he wants, so you’ll always be looking over your shoulder. My tip: use him for sex and move on.
Love those bloggers. Cate Sevilla pokes fun at Internet dating…
Hot fuss: why is online dating still treated as though it’s mysterious and new?
Cate Sevilla writes…
Can we get over this whole “online dating” thing and stop calling it a phenomena? After its initial boom and mystery practically 10 years ago, why are we still freaking out about it? I suppose that it’s still technically new, and that the Internet and social networking and meeting people online is somewhat scary to the more conservative and the blessed technophobes.
However, surely mainstream media is a bit tired of analyzing the mystifying concept of online courtships? Between the “It’s dangerous! It could kill you!” forewarnings, the Bridget Jonesy “It’s so hard to find a nice bloke online” articles and books, why are we still *realizing* that its just as hard to meet The One online as it is in real life?
I’m not sure why people are still under the illusion that:
a) it’s easier to meet people online
b) tech savvy daters online don’t understand that most people lie or are exaggerating to some degree, because they do
c) if you meet someone online they will definitely try to kill you
d) it’s a good idea to meet someone you hardly know at their remote farmhouse in a forgien country because you talked on the phone once or twice and feel a *real connection*
Look, maybe I’m just used to being around bloggers, tech nerds, and people who spend more time indoors hunched over laptops than they do outside in the fresh air...but I just don’t understand the fascination any more. Sure, I think there are some news stories regarding online dating which are newsworthy. If you’re giving actual advice instead of just moaning and whinging about how you meet complete losers all the time and GOD WHERE IS HE ALL READY, that’s just boring. Online dating can be cool, but must we really mull over the same angles, news stories and columns every damn week?
Some new stories I’d like to see on the whole internet dating story or how the internet effects couples are the following:
-Couples who got married after meeting online: do you still email each other? Do you still refer to your husband as SexyIsBack343? Do you read all your old chat sessions together every anniversary and reminisce? Do you spice up your sex life with random acts of cyber sex, just to keep things interesting?
-Are you a parent who’s son or daughter who only dates people they find online? Are you concerned, or does it seem normal to you? Or are you too busy trying to wean your son of WoW to care how he meets girls, and are just happy he’s attractive to someone, somewhere?
-Are you the partner of a famous blogger and/or web celeb? Do you get sick of them posting *cute* photos of you on Flickr and sharing with the world your flatulence problem?
-Have you caught your online boyfriend cheating on you on Facebook? Did an unsuspecting coworker tag a photo of him taking a jello shot off some girl at his office party? Did you totally change your relationship status after that?
See? Wouldn’t that me a new, fresh angle on the whole dating and relationship culture online? Wouldn’t you want to read that instead of how some dude met some chick and she was a lot uglier than she was in her photos, whilst never actually admitting that he too lied about being 25 and an ex Abercrombie & Fitch model?
I picked up a copy of “The Economist” in February, probably the first time ever. And what should I see but my very own logo (a chocolate dipped strawberry) as the back drop of a fascinating graph. Not only did I just have to post it here, so y’all could know this trivia, but also, Sweetie Pie Drew used it in his Valentine’s Day lecture to his botany class.
Valentine’s Day Food of love
Feb 14th 2008
From Economist.com
ON VALENTINE’S DAY the relationship between chocolate and sex becomes, at least for gentlemen considering the ideal gift, less a matter of theoretical musing and one of stark practicality. Will a box of chocolates do the trick? In some parts of Europe sex and chocolate go hand in hand, though a causal link is unclear. Mediterranean lovers tend to have as much sex but less chocolate—perhaps hotter weather has a bearing on both. The Japanese have precious little of either.
All right, already, I fell for it. Online Booty Call has consistently had such a great sense of humor in its publicity, and here’s the latest entry: An April Fool’s joke. But I bit, and was about to write a blog piece about the OBC owner’s cruising of his own clients for dates and now a mate. (It happens, folks: the new trend with professional matchmakers is to set up dating sites that they they peruse for possible dates for their own matchmaking clients.) So read here, with your tongue firmly in cheek:
Online Dating CEO Marries Customer
Edited by Carly Zander
Tue, 01 Apr 2008, 08:00:10 GMT
SAN DIEGO, Calif., April 1 (SEND2PRESS NEWSWIRE)—In a stunningly ironic twist, OnlineBootyCall.com Founder and CEO has married one of his own customers. In a private Vegas wedding, Moses (Mo) Brown married Heather Rivers (Username: WantNLovN), a 24-year-old fashion designer from New York. Online Booty Call is a unit of Mobeze, Inc.
Caption: OnlineBootyCall CEO Moses Brown married website member Heather Rivers in a private Vegas WeddingOn a traditional dating site like eHarmony(R), such an event would be championed as a testament to the community’s romantic strength. Yet, at Online Booty Call (OBC), it has quite the opposite effect. Members of OBC actually enjoy being single and believe the adventure of dating doesn’t have to be based on the pretense of long-term commitment. So the idea of the CEO attending to the domestics of married life will have a chilling impact on this community of Next Gen daters. It’s all very reminiscent of Hugh Hefner’s similar marriage attempt in 1989.
Brown, with a sparkle in his eye, describes the beginning of their newfound eternal love, “So there I was thinking, man for sure this profile is fake, she’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. But, after some investigation, and a bit of ‘Google stalking,’ I discovered she was the real deal. It’s awesome; I’m ready to cash in all my chips, and leave it all behind for our life together as one!”
OBC employees worry Brown will make good on his plan to “change the name of the site and gear it towards a guaranteed marriage service… because my wife and I want everyone to be as happy as we are.” In response, a senior programmer responded, “Hell, his ship is going down and the fool didn’t even get a prenup!”
We’re predicting a widespread “WTF… Married, seriously?” response from OBC members. As the man who created the “patented” Booty Call Commandments (second commandment “Thou shouldest never ask: can we see each other from now on?") will be ending his Playboy lifestyle, literally, as Brown does party at the Mansion.
About Online Booty Call
OnlineBootyCall.com is an online dating community for singles who enjoy being single. The site’s lighthearted approach to dating allows its members to combine all the benefits of dating with the excitement of maintaining the single life. With millions of registered members throughout the U.S., U.K., Canada, and Australia, OBC makes millions of personal connections every week. OBC is an interactive and fun dating site where “you don’t have to promise marriage just to get a date!”
If you’ve ever thought of using a web cam (come on, now, who hasn’t?) but didn’t know how to start, here’s just the advice you need in the article below. Fess up now, who has used a web cam and kept it clean?
Microsoft and sex expert Tracey Cox’s top tips for hot webcamming action this V-day
By Katherine Hannaford Tech Digest
To support the launch of Microsoft’s new range of webcams - the VX-7000, VX-6000, NX-6000 and NX-3000 - Tracey and her heaving bosoms want you to know that you should always… Check whats in view People will make assumptions about you simply by looking at the things you own, so make sure everything in view sends the signals you want to send. If youre keen to promote a certain image - like be seen as intelligence, for instance, make sure a pile of books are in view. If you want to be seen as artistic, put a painting directly behind you.
Along with…
Be friendly It sounds obvious but there is a temptation to play it cool for fear of appearing too keen. This can (sometimes) work in the flesh but it doesnt translate well on a webcam. The more you smile, the more theyre going to like you. If you insist on using the treat em mean, keep em keen stuff, save it for when youre actually out on a date. We like people who like us. Simple as that.
Make them laugh The joy of being able to see each other as youre chatting means you can use humour, irony and innuendo without fear of it being misinterpreted - which often happens with text or email. Its impossible to take something the wrong way if you can see its delivered with a big, cheeky grin!
Use the camera to reveal the different sides of you Obviously, youll want to look your best the first time you chat via the webcam, but dont be afraid to let them see you looking less than perfect. Revealing different looks gives you dimension.
Look animated and expressive Give good face! Popular people tend to have animated faces and make a steady stream of expressions when theyre talking or listening. Not only do facial expressions liven up our own stories, they also let other people know the effect theirs are having on us. A lot of expressions are infectious - it really is a case of smile and the world smiles with you!
Watch your body language Dont slouch - youll look lazy and uninterested - and if youre nervous, watch what youre doing with your hands. Also be careful about camera angles. Try out your webcam with a trusted friend first, getting them to check its in a flattering position. Practise tilting your chin down and lifting it up, getting them to tell you which is most becoming.
Dont cross your arms Before you jump in with a (defensive) Its comfortable, thats all, let me agree with you. But while some people do in fact cross their arms for comfort, just about all of us adopt this position when we feel defensive, protective, angry, threatened or plain scared. It sends negative signals, so dont chance it. While were on the subject, if youre female and body conscious, resist the urge to hug a pillow. Itll make you look both childish and insecure.
Write down a few ideas of what to talk about before you chat Funny things which have happened that day, something interesting you heard on the newsIf you get suddenly tongue-tied, a quick glance at the list saves you from awkward silences. Keep conversations reasonably light-hearted at the start - its fine to go deeper later but ideally youd save serious topics for when you meet up.
Compliment but not too much When someone tells us were sexy, funny, bright - whatever - it has the optimum effect the first time its said. Keep harping on it and you not only dilute the compliment, you also get the opposite reaction to the one intended: instead of liking you, they find you annoying!
Does he fancy you? Watch to see if hes smoothing or messing up his hair. Guys do this involuntarily if theyre keen, trying to look their best. Also check out how hes sitting. If hes keen, hell tend to sit with his legs open, giving you a crotch display. Its a subliminal Me Tarzan, you Jane gesture, highlighting hes got something you dont Does she fancy you? Women also tend to play with their hair or smooth their clothes, in an effort to look their best. If she tilts her head to the side, its a sign shes interested in what youre saying. Its also good news if she massages her neck or her hands start to glide over her arms and neck. This is called autoerotic touching: shes touching herself where she thinks youd love to!
Use we as soon as you possibly can Were great at this arent we!, or Well have to get used to chatting this way. Linking the two of you conversationally subliminally plants the idea of linking up in other ways. Another great word to use often: you. Instead of Anyway, I was talking about, say Anyway, as I was telling you. Including you makes people feel youre talking to them specifically and it pushes the pride button. The word to use least of all is I. Youll sound selfish if every sentence starts with it.
CrazyBlindDate.com last month">I wrote about CrazyBlindDate.com last month, the perfect site for those of you who think Internet dating is too slow. Now CrazyBlindDate has expanded into more cities: Los Angeles, Chicago and the Washington, D.C. So if you live in one of the urban areas they cover (New York, Boston, San Francisco and Austin), you can be out on a date in 15 minutes.
CrazyBlindDate.com Now Available in Los Angeles, Chicago and the Washington D.C. Metro Area
Hugely Popular Free Online Dating Site Continues to Gain Momentum; Named 2007 Online Dating “Innovation of the Year” by Online Personals Watch
NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Starting today, singles in Los Angeles, Chicago and the Washington, D.C. metro area have their chance to join the growing CrazyBlindDate.com phenomenon. Already a success in New York, Boston, San Francisco and Austin, CrazyBlindDate.com is the only online dating site that encourages singles to get off their computers and into real, live dates, meeting people when and where they want.
Created as a free, fun and spontaneous new twist to the often tiresome world of online dating, CrazyBlindDate.com users simply enter criteria for their date (age, height, ethnic background, education, etc.) and choose the time and location from a list of local venues. Once CrazyBlindDate.com finds two compatible daters, both parties receive text messages and e-mails with the date logistics. Both daters must reconfirm their availability before the blind date is finalized.
CrazyBlindDate.com, first launched in November 2007, has received an incredible response and was recently named the online dating industry’s #1 Innovation in 2007 by Online Personals Watch. According to an analysis of the first 3,000 CrazyBlindDates:
* Over 2/3 of all daters rated their dates as “good” or “great;”
* 87% of singles told a friend about their experience on CrazyBlindDate.com.
“We’ve been thrilled to see such an overwhelming response and look forward to serving the voracious appetite of singles in LA, Washington DC, and Chicago,” said Sam Yagan, co-founder of CrazyBlindDate.com. “Singles across the country are finding that CrazyBlindDate.com is the one website that quickly connects them with real, live dates, taking the work out of online dating and replacing it with spontaneity and fun.”
I just don’t get it. People now complain that Internet dating takes too much time, the process is too slow and time-consuming, too much work, blah blah blah. Man, have we gotten spoiled or what? Internet dating is not even 15 years old yet (Match.com started in 1995), has evolved with breakneck speed, particularly since 9/11/2001, is the greatest thing that has ever happened to romance, EVER, and we bitch? Don’t you remember how hard meeting ANYONE was prior to online dating? People now go from no dates in years to six in a month or even a week! What’s to complain about?
Well, as will happen, when a need is identified, a solution will be invented. Who knew that we needed garbage bags?
Onto the stage comes CrazyBlindDate.com. Looks like it is a branch of OKCupid in beta, and it looks like it helps if you are in Austin, Boston, NYC, or San Francisco, but by going through a bit of a sign up process, you could be on a blind date in 15 minutes. You really should go to CrazyBlindDate.com and go through their sign-up process just to see what is possible. They even set you up with a place to meet! Ah, technology. See the article below for one woman’s experience:
Speeding up love at first site
By MEREDITH BLAKE
Thursday, February 7th 2008, 4:00 AM
Braganti for News
The rigors of Internet dating had always seemed daunting for author Meredith Blake, but here she’s got a ‘crazy blind date’ with destiny.
Twenty minutes was all I had to give.
Okay, technically 40 minutes, but for the sake of my own sanity, I was telling myself it was only 20 minutes. It was a Friday night in the dead of winter, and I had not one but two blind dates to look forward to. Oh, and a photographer would be there to capture my date in all of its awkward glory.
A mere 24 hours earlier, I had logged on to a new dating site, CrazyBlindDate.com. Launched this past November in New York, Austin, Boston and San Francisco, the site is completely free and lets users go on a blind date almost immediately - in as little as 15 minutes. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire and be willing to commit to at least 20 minutes no matter who or what shows up (anything less would be rude, of course).
The brainchild of Sam Yagan, also the CEO and co-founder of OkCupid.com, CrazyBlindDate was designed to address the perceived shortcomings of many other sites.
“When I talk to my friends, they have two complaints about Internet dating,” explains Yagan. “They say it’s too much work - working on the profile, browsing, sending e-mails. And they say that it lacks spontaneity. You can’t go online and set up a profile and get a date that night.”
Unlike other services that offer hours of fruitless distraction, CrazyBlindDate is not a destination for anything other than getting a date as soon as possible. You can’t view profiles of other users, or communicate with them in any way before your date, and there aren’t even any ads.
“With CBD, we want you to spend as little time as possible on the site, all your time out on the dates,” says Yagan.
Once you’ve requested a date, the system tries to find a match for you based on the criteria you request. If a match is found, you get an e-mail with a very brief physical description of your date, and a suggested location chosen from a standing list of bars and coffee shops. Once you accept, there’s no going back.
I had never tried online dating, with the exception of a few quasi-dates way back in the age of Friendster.
On the other hand, I have been on plenty of blind dates before. To ease the pressure, I follow this advice: Treat your date like an interview for a job you don’t want. With that in mind I usually enjoy myself.
So in theory, CrazyBlindDate seemed perfect for me.
“It’s a forced adventure, so I knew there would be something to talk about” says CrazyBlindDate.com veteran, Brianna Klemm, 30, of Astoria, who rationalized her first date as fodder for her blog.
“It’s great because it reminds you that dating is not that big a deal, that really it’s just two people sitting in a bar.”
But while Klemm was dubious about finding a serious relationship on CBD, Richie, 27, of Brooklyn, was more optimistic about its prospects. He recently ended up dating a guy he met through the site. “I tried Match.com a few years back, but never actually went out with anyone because the process is really tedious, “ he says. “But [CrazyBlind Date] is good for anyone.”
So, with these encouraging thoughts in my mind, I headed out on my dating adventure. First up was Michael, “Asian, 31, highlights, carrying an iPhone,” according to his CBD description.
I was the first to arrive at our meeting spot - 71 Irving, a Manhattan bar and cafe. I sat down and immediately started drinking my glass of Cabernet, waiting for Michael to walk through the door.
A few minutes later, an Asian man walked in, with telltale white headphones in his ears. I deliberated for a second about whether the barely noticeable reddish streaks in his hair qualified as highlights, and decided it had to be him. Michael joined me at the little table in the corner, and we both tried to ignore the photographer taking our picture. Not that she wasn’t nice.
Michael was eccentric, funny and totally unfazed by the situation. Even though there wasn’t a romantic connection, he kept me entertained with stories of seducing older women as a teenager and his plans to buy a plasma television for each wall in his bedroom. The only lull in conversation was when he answered a business call on his beloved iPhone, which provided a welcome opportunity to dig into the chocolate macaroons he bought for me. After about an hour at 71 Irving, Michael upped the ante and suggested getting dinner in Chinatown, but I had to decline since I had another date scheduled.
Emboldened by two glasses of wine, I headed for my second date at Greenwich Treehouse, a laid-back bar in a corner of the West Village . I awkwardly made a lap around the crowded bar, not seeing anyone fitting Brian’s description: “27, white, dark hair, clean-shaven.” I got a beer, and took a very conspicuous seat by the door so as not to be missed.
I felt strangely liberated and not self-conscious about the fact that I was a woman in a bar by myself on a Friday. This turned out to be an especially good thing, since 20 minutes passed with no sign of Brian.
To be honest, I was relieved. I’d had a great night, despite being stood up by a total stranger.
If you are a bald but hairy guy with a few years under your belt, it may pay for you to head to Britain if you are looking for a lady. According to the survey done by Parship (a British online dating site), British women in general and older British women in particular find balding men with body hair (even on their backs) sexy. Though the London women seem to prefer guys who defuzz. Yankee ladies, what’s your opinion?
Hairy Hunks Find More Favour with British Women
Older women lead the way in preferring men with body hair
Press Dispensary - February 12, 2008 - UK women are leading the trend in Europe for the return of the real man, according to a new survey by online matchmaking firm PARSHIP (http://parship.co.uk). In comparison to women in other European countries, British women are more intensely attracted to a man with body hair and as she gets older her desire for a hairy hunk increases.
One in three (34%) British women say they’d go for a man in the classic virile mould of Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan or Tom Jones, outnumbering the one in four women who’d prefer the smoother option offered by current heartthrobs like Daniel Craig, Johnny Wilkinson and Colin Farrell – a look that has been described as ‘waxed within an inch of their life’. This is in stark contrast to women in other countries of Western Europe, where 31% prefer hairless heroes and just 22% opt for hirsute. David Hasselhoff might be a star in Germany, but a mere 11% of the country’s women would like the thought of smearing sun cream on his hairy chest.
For British women over 30, a hairy man is the acme of masculinity and a smooth body just won’t do. As women get older their desire for body hair in the opposite sex increases. Six in ten (62%) of women over 45 say they find a man with body hair very attractive, compared to just 24% of women under 25. It also happens that a hairy man’s appeal increases the further north you go in the UK – maybe it’s something to do with insulation from cold winds.
Of the 6,500 women polled by PARSHIP, it also found that a lack of hair on a man’s head was not an obstacle to UK women. Just 11% said they wouldn’t date a follicly challenged man, compared to 17% of French and 16% of Italian women.
Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and dating expert for PARSHIP.co.uk, comments: “The interesting finding from this survey was that women in the UK, compared to other countries in Europe, are more embracing of men with either body hair (including hair on the back) and of male-pattern baldness. It’s also notable that women are more accepting of male body hair as they yet older – this is just as well since it’s well known that testosterone (in combination with genetic factors) leads to both male-pattern baldness and increasing body hair with increasing age. It looks like follicly-challenged men don’t have to be self-concious after all – the vast majority of women simply don’t see it as an issue.”
The hairy hotspots – where females prefer hairy hunks are as follows:
Scotland – 47%
North – 38%
South – 35%
London – 25%
Midlands and Wales – 33%
The bald spots - women who wouldn’t date a bald man are:
South – 2%
Scotland – 4%
Midlands and Wales – 12%
North – 15%
London – 27%
Oh Lordy, if you want a giggle, trace down the leads in this short piece below. I did, and GAWD, I love the British sense of humor! Match.com in Britain has launched a series of ads about two characters called Fate and Cupid. The main point is “Do you want to leave your chances of finding love to Fate and Cupid?” And with these specimens, for goodness sake, NO!
First, I went to youtube.com and did a search using “Match.com+ads+Cupid” and got a whole line-up (8) ads featuring these precious inventions. I can just imagine the sessions the writers had when they were thinking these commercials up.
Then I found that Cupid and Fate have their own website, which is even better. All the videos are there, and they even have a game.
Why doesn’t Match.com launch this campaign in the USA? Probably because we don’t have as good a sense of humor as the Brits.
Not only are the ads hysterical, they bring up the best point: Leaving your love life to Cupid and Fate? Come ON! Get real.
Best, Kathryn
Match.com unveils campaign for New Year push
Match.com, the online dating site, is encouraging people to “make love happen rather than leaving it to cupid and fate” in a new advertising campaign that breaks on New Year’s Eve.
The campaign introduces two “lazy, hapless” characters called Cupid and Fate, who spend their time doing their hair and filling in magazine quizzes rather than connecting two star-crossed lovers. It has the strapline: “Don’t wait for Cupid and Fate. Find love for yourself at Match.com”.
LOVE ME, LOVE MY PET. Heavy petting prevents singles from finding love.
• Nearly half of Britain’s singles now own a pet – 6.1 million people
• Singles spend £5.6 billion each year pampering their pets
• Owning a pet can reduce your chances of finding love by as much as 40%
• One in four men wouldn’t date a woman with two or more cats
• A third of women won’t date a man who shares his pillow with a pet
• If push came to shove 25% of singles would choose their pet over a new partner
• Nearly two thirds of singles say they really love their pet and think of him/her as a member of the family
According to new research from PARSHIP, the UK’s largest serious online dating service, more singles than ever before are turning to pets for companionship. Nearly half (47%) of Britain’s 13 million singles now own a pet, spending an average of £928 and dedicating 21 days a year to their animal’s wellbeing and upkeep. However, PARSHIP advises that single pet-owners could be putting romance at serious risk: owning a pet could reduce your chances of finding love by as much as 40%.
Treating pets as children (12% of respondents), sharing your bed with your pet (33%), over-indulging your pooch with the latest designer accessories (40%), or simply owning two cats or more (23%) – these were just some of the factors that influenced other singles against dating a pet-owner. What’s more, if push came to shove 25% of singles would favour their pet over a new partner.
The implications of this could be serious, considering Britain’s singles own 1.24 million cats, 1.18 million dogs, 624,000 fish, 436,800 hamsters, rats and gerbils, 187,200 birds, 124,000 horses, donkeys and pigs, 64,000 snakes, and 120,000 exotic animals as pets – which includes spiders and insects. That’s a lot of two-, four-, six- and eight-legged creatures edging their way between Britain’s singles and their potential happiness with another human being.
• The puss on the pillow reduces your chances of finding love by a third
In conjunction with YouGov, and covering 2,000 singles, PARSHIP conducted a wide-ranging study exploring singles’ relationships with their pets. A third of singles say they wouldn’t date someone who shares their bed with their pet, (29% of men/36% of women), 23% are turned off by owners of two or more cats (26% of men/21% of women), and 22% are repelled by owners of snakes (18% of men/26% of women) and spiders 40% (33% of men/48% of women). 40% wouldn’t date people who overindulge their pets by spending £100 or more a week on animal upkeep (44% of men/37% of women), while going as far as treating a pet as a member of your family will alienate you from 13% of men or 11% of women; on the other hand, NOT doing so will alienate you from 11% of men or 12% of women
• The animal attraction
So what’s driving this animal love affair? Nearly two thirds (58%) say they love their pet and think of him/her as a member of the family, compared to just 27% who love their pet as an animal, but not as a surrogate human. In fact, singles love their pets so much that in some instances they would put their pet’s feelings above their own.
• Pets over partners
Sometimes they will even put their pet’s feelings above their lover’s. One quarter (25%) of men and women say that if their live-in partner developed an allergic reaction to their pet, under no circumstances would they put their boyfriend or girlfriend before the animal: Mr or Ms Right would just have to find somewhere else to live. More encouragingly, 15% of men and 22% of women said they’d visit a top Harley Street specialist – no matter what it cost – in the hope of finding an effective treatment for the allergy, while 32% of men and 19% of women said they’d find a loving new home for the problem-causing pet.
Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and PARSHIP’s dating and relationship expert commented:
“People invest a lot in their pets emotionally, but whilst some singles may see their pets as surrogate partners or children, this research shows that these people are in the small minority. Rather than the stereotype of a spinster with several cats, the reality is that many singles simply enjoy owning a pet but they would probably put their human relationships first.”
“Provided the balance is there and pet owners don’t avoid socialising or dating and that they maintain a healthy attitude to their pet then it shouldn’t interfere with their love life. But perhaps single pet owners would be wise to take note of this research: if there’s seems to be potential for a long-term relationship developing then it might be best not to boast about how much you indulge your pet and avoid making harsh statements about how your pet comes first, especially on the first few dates.”
• Is it time to put the cat out?
25% of singles wouldn’t date someone with two or more cats. In most cases this is attributable to an allergy, with 26% of adults suffering from sneezes and discomfort when close to a feline. There are very few treatments available to counter the allergic reaction. However, there’s good news for the 40% of singles who wouldn’t date someone who owned a pet spider: Even a single session of real-life exposure based therapy can be effective for up to 90% of phobic individuals. (Ost, Brandberg and Alm, 1997, Ost, Salkovskis and Helstrom, 1991)), so you really could learn to love your partner’s little (or not so little) eight-legged friend ….
PARSHIP is Europe’s largest and most successful serious online matchmaking service, with over 2.4 million members, PARSHIP draws its strength from its unique psychometric compatibility test and a methodology which ensures that its members are only matched with people who are genuinely right for them.
Dr Victoria Lukats, explains how the test works:
“The factors that make two people a good romantic match are highly complex. Common interests such as a love of animals can help but the importance of complimentary personality traits in determining the long-term success of a relationship cannot be underestimated.”
“PARSHIP uses a unique psychometric test to match members with similar and complimentary characteristics. Many people believe that opposites attract, whereas others believe that similar personalities are compatible with one another. In fact, both these points of view can be valid, as research conducted over many years by leading psychologists has demonstrated. “
“For example, if an individual highly values domesticity or has a high need for emotional intimacy, then he or she would be well matched with a partner with similar values.”
“For other characteristics, differing scores on the test can be acceptable, even desirable, although wildly opposing scores could spell disaster. A member who is extremely assertive in their communication style would not be well matched with someone who was similarly assertive as this could lead to a major clash of personalities. Likewise, an individual who is slightly shy might be drawn out of themselves by someone who is slightly more outgoing, whereas a complete introvert is less likely to be successfully matched with someone who is the complete opposite.”
In addition to matching members through their personality profiles, members can also choose to specify what they are looking in a potential partner including age, height, location, whether they prefer a non-smoker and whether a potential partner has a pet.
Overall the PARSHIP test has been shown to be an accurate reflection of an individual’s personality and furthermore it has proven to be a highly successful method to help people find the love of their life.
For Further information or case studies please contact Penny Conway on 020 7014 4046, 07775 992350 or email
The research was conducted by YouGov between 30th June and 4th July 2007 questioned 2,353 adults over the age of 18 and by PARSHIP questioning 200,000 singles from its UK database.
About Dr Victoria Lukats (http://www.drlukats.com)
Dr Victoria Lukats, MBBS MRCPsych MSc is a psychiatrist, agony aunt and dating and relationship expert. As well as working as a relationship and dating expert for PARSHIP Dr Lukats is a Specialist Registrar in Psychiatry at Sussex Partnership NHS Trust in Brighton
References:
Ost LG, Salkovskis P M and Hellstrom K (1991) One-session therapist directed exposure vs. self-exposure in the treatment of spider phobia. Behaviour Therapy. 22: 407-422
Ost L G, Brandberg M and Alm T (1997) One versus five sessions of exposure in the treatment of flying phobia. Behaviour research and Therapy. 35: 987-996
Saint Catherine is connected in England with lace makers and in France with seamstresses, both probably professions populated by unmarried women. Catherettes (unmarried women over 25) were pictured on postcards, as above. The caption reads: “When will it be my turn?”
*Catherinette* parties for young girls are common in France, particularly those given by the couture houses in Paris for the *Catherinettes*. Guests wear exotic hats in Saint Catherine’s colors, yellow and green.
In English lace making villages, *Catterns Day* was celebrated with games and special foods, especially Cattern (or Kattern) Cakes. *Jack be nimble, Jack be quick* is a nursery rhyme associated with a game played on the holiday involving, oddly enough, jumping over a candlestick! Cattern Cakes are seasoned with caraway, and the only recipe I found follows:
*Bedfordshire Kattern Cakes*
A traditional recipe from Anglia
(Also known as Catherine Cakes, after Catherine of Aragon, who once lived at Ampthill Castle. Specially prepared for St. Catherine’s Day on November 25.)
2 pounds bread dough
2 oz lard or butter
1 oz caraway seeds
2 oz castor sugar
1 large egg
Prepare the dough, then knead in the lard or butter, caraway seeds, sugar and egg. When the ingredients are well mixed, divide in two, kneading one piece to fit into a 2 lb greased loaf tin. Divide the second piece into two and knead each half to fit a 1 lb loaf tin, then cover with a damp tea towel and leave to rise until the dough reaches the top of the tins.
Bake 20-25 minutes at 400 degrees.
Serve sliced and buttered.
Doesn’t that sound tasty? Castor sugar is like super-fine sugar. I read one place that the cakes were sweetened with treacle, which I think is a sugar syrup.
St. Catherine’s Day, November 25
Years ago, I spent a month in the countryside of England. One of my most magical memories was a night in Abbotsbury, a lovely village in Dorset (Thomas Hardy country), right on the coast. After my first dinner in a pub, we walked down a country lane in a beautiful, hazy yellow light, stone walls on both sides dripping with wildflowers. Have you seen Roman Polanski’s movie *Tess*? It was probably filmed in this area, and our hike was straight out of the film.
We walked through fields past sheep and up a long hill, up over a stone wall using a style (a first for that, too), heading for Saint Catherine’s Chapel, high on hill overlooking the sea.
The chapel was the remains of an old Catholic church, torn apart by anti-Catholic fervor after Henry VIII’s separation from the Roman Church. The stone walls were still there, left as a landmark for mariners. (For more about Abbotsbury and St. Catherine’s Chapel, click here.)
Along with the trek being a beautiful odyssey, I was interested that it was a chapel to Saint Catherine. I knew nothing about where my name had come from, even with its different spelling.
Saint Catherine is the patron (matron?) saint of unmarried women. She was martyred by being tortured on the wheel (not sure of the details here), and is often pictured with a wheel. Usually she is wearing a crown because she was a royal, carrying a book (she was well-educated) and/or a sword that symbolizes martyrdom.
Single women hoping for a husband still visit the chapel in Abbotsbury. On the old walls there is a copy of their prayer:
A husband, St. Catherine
A handsome one, St. Catherine
A rich one, St. Catherine
A nice one, St. Catherine
And soon, St. Catherine
Saint Catherine’s Day is November 25. Take a little time to remember Saint Catherine, maybe say a little prayer, and think how much better single women have it now than even a hundred years ago. And see below for other traditions linked to her day.
I get the nicest things in the mail—emails, of course, but this came in the old-fashioned post-office-box-type mail:
Now is this cool or what? My lovely daughter (who is getting married next month) found this card and dropped it in the mail to me. Since the motif is a chocolate dipped strawberry, my logo, I am surprised that I haven’t gotten dozens, but that may have to do with the company that makes them (Tender Thoughts Greetings—I couldn’t find a web site for them, but Tender Thoughts, if you read this, get in touch—I’d love to carry these cards here on my site!).
Even better: Here are the words inside: “You make love yummy. Happy Sweetest Day.” Doesn’t that sound like me? I even have buttons with my strawberry logo and “Yummy!” below. What could be more fitting?
Now this is the best: On the back of the card is the following: “Celebrated on the third Saturday in October, Sweetest Day started in 1922, when a candy company employee organized a group to help deliver candy and small gifts to orphans and others whose lives needed brightening. Today, lovers and romantics embrace the day as well, but it’s still a time to remember those who bring happiness to our lives.”
My sentiments exactly. How come I never heard of Sweetest Day before? A new holiday! (Stay tuned for “St. Catherine’s Day” which is coming up fast).
Thank you to my daughter Mishelle who has certainly brought her share of sweetness to my life!
Golly! Can being vegetarian now be not cool? Thank you, thank you, for all the times I’ve had to adjust dinner party menus for assorted dietary wierdnesses. BTW, I ate vegetarian for about 10 years (with occasional nights off if I couln’t resist BBQ). Gee whiz, New Yorkers, stop reading so much into everything. Let women have what they want to eat, okay? I’d go at least three dates before I made too many assumptions about anyone based on what they ordered to eat. Well, maybe not if they drank a gallon of Pepsi with the whole business....
Be Yourselves, Girls, Order the Rib-Eye
By ALLEN SALKIN
Published: August 9, 2007
MARTHA FLACH mentioned meat twice in her Match.com profile: “I love architecture, The New Yorker, dogs ... steak for two and the Sunday puzzle.”
She was seeking, she added, “a smart, funny, kind man who owns a suit (but isn’t one) ... and loves red wine and a big steak.”
The repetition worked. On her first date with Austin Wilkie, they ate steak frites. A year later, after burgers at the Corner Bistro in Greenwich Village, he proposed. This March, the rehearsal dinner was at Keens Steakhouse on West 36th Street, and the wedding menu included mini-cheeseburgers and more steak.
Ms. Wilkie was a vegetarian in her teens, and even wore a “Meat Is Murder” T-shirt. But by her 30s, she had started eating cow. By the time she placed the personal ad, she had come to realize that ordering steak on a first date had the potential to sate appetites not only of the stomach but of the heart.
Red meat sent a message that she was “unpretentious and down to earth and unneurotic,” she said, “that I’m not obsessed with my weight even though I’m thin, and I don’t have any food issues.” She added, “In terms of the burgers, it said I’m a cheap date, low maintenance.”
Salad, it seems, is out. Gusto, medium rare, is in.
Restaurateurs and veterans of the dating scene say that for many women, meat is no longer murder. Instead, meat is strategy. “I’ve been shocked at the number of women actually ordering steak,” said Michael Stillman, vice president of concept development for the Smith & Wollensky Restaurant Group, which opened the restaurant Quality Meats in April 2006 on West 58th Street. He said Quality Meats’ contemporary design and menu, including extensive seafood offerings, were designed to attract more women than a traditional steakhouse. “But the meat is appealing to them, much more than what I saw two or three years ago at our other restaurants,” Mr. Stillman said. “They are going for our bone-in sirloin and our cowboy-cut rib steak.”
In an earlier era, conventional dating wisdom for women was to eat something at home alone before a date, and then in company order a light dinner to portray oneself as dainty and ladylike. For some women, that is still the practice. “It’s better not to have a jalapeño fajita plate, especially on the first date,” said Andrea Bey, 28, who sells video surveillance equipment in Irving, Tex., and describes herself as “curvy.” “You don’t want to be labeled as ‘princess gassy’ on the first date.”
But others, especially those who are thin, say ordering a salad displays an unappealing mousiness.
“It seems wimpy, insipid, childish,” said Michelle Heller, 34, a copy editor at TV Guide. “I don’t want to be considered vapid and uninteresting.”
Ordering meat, on the other hand, is a declarative statement, something along the lines of “I am woman, hear me chew.”
In fact, red meat on a date has become such an effective statement of self-acceptance that even a vegetarian like Sloane Crosley, a publicist at Random House, sometimes longs to order a burger.
“Being a vegetarian puts you at a disadvantage,” Ms. Crosley said. “You’re in the most basic category of finicky. Even women who order chicken, it isn’t enough.” She said she has thought of ordering shots of Jägermeister, famous for its frat boy associations, to prove that she is “a guy’s girl.”
“Everyone wants to be the girl who drinks the beer and eats the steak and looks like Kate Hudson,” Ms. Crosley, 28, said.
Not all red meat, apparently, is equal in the dating world. The mediums of steak and hamburger each send a different message. Dropping into conversation the fact that steaks of Kobe beef come from Wagyu cattle, but that not all steaks sold as Wagyu are Kobe beef, demonstrates one’s worldliness, said Gabriella Gershenson, a dining editor at Time Out New York. It holds the same currency today that being able to name Hemingway’s four wives held in an earlier era.
Hamburgers, she added, say you are down-to-earth, which is why women rarely order those deluxe hamburgers priced as high as a porterhouse.
“They’re created for men who want to impress women, so they order the $60 burger, then they let the woman taste it,” Ms. Gershenson said. “The man gets to show off his expertise and show that he can afford it.”
When Paris Hilton was arrested for driving under the influence, she announced that she had been on her way to In-N-Out Burger, the Southern California chain revered for its gut-busting Double-Double, as if trying to satisfy a craving for two slabs of meat and cheese was an excuse for drunken driving that anyone could understand. And twice last year, Nicole Richie, persistently facing rumors that she suffered from an eating disorder, was photographed biting into burgers in Los Angeles, an effort that seemed designed to demonstrate her casualness toward calories.
Of course, there are always those rare women who order what they want and to heck with what a man might think.
Saehee Hwang, 30, a production director at Artnet.com, found herself out with friends at DuMont restaurant in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, when she started feeling attracted to a new guy in the group. She said she had wanted to order a burger, but started having second thoughts. “I didn’t want to appear too much of a carnivore,” she said. “It might be off-putting.”
But then she decided she should not change her order to fit a preconceived idea of what a man might want. She ordered the house specialty, a half-pound of beef on a toasted brioche bun with Gruyère cheese. “We started dating afterward,” Ms. Hwang said. “And he told me he liked the fact that I ordered the burger.”
What about when the tables, so to speak, are reversed? Can a man order a juicy New York strip on the first date and make a good impression? Gentlemen, be careful. Real men, it seems, must eat kale.
“When a guy sits down and eats something fatty and big, you wonder if they eat like that all the time,” said Brice Gaillard, a freelance design writer. “It crosses my mind they’ll probably die early.”
This is yet another spin off of dating site-type matchmaking, but this time for couples who want more friends. This is a fantastic idea. Finding other couples that both of you like can be difficult for new couples, so why not go to the net? Here’s the site for you!
Site helps couples expand social network
SALLY DADISMAN; McClatchy-Tribune
Published: June 25th, 2007 01:00 AM
Love seems to be in the online air, including a new matchmaking service for those already coupled up.
Skipping over singles sites, those who have already found their one and only can now find couple companionship on Couplets.com, a social-networking site launched in 2006, which hopes to serve the needs of couples looking for new friends. With members from 45 states, the Web site usually charges a 12-month $24.95 fee, but is temporarily free while it builds up its membership.
Set up much like a dating Web site, Couplets.com lets members search for travel companions and movie-date partners in their area or simply those with similar interests.
If you find you spend all your time with your significant other, friends have disappeared and your social life has become routinely boring, the site is a place to go to look for other like-minded couples.
This is either the height of cool or crass. If you want a bargain wedding, look at what Wal-Mart is getting into. PS two of the seven couples met online.
Seven Lucky Couples Chosen to Walk Down the Wal-Mart Aisles on 7/7/07
Thursday June 21, 7:03 pm ET
‘Lucky in Love Wedding Search’ Awards Couples Ceremonies at Local Wal-Mart Stores on the Most Popular Wedding Date of the Year
When Kymberlie DeRouen helped her longtime friend and ex-boyfriend, Billy Guidry, clean up the wreckage to his home from Hurricane Rita they found a love letter under a flag on the front door that she had written to him when they were dating. The pair interpreted finding the letter as a sign that they belonged together, forever. Wal-Mart Stores and G-Squared, a Wal-Mart exclusive brand from Gartner Studios, announced today that Kymberlie and Billy, along with six other couples from across the country, will receive wedding ceremonies and receptions inside their local Wal-Mart Supercenter on the most popular—and possibly the luckiest—wedding day of the year.
“Considering that Wal-Mart is like a second home to us, we’re excited to have our wedding there,” said Kymberlie. “Billy and I have been through so much during the past couple of years, so we truly consider ourselves lucky in love.”
Seven lucky couples have been named to receive these ceremonies and receptions as a result of the Lucky in Love Wedding Search and will exchange wedding vows on July 7. Couples were invited to register by logging onto http://www.walmart.com/giftregistry and clicking on the Lucky in Love link. The link connected them to the G Squared/Gartner Studios entry information, which asked for a brief love story essay. Registration began March 20 and concluded at Midnight on May 6, resulting in more than 400 couple registrations.
In addition to Louisiana-based Kymberlie DeRouen and Billy Guidry, the following couples were selected to receive a wedding package, including a reception and gifts, at their local Wal-Mart Supercenter:
Oliver Roper and Debra Russell, Oklahoma City, OK—Oliver and Debra seem destined to wed on 7.7.07. They met seven years ago—in July no less—and hit it off immediately. Financial hardship forced them to postpone their wedding indefinitely, and being chosen as one of the “lucky in love” couples has finally given them their long-awaited chance for a meaningful ceremony in front of their loved ones.
Jimmie Lee Cottrell and Katessa Burtch, Kokomo, IN—Jimmie Lee, who has two daughters of his own, and Katessa Burtch, who has three sons of her own, are excited to join their families together as one. After changing their wedding date twice, coordinating busy family schedules and Katessa injuring her knee, planning the wedding hadn’t been an easy task—until now. Because Wal-Mart is such a part of the family’s daily life and Katessa is a former associate, the couple believes the store is the perfect place to join their lives.
Duwayne Surprise and Liz Donaldson, Janesville, WI—Duwayne and Liz found each other through friends on the Internet. After spending countless hours together online, they realized they were an ideal match. Liz surprised Duwayne by proposing to him on her blog. Little did she know, Duwayne was planning on proposing to her that same week.
Michael Lefevers and Rachel Evans, Lebanon, OR—Michael and Rachel have always been close. In fact, they have lived three houses down from each other for most of their lives. However, it wasn’t until Michael’s sister introduced him to Rachel in 2005, that they even knew they were neighbors. Since then, their relationship has blossomed and they can hardly wait for 7/7/07.
Caleb Cox and Ella Glass, Charlotte, NC—Caleb and Ella met, as fate would have it, by complete accident in an online chatroom. After they began chatting away with one another, they realized they were a true match. After almost five years of dating, the couple is thrilled to get married.
Matthew Cauthon and Candace Presley, Gore, OK—Matthew and Candace met through mutual friends in 2004 and hit it off right away. They spend countless hours with each other, playing with their dogs and spending time with their families.
“We are predicting that twice the number of brides as other Saturdays in July will marry this July 7, and many facilities were booked well over a year in advance,” said Richard Markel, Director of the Association for Wedding Professionals International. “Wal-Mart has provided a great opportunity—and solution—for these brides; without this opportunity, they might have had to settle for another, less memorable date.”
Couples will receive a wedding package with an estimated value of more than $5,000. This package not only includes the decorated wedding venue in Wal-Mart’s colorful lawn and garden area surrounded by the season’s bright foliage, but also an adjacent tent for the reception area, wedding cake and party food. The package also includes 14kt gold and diamond wedding bands, wedding invitations, wedding and groom’s cakes, fresh floral bouquets, digital cameras and digital photo frame, a portable GPS device, reception food and a $1,000 Wal-Mart gift card.
The average American wedding costs a whopping $22,000(1) and requires multiple trips to various vendors and many betrothed couples are searching for solutions to save money and time without sacrificing quality for their special day. One example is in a quality wedding cake—more than 1500 customers a week purchase wedding cakes at Wal-Mart Supercenters around the country. That totals up to more than 78,000 wedding cakes a year that Wal-Mart provide couples walking down the aisles.
You are probably too late to win this year, but you might get an invitation ...
Wanna Win a Wal-Mart Wedding?
Wal-Mart is giving seven lucky couples wedding packages worth more than $5,000, including rings, wedding cakes invitations and flowers and other related items.
The nuptials will take place in the lawn and garden sections of the couple’s local Wal-Mart Supercenters. The couples are to tie the knot in ceremonies all on July Seventh.
Here’s the New York Times’ take on “Confessions of a Matchmaker”:
Specialist in Tough (to) Love
By SUSAN STEWART
Published: June 16, 2007
Hype and hokiness aside, some reality shows are appealing because they seem real. Buffalo is the setting for “Confessions of a Matchmaker,” tonight on A&E. Nobody will confuse that town with Hollywood, Manhattan or the castle on “The Bachelor.” Establishing shots show us a gritty, snowy industrial city in the unforgiving north, with a heroine to match.
Patti Novak, who runs a dating service within spitting distance of Niagara Falls, is a fine representative of Buffalo and a fine character for the reality genre. She’s plainspoken but not rude, a classic dispenser of tough love. When Charlie, her first customer comes in, she sizes him up pretty quickly.
“You’ve made a choice between doughnuts and sex,” she says.
“Life takes its toll,” Charlie responds with a shrug. He’s a former Mr. Nude Universe, but those glory days are long gone. Charlie now weighs 346 pounds and was recently kicked out of an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. Still, there’s hope.
“I see sensitivity and a great pair of blue eyes,” Ms. Novak says. She takes him out for a test dinner and cringes as he slurps pasta: “For God’s sake, chew with your mouth closed.”
Charlie learns his lesson better than another client, Ashley. A cocktail waitress, she refuses to give up her fake tan and layers of makeup. “He might want to take you home and roll you over,” Ms. Novak tells her, “but I bet your bank account he won’t want to take you home to Mother.”
Some reality shows are predicated on cruelty, or at least a survival-of-the-fittest mentality. That “American Idol” seems increasingly to fit both those models may be why its ratings are slipping. Sometimes a little kindness is preferable to a freak show. Ms. Novak’s clients are not weird enough to be laughable or pathetic enough to pity. They are people with whom a lot of us could identify, at least on a bad day.
A very bad day, in the case of John. At 41, he says he has never had sex. He blames it partly on the economy. Ms. Novak tells him to get real.
“It’s not cute that you’re a virgin at age 41,” she says. “It’s a red flag the size of Texas.”
It takes John two dates to figure out his problem. (The viewer may guess it sooner.) Over a shared plate of appetizers, dawn breaks. At least Ms. Novak, who is watching, detects “chemistry.”
Ms. Novak’s criteria for success may be debatable. I know a lot of happily married couples who would probably fail her chemistry test, but her heart is in the right place. And heart, on a dating show, is what counts.
I don’t know about you, but I’m setting my Tivo to record this new show on A&E that I just heard about: “Confessions of a Matchmaker.” Read Kate Harding’s blog entry about it below:
TV Preview: Confessions of a Matchmaker
Written by Kate C. Harding
Published June 15, 2007
With the growing acceptability for finding love through online dating, personal ads, and many other forms of outside help, it is no surprise that a television show about a professional matchmaker would soon be in the works. Enter the A&E Network and their new show, Confessions of a Matchmaker.
The unscripted, half-hour series follows Patti Novak and her all-in-the-family-team in the wilds of Buffalo, New York as they set about finding perfect matches for their many clients. It is surprising, and more than a little encouraging, to see Novak making her matches not through cold and clinical computer programs (á la eHarmony), but by sitting down with each file and going with her years of tested experience and, believe it or not, her gut.
In the first episode we meet Charlie, a former Mr. Nude Universe who has deplorable and disgusting table manners, and Ashley, a barely-out-of-college woman who tans too much and wears inches of make-up. Novak ushers them throu |
