Did you know that in South Africa, same sex marriage has been legal since 2006? Now tell me, is it strange to think that South Africa is more progressive than the United States about allowing consenting, loving adults to be legally and publicly joined? Or what?
Did you see the July 24th New York Times’ Styles section? The WHOLE SECTION was devoted to celebrating gay couples’ and their newly legal right to wed in New York State. Here’s a great photo essay I just found. I always scan the section of wedding announcements (usually looking for those who met online, or at least, those willing to admit to it), and as various states have legalized same sex unions, more and more of the couples in the Style section were gay. This week, about half were, and many had been couples for many, many years.
Wherever you stand on the issue, it is hard to be against wanting to celebrate finding a loving partner. Yea for New York state! And yea for Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa. More are ahead. Maryland seems to be heading that way, and Obama has softened his position.
PS My dear Aunt Glenice who reads every word I write) emailed to tell me that Illinois where she lives also has legalized same sex marriage. She attended the wedding of her favorite neighbors, two ladies. Yea, Aunt Glenice!
I just finished THE most interesting book I have read in a long time: “Self-Made Man” by Norah Vincent. The subtitle says it all: “One Woman’s Journey into Manhood and Back.”
Vincent mastered male disguise and surreptitiously made her way into one traditional males-only bastion after another, all the way from a men’s bowling league and strip joints to a Catholic monastery and a Rober Bly-style men’s group. And not once for each of these venues, but over and over and over again.
Both female and lesbian, Vincent was a double outsider in these all-male and mostly heterosexual groups. Her struggles to master male dress and behavior (and subsequent constant fear of discovery of her female-ness) and her constant surprises as her experiences of these men belied her expectations made for fascinating reading.
Interestingly, Vincent used Internet dating for her forays into heterosexual love (if you can call a lesbian masquerading as a man, trying to date women, as heterosexual love). The Internet part is rater incidental to Vincent’s main point that dating and love, which she thought would be the easiest for her as a man, were the hardest. You’ll have to read the book to find out why.
As a Romance Coach working with heterosexuals who are trying to meaningfully connect with each other, I found “Self-Made Man” a page-turner, and am almost ready to say it is a “must-read” for all my clients, female and male. Vincent’s attempts to span the gender gap, her struggles to fit in, and the realization that she never would, plus her guilt and discomfort with being in disguise and essentially fooling these often endearing men, made for riveting reading. I think this book can definitely help women understand men better, and interestingly, men have more understanding for women. Plus help both to gain an increased appreciation for the “unbridgeable gap” between the two. Five chocolate dipped strawberries!
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
